sankarc07 Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 Hi, I married 10 months ago, from the day one itself my father in law didn't had a good relationship with our family! (might be status issue but don't know). He didn't even talk to me after marriage(hardly 4 times he did i guess). he won't give respect to our family like if any functions he won't invite us but he will do to his daughter(my wife). Actually we are a traditional family we would expect these things(atleast an information sharing to us when something good or bad situations). We are getting no responses from him! Then i started hatting him and doing things in my own way but i won't show any reactions to him. but my wife observed it and asked me, why u are not spending time with my dad & bro. then i explained all these. for that she said, that is what our family is. we use to it. We wont take things hardly and we don't know to give formal responses and all. ect. but my mom is very much concern about it. Now what should I do to handle the situation with my wife. thanks Sankar
salparadise Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 Tell her that if her parents aren't going to show respect and consideration, then there will be no relationship between the two families. It's not reasonable for them to expect a non-reciprocal arrangement regardless of their status or whatever rationale they're using. Let her mediate. If they continue to snub you then just be cordial and expect nothing.
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 Now that you are her husband, