confusedgirl Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 i know this sounds like a very lame advice thread but i'm a very weak person in need of advice from anyone, anyone i dont care....my boyfriend is going out drinking this weekend with his ex work mates, i am not invited, not that i ever have been but he usually goes to his old work do's simply because his old mates are there and they have a laugh, but as it's a work do there are females there too, so it would be nice if i could go some time! but i am never invited so i always end up insecure and fed up when the time comes that my boyfriend says ''im going out drinking with my mates next week'' the insecuritys are have about it are simple and im hoping anyone (espescially the men in here) can give me advice on how i can feel better about the situation and how i can think posotively and not negativly about it. i know i am a very jealous insecure person and i believe theres nothing better than self help, so if anyone can tell me how to feel better and if any men can tell me what its like going out drinking without your girlfriend? id be very greatful
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Girl's don't' know. Thats the beauty of a guys night. They know we won't find out (hopefully) and they do anything from strippers to one night stands...Who knows...Not all guy do this...but they have in the back of their mind "My GF won't find out". I went out with my brother and his friends to a strip club. My bro goes out with my best friend and she wasn't there. My brother hooked up with a stripper (i know ). Now imagine while I'm not there and he's just with his friends.....
Author confusedgirl Posted June 1, 2005 Author Posted June 1, 2005 thanx for that you just made me feel brilliant! :S
alphamale Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Honestly CONFUSEDGURL....there is a reason why u are not invited to "lad's nite out". Maybe you should start up a "bird's nite out".
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Just think how out of place your bf would feel if you had a girls night and rented some chick flicks - he really didn't know any of them and wasn't included in the conversation flow. He's gonna be bored as heck too. He is going out with the boys -DOESN'T MEAN that he is out there cheating! Yeah, maybe there's some catcalling and flirting going on - The boys will be boys and pig routine etc...But that is to be expected when some men get together they all revert back to 12 year old's!! Either way, it's FUN and I think you need to allow him his time to do what he wants once in a while. A relationship works best when each of you have other interests, can go out with friends, have a good time and not worry about the other person getting upset that you've gone out. Each of you should be able to do this and come to terms that there isn't any cheating going on. Be happy together, but also be happy on your own too. That means you can have fun without him with your girl friends.
SexKitten Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Honestly CONFUSEDGURL....there is a reason why u are not invited to "lad's nite out". Maybe you should start up a "bird's nite out". hahahahahahahahahahahaha. you said "birds." hey, alpha...will ya tell me? i have ideas, of course, as all girls do, but i know i will never really know. i'd love to though... i'll make you waffles if you PM me...
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by SexKitten IHNFC loooooooooooooove the icon! Thank you Thank you! Sorry Confused the truth hurts.. I'm not going to feed you by a spoon to spare feelings. Thats what happens.....But that doesn't mean you can't do it! Go to a male strip club and have the time of your life with a guy in your crotch humming I'm too sexy!
alphamale Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by SexKitten hahahahahahahahahahahaha. you said "birds." hey, alpha...will ya tell me? lad's nite out = bird's nite out. same idea and same activities. could be good, bad or neutral activities.
SexKitten Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale lad's nite out = bird's nite out. same idea and same activities. could be good, bad or neutral activities. yeah, thanks, King Cop-Out.
alphamale Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by SexKitten yeah, thanks, King Cop-Out. Ok biotch I'll give u a bit of inside scoop. If a dude is fighting with the old lady or in the dog house then guys nite out is a good chance to scrounge around for additional and/or replacement female talent. If the dude is on good terms with the "vaginal unit" then he prob is there just to drink and pal around with the buds.
SexKitten Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Ok biotch I'll give u a bit of inside scoop. If a dude is fighting with the old lady or in the dog house then guys nite out is a good chance to scrounge around for additional and/or replacement female talent. If the dude is on good terms with the "vaginal unit" then he prob is there just to drink and pal around with the buds. you didn't have to call me a bytch. i was just joking. geez.
XNemesisX Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Confused, Find out where he is going with his buddies and get a spy. Get a friend who he doesn't know to show up at the same place. Pretty simple. You will find out very soon what he is up to, if anything.
alphamale Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Find out where he is going with his buddies Ahhh XNX but we are not as dumb as women think. We have effective countermeasures for this tactic. We tell the "vaginal units" that we will be at Bar X whereas we will in actuality be at Bar Y. If confronted we all just agree to tell the women that at last minute we decided to meet up at Bar Y. and get a spy. Get a friend who he doesn't know to show up at the same place. You are the mastermind of skullduggery XNX. Maybe the "spy" can be a hottie all dressed up sexy and sheyot and come on hot 'n heavy to the "spermal unit" to see if he falls hook, line and sinker.
