whats a lads night out really like?

[confusedgirl]

so basically its not a trust thing at all, i feel quite guilty for feeling so bad really, its just i dont want other women looking at him

[noname]

you are never going to stop people women being attracted to your man. it is impossible you have to just put some trust in him.

 

contrary to some peoples belief, trust is not sitting back and living in denial. just because there are some people who burned and get burnt, does not mean everyone is the same way and cannot be trusted. i never put anything past anybody but i always give people the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise or i see behavior that should be red flagged. i do this not only because i treat them the way i want to be treated, but also because i can't live my life worrying about who is going to do what. it would drive me crazy to treat everybody like a potential villain. i don't have the time nor the energy for that crap.

 

if your BF has given you no clear signs that you have to worry about, then this is not a trust issue. it is insecurity. what's more is that it is perfectly normal to feel this from time to time. as long as you don't let it get out of hand. until you are really worried about his behavior, i think you should stay away from the spying sh*t, as you may in fact ruin a relationship that is healthy. just imagine how psycho you would think your man was if you caught him spying on you. there are few things as utterly annoying as trying to be with someone who doesn't trust you. emotional espionage = turn-off central...

[confusedgirl]

id NEVER spy on him, thats just crazy, i am very insecure, and i worry so much about the tinniest things about my boyfriend that it makes me ill. in fact i feel so ill right now, this sucks

[SexKitten]

the only way you can keep women from looking at your man is by dating a very ugly person.

 

if you want to date an attractive person, other people looking comes with the territory.

 

besides, who cares if they look at him?! what's the harm in that?

 

if you're worried about him being approached, that's one thing. but then the issue lies with your boyfriend to say "i have a girlfriend, sorry" not with the other girl.

 

i think you're worrying yourself unnecessarily about things you have no control over.

 

you really need to chill out. otherwise, it's a huge turn-off, and you're going to push him away.

 

then he'll be the one doing the looking...

[alphamale]

Originally posted by SexKitten

if you want to date an attractive person, other people looking comes with the territory.

amen sister

but don't u think it is worse for men with attractive females cause men are more aggressive and some will approach her if the dude goes to the bathroom for 5 minutes. or is it worse for good lookin men with women? women generally won't approach a man who is "taken", a few may i guess.

[TylerC]

Exactly, Alpha. Many girls will respect the fact that a man is taken and won't even bother looking if he is with the SO in public. However, guys don't care and will look anyway.

 

Lauren and I counted once, in 2 hours at the mall 23 guys checked her out and only 11 girls checked me out. It's not that I'm ugly, I'd say we are pretty equal in terms of looks.

 

 

I used to get jealous if guys checked her out, then I changed my perspective and it's an ego boost now! I've got something they want!

 

Look at it that way, and in your head when you see a girl check out your man, you can think "haha that's right bitch he's mine"

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by alphamale

 

amen sister

but don't u think it is worse for men with attractive females cause men are more aggressive and some will approach her if the dude goes to the bathroom for 5 minutes. or is it worse for good lookin men with women? women generally won't approach a man who is "taken", a few may i guess.

 

 

i don't know...females can be preeeeeeeeeetty catty. they can be just as aggressive as males, sometimes more. i know lots of women who really just don't give a shyt about other women. this behaviour, however, usually occurs when in the company of other women, not men, which may be why you don't see it as much.

 

i'm more aggressive when single. i have a boyfriend now, but i'll still catch a guy's eye and make sure he's checking me out while he's with his girlfriend.

 

it's not even an "I want this girl's boyfriend" thing, it's more of a "haha, your boyfriend is checking me out, neener neener" sorta thing, if you know what i mean.

 

necessary, no.

 

immature, fun, stupid, evil, mean, yes.

[noname]

Originally posted by alphamale

amen sister

but don't u think it is worse for men with attractive females cause men are more aggressive and some will approach her if the dude goes to the bathroom for 5 minutes. or is it worse for good lookin men with women? women generally won't approach a man who is "taken", a few may i guess.

 

it is worse for men because there are a lot of hawks out there. but don't be fooled for a minute that females don't do it. men generally get more women after them when they are taken. i've had girls approach me on the sly when me woman is standing right next to me. i was just discussing this on another thread. i think it has to do with confidence or being content but i also think that they can smell pheromones on you. i've asked a lot of my women friends why many women seem to flock to taken men. they have all basically said stuff like confidence or the no care attitude, but most admitted that subconciously, when they see you with a woman they think that "if she wants to be with him, then he is definately worth something." not saying all women have this attitude, just the ones that enjoy hitting on taken men...

 

so you are right. their are a lot more of us doing the approaching so it is worse for men, but they do it too... a lot...

[alphamale]

Originally posted by noname

it is worse for men because there are a lot of hawks out there. but don't be fooled for a minute that females don't do it. men generally get more women after them when they are taken. i've had girls approach me on the sly when me woman is standing right next to me. i was just discussing this on another thread. i think it has to do with confidence or being content but i also think that they can smell pheromones on you. i've asked a lot of my women friends why many women seem to flock to taken men. they have all basically said stuff like confidence or the no care attitude, but most admitted that subconciously, when they see you with a woman they think that "if she wants to be with him, then he is definately worth something." not saying all women have this attitude, just the ones that enjoy hitting on taken men...

 

so you are right. their are a lot more of us doing the approaching so it is worse for men, but they do it too... a lot...

I totally agree NONAME but we are talking about approaching someone directly. Taken men are definitely more attractive to women. But say a good looking couple is at a bar having drinks and the dude splits to make a call or take a piss. Chances are much greater some dude will approach her vs. her splitting and leaving him alone and awoman approaching him.

