Versacehottie Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 You need to stop looking into the deeper meaning regarding his smiley faces or lack here of. Guys don't text like that. They're to the point, they don't particularly like sitting on text message for hours. He said he wanted to meet again, so why are you AGAIN, sabotaging yourself? If he didn't want to meet you, he just would have ignored your apology text. Stop thinking guys need to speak a certain way or behave a certain way on text message. Meet him in real life and gauge the interaction between you two. I agree that that there is a defeatist tone in your update message. I'm not surprised he is "giving you less". There's a bit of a desperate vibe to your actions thus far. Maybe it won't be the end of the world or your thing with him but you need to stop analyzing. Act like a guy with your thinking and get some standards in place. Turn the defeatist attitude around because it certainly will make this a disappointing sequence of events. yay you are going on the date; it should be fun; I hope HE lives up to my standards--not the other way around. I sense already you are doing this. Work on your self-esteem sorry but I want to help. Good luck and have fun on the date.
ScienceGal Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Please try to relax, stop over-analyzing and taking things so seriously. Just meet him and have fun! This is supposed to be a positive experience, not a stressful one.
phineas Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Eh, if he's been online for more than few months then he's used to being cancelled on & it should be not much of an issue. At least it isn't for me. But, I only schedule dates during the week until i'm actually with someone so I'm not to chuffed if someone flakes.
Author ishe23 Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 After we had agreed to meet yesterday, he texted 4 hours earlier to tell me that his oldest sibling was at the nursing home and needed him. He said we should reschedule. He texts me again 2 hours later telling me his sibling is ok. I replied back that I was glad everything is ok. Before we agreed on this 2nd attempt, I just had a feeling he would cancel on me, and he did. Why tell me "I'm looking forward to it " and also text me the day after Christmas to tell me "happy belated Christmas" only to bail on me? I don't believe him; it's too convenient that he did that. Also, he hasn't even texted me ever since. No reschedule talk at all yet. I don't understand why people still like to play games. If he contacts me again in a week to reschedule, should I give it another chance or let this go? I have a feeling I won't hear from him for a while, and if I do, he'll come up with some excuse. After a week if I don't hear from him, I'm going to let this go. So disappointed.
angel.eyes Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) IME, everything changes once you meet in person. He may have liked your photos and the conversation, but lots of times when you finally meet or see the person IRL, you realize it's a no-go. If I understand your account correctly, he became much less enthused after you accidentally met IRL...under "awkward" circumstances, whatever that means...one or both of you on other first dates, perhaps? Who knows? Anyway, it sounds as if you were the one pushing to meet after that, and he stopped taking any initiative. I would have let it fizzle out at that point. I want the guy to be eager and excited about dating me, not too have to be reminded. I shouldn't have to ask him constantly when we might meet for a date. He's clearly not that interested. At any rate, no biggie! On to the next! Edited December 28, 2015 by angel.eyes 1
brokengirl85 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 He saw you irl and didn't get excited. Sorry this happened to you. You did right canceling, he was not going to meet you anyway 1
mortensorchid Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I'm sorry to say this but you really handled that badly. First of all, since this is your first OLD experience, rest assured that you are not alone in wanting to meet someone, connect, then become disappointed with them for some reason or another. These are the things that you should have done and will know better to do next time (should there be a next time): 1) Initial contact - Don't assume that because the other party contacts you on the website / text that this is The ONE because there are so, so SO MANY WHO ARE NOT and just because we have the internet does not mean that we are going to meet THE ONE any easier than we have in the past. 2) Multiple contacts - Don't assume that the other person is not contacting others on the same websites or others. This person is there for the same purpose that you are: to meet people. 3) Texting contact - You were sending 3 out of 4 texts to him. You were being the aggressor. He didn't sound like he was all that excited about you over time because you were being aggressive. 4) Meeting IRL - This was an accident to be sure based on what I read, but there was no need to make it known. There was one time that I encountered a man I was on a dating website with sitting in a library computer lab. He asked if I was (handle), I said yes. He said he thought it was me, but he got off the website because of all the lying he encountered on it. I said that was probably a good idea and I was sorry that had happened to him. We shook hands and I never saw him again. 5) Cancelling - That was your call, but I have a feeling this was not meant to be and most likely for the best. Next time, relax, don't assume so much with people.
spiderowl Posted December 29, 2015 Posted December 29, 2015 I don't think you've done anything wrong, except perhaps take too much initiative. If a guy is interested, he will take the initiative. I think you sensed his lessening interest correctly. It may have been due to the fact that you were initiating things, which made him think he could sit back and not bother. Also, he met you but didn't rush to make plans after that. It suggests he didn't feel drawn to you at that time, for whatever reason. I really feel it's best to drop this guy and get on with your life, being mindful that if a guy wants you, you will know about it. If he gets fuzzy about arrangements, ask yourself whether you want this kind of thing to continue. if not, opt out before it has chance to affect your self-esteem. There are guys out there who will be attracted to you and make you feel great. Don't waste time on those who make you question yourself too much. 1
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