Treasa Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 It all depends on the boys. You know what my "boy" and his friends do? They don't even go out. They sit around in the basement and play Yuri's Revenge or go see a Sci Fi flick. That's another reason why I prefer to date geeks.
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by SexKitten you didn't have to call me a bytch. i was just joking. geez. I think he meant that in a loving way...
Author confusedgirl Posted June 1, 2005 Author Posted June 1, 2005 i sort of believe that if men are happy with the sex then yeh, they wont be doin that stuff unless they are greedy, but i hate the whole 'they wont find out thing' if your gonna cheat, dump your partner first! dont put them through hell, ok they could never find out but isnt your conscious there? nagging at you? i know that when i go out i see fit lads obviously, but i dont think anythin of it, as im in love with my boyfriend, if i kissed them i would feel so much remorse and basically i just wouldnt ever do it i dont feel the need to. my boyfriends got a single best mate and he always wants to pull but my bf told me he used to consider pullin women before he met me but then he met me, he told me after i asked ''do men go out just to pull women?'' that men go out to pull but not all, that men go out to have a good time, piss about with their mates, take the piss out of their mates and catch up, ok in a smoky loud atmosphere with the likely odd tart with a skirt up their ass walkin about but isnt it possible a lad with a girl he loves and has brilliant sex with CAN just go out for a good time? and yeh, maybe glance at the odd totty but be there purely for the fun?
HokeyReligions Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Boy's night out for unattached males ususally involves girls -- watching them and if they can, picking them up, plus just male companionship and conversation. Boys' night out for attached males usually means games (pool, video, etc.) movies, drinking and talking about whatever their interests are (sports, games, cars, fishing, etc.) and maybe talking about girls in a general sense (why the heck does she want me to go with her to pick out ANOTHER pair of black shoes? What is it with women and shoes?) The same way girls talk in a general sense about guys. If there is a mix when your bf gets together with his mates (old office staff) then tell him you would like to go and that you will find others to talk with and won't be hanging on him every single minute, but that you would like to spend some time with him and at least meet some of the people he hangs around with. It shouldn't always have to be so different from when you go out with him and it doesn't mean you have to go every single time or will be 'clingy' --try to make him understand that.
RoxStar Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale "vaginal units" OMG that is so funny... is that like "parental units"... Love it...
noname Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by confusedgirl i know this sounds like a very lame advice thread but i'm a very weak person in need of advice from anyone, anyone i dont care....my boyfriend is going out drinking this weekend with his ex work mates, i am not invited, not that i ever have been but he usually goes to his old work do's simply because his old mates are there and they have a laugh, but as it's a work do there are females there too, so it would be nice if i could go some time! but i am never invited so i always end up insecure and fed up when the time comes that my boyfriend says ''im going out drinking with my mates next week'' the insecuritys are have about it are simple and im hoping anyone (espescially the men in here) can give me advice on how i can feel better about the situation and how i can think posotively and not negativly about it. i know i am a very jealous insecure person and i believe theres nothing better than self help, so if anyone can tell me how to feel better and if any men can tell me what its like going out drinking without your girlfriend? id be very greatful don't go thinking anything ridiculous. it depends on the lads of course. some sit around and play poker. some go out to the local dive and tie one on, some go to strip clubs. some hang out and watch the game. some go out to a club and think about how much fun their woman would have if she was with them. there is no manual for men that has a chapter on what to do when you are away from your SO. it's all relative. i have no idea what is going on with the work thing but i will tell you this. when i hang out with my old work friends, i prefer to be by myself. not because i want to get away. not because i wanna act the fool. but because my workmates and i are probably going to be talking all night about old stories, and my attention is going to be all over the place because there are more than a few people to speak with. i would rather her not be there because i don't want her to feel out of place when someone has to explain a joke to her or neglected when i don't pay enough attention to her. i give her credit that she can have fun if she tries but i would rather not have to worry about about her. no matter how you slice it, i feel like i am responsible for her having a good time. not to mention that if she wants to leave early, i am not going to send her home alone. and if the night is slightly off kilter or boring at least it is only me that had a bad time...