 

I think women will try to scam on a taken dude but they do it more indirectly maybe with eye contact or a wink but they won't go up to him most of the time.

[BrotherAaron]

Yes BROTHER ALPHA, that ties in to the fact that guys approach women far more often than women approach men - so an attractive girl is simply more likely to be approached than an equally attractive guy - unless that guy happens to be Tom Cruise. This is especially true at the club/bar scene, where men almost always outnumber women.

[noname]

Originally posted by alphamale

I totally agree NONAME but we are talking about approaching someone directly. Taken men are definitely more attractive to women. But say a good looking couple is at a bar having drinks and the dude splits to make a call or take a piss. Chances are much greater some dude will approach her vs. her splitting and leaving him alone and awoman approaching him.

 

I think women will try to scam on a taken dude but they do it more indirectly maybe with eye contact or a wink but they won't go up to him most of the time.

 

hell yeah. no arguments here...

[SexKitten]

sometimes, it helps to be a woman to know what they do or not do. even then, every woman is different.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by SexKitten

sometimes, it helps to be a woman to know what they do or not do.

True SEXKITTEN...a woman/mother would be a great person to ask what childbirth is like cause she has done it....but a woman would not be a good person to ask if a man wanted advice on dating women cause she has not done that (unless lesbian*).

 

*not that there is anything wrong with that

 

even then, every woman is different.

Again...excellent insight SEXKITTEN....but remember that every Zebra is different to but they all have black and white stripes.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by alphamale

 

True SEXKITTEN...a woman/mother would be a great person to ask what childbirth is like cause she has done it....but a woman would not be a good person to ask if a man wanted advice on dating women cause she has not done that (unless lesbian*).

 

*not that there is anything wrong with that

 

 

Again...excellent insight SEXKITTEN....but remember that every Zebra is different to but they all have black and white stripes.

 

 

mmmmkay...so skin 12 zebras, put the fur on 12 women, and you still have 12 different women...in 12 very ugly coats.

 

 

a woman can say "this is how i am."

 

a man can not say "this is how this woman is " and know for sure unless the woman told him or showed him.

 

i think rules may be a bit different for lesbians. fine line, you know?

 

i've been with both females and males, and i can tell you that i am no closer to the truth about either sex except myself and my own sex a little more than males.

 

and i don't pretend to know.

 

a woman might tell me "guys want to date submissive crybabies" and a guy might tell me "guys want to be hugged and loved by a total bytch who can put him in his place." i would more likely go with what the guy said--even though both may be right.

[XNemesisX]

Personally, I take it as a MAJOR compliment if other girls check out my boyfriend. I like it....

 

But it is hard dating a really attractive person. I did have to worry a lot about other girls going after him when I wasn't around..and it happened. A LOT.

 

Basically if you are with a very attractive person I think you most DEFINITELY have to worry about cheating more. Ugly people don't get much temptation in that department. But if you yourself are attractive, it's hard to want to be with an ugly person.

[BrotherAaron]

Being a member of either sex does not make you an expert on that particular gender. You wouldn't ask 25 year old virgin who's never had a woman what men want from girls. You'd get a much better answer from a savvy 25 year old woman who's been successful with guys. It works the other way around too - a man who's had a lot of experience with women often know what girls want as much as many girls themselves do. A lot of it can be learned from simple observation. It's not rocket science.

 

Don't discredit somebody's experience based on his or her gender. An intelligent, insightful person who puts forth the effort to understand the opposite gender is more likely to do so successfully than a person of the opposite gender who makes no effort to understand themselves.

[noname]

Originally posted by XNemesisX

Personally, I take it as a MAJOR compliment if other girls check out my boyfriend. I like it....

 

But it is hard dating a really attractive person. I did have to worry a lot about other girls going after him when I wasn't around..and it happened. A LOT.

 

Basically if you are with a very attractive person I think you most DEFINITELY have to worry about cheating more. Ugly people don't get much temptation in that department. But if you yourself are attractive, it's hard to want to be with an ugly person.

 

i hear you about the attractiveness and being worried. but the ugly thing is not as balanced accross the sexes. men have to be just as worried when they have a so called "ugly" girl. many guys have NO PROBLEM hitting on and sleeping with "ugly" women. even if they have standards, they will drop them if the price is right. not to mention the myth about "ugly" girls being easier. if they are bed-able, it'll happen. when it comes to someone hitting on your SO men have to be worried all around...

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by BrotherAaron

Being a member of either sex does not make you an expert on that particular gender. You wouldn't ask 25 year old virgin who's never had a woman what men want from girls. You'd get a much better answer from a savvy 25 year old woman who's been successful with guys. It works the other way around too - a man who's had a lot of experience with women often know what girls want as much as many girls themselves do. A lot of it can be learned from simple observation. It's not rocket science.

 

Don't discredit somebody's experience based on his or her gender. An intelligent, insightful person who puts forth the effort to understand the opposite gender is more likely to do so successfully than a person of the opposite gender who makes no effort to understand themselves.

 

no kidding.

 

i somewhat agreed with both and that i don't pretend to know anything i don't.

 

i wouldn't say "men don't know women" and "women don't know men" as an absolute fact, or that "women only know women" and "men only know men."

 

it helps to have a balance. one gender cannot claim to know the other better in an absolute way.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by XNemesisX

Ugly people don't get much temptation in that department.

XNX, there is an old saying that goes...."as a man, if you want a good life, make sure you have an ugly wife."

 

or something like that.

alpah

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by alphamale

 

or something like that.

alpah

 

 

who's this alpah character?

[BrotherAaron]

That's his real name

[confusedgirl]

well im glad the nights over, but now i hear hes doin it again at the end of the month f*kin great...im not lookin forward to it at all it sounds like their gonna make a habit of it and im worried