XNemesisX Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale You are the mastermind of skullduggery XNX. Maybe the "spy" can be a hottie all dressed up sexy and sheyot and come on hot 'n heavy to the "spermal unit" to see if he falls hook, line and sinker. Hey, that would be even better. Don't they do this on the Maury show? They set guys up with their "sexy decoys" and videotape them hitting on the decoys then show the incriminating evidence to the girlfriends. That would be an even better idea for the OP to do. If she has a hot friend or knows a hot girl, she can get that girl to hit on her boyfriend and keep a handheld tape recorder on her or in her purse and record the whole thing. Just gotta be sure the "decoy" doesn't end up liking her boyfriend and going through with some...activities. P.S. I have a tiny recorder and I have actually planned some of these tactics. You learn you can't just "trust" somebody...you better get out there and see for yourself if you can trust them. Never ASSUME you can trust someone. P.S.S. I am not a paranoid schizophrenic.
blue16 Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Hey, that would be even better. Don't they do this on the Maury show? They set guys up with their "sexy decoys" and videotape them hitting on the decoys then show the incriminating evidence to the girlfriends. That would be an even better idea for the OP to do. If she has a hot friend or knows a hot girl, she can get that girl to hit on her boyfriend and keep a handheld tape recorder on her or in her purse and record the whole thing. Just gotta be sure the "decoy" doesn't end up liking her boyfriend and going through with some...activities. P.S. I have a tiny recorder and I have actually planned some of these tactics. You learn you can't just "trust" somebody...you better get out there and see for yourself if you can trust them. Never ASSUME you can trust someone. P.S.S. I am not a paranoid schizophrenic. man I didn't know chicks went to these great lengths....how scandolous
ziggue Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Confused, Find out where he is going with his buddies and get a spy. Get a friend who he doesn't know to show up at the same place. Pretty simple. You will find out very soon what he is up to, if anything. . I thought of doing that once when my boyfriend had a guys night. Just out of curiousity. The club is just down the road. It's a pretty popular one too. Was too lazy to do it though. Haven't had the worry of actually needing/wanting too. I asked my boyfriend what he does on a guys night and he asked me the same question what I do on a girls night when going out. We both got the same answer to have hang out, drink and dance with your friends.
XNemesisX Posted June 3, 2005 Posted June 3, 2005 Originally posted by ziggue I thought of doing that once when my boyfriend had a guys night. Just out of curiousity. The club is just down the road. It's a pretty popular one too. Was too lazy to do it though. Haven't had the worry of actually needing/wanting too. I asked my boyfriend what he does on a guys night and he asked me the same question what I do on a girls night when going out. We both got the same answer to have hang out, drink and dance with your friends. well...some people may not want to do things like this because deep down they really don't want to know. Curiosity killed the cat like they say. But anyway, I realized after I caught my (now) ex lying to me that it's never a good thing to assume someone is faithful or even telling you the truth. So, it really wasn't until after I saw how deceitful he could be that I started snooping and spying. Now, I will never make that mistake again. I will personally investigate someone from the get-go. That way I will not waste my time again like I did with my ex. I had spied on him using special software on my computer so I could see what he was up to when I was at work. Not only did I find DOZENS of emails that he had sent and saved from various girls, but I also saw that he had looked up an old flame of his. I have had spies/informatives lol. I haven't used the decoy/tape recorder thing yet. But anyway, from my "informatives" if that's what you want to call it...I found out about him cheating, and continuing to tell an old spring break fling that he loved her even though he had only spent 5 days total of his life with her. I really saw his true colors. If girls, and guys too, really wanted to know if their SO was cheating or up to no good then there are ways of finding out. I think some people would just rather live in denial or don't want to screw up the illusion they may have of a person or of a relationship. Sometimes I do think I would make a great private investigator though...I have actually looked into how I could be one before....
Author confusedgirl Posted June 3, 2005 Author Posted June 3, 2005 thanx for ur inputs guys, one thing im really insecure about, about the whole 'night out' without me thing is, the other night me n my bf went out and hes bought a new shirt, he did his hair up with some gel and i thought he looked gorgeous, then i realise he would be going out looking exactly the same at the weekend in his lovely new shirt and i really dont want other women looking at him or flirtin with him...im a bit anxious of that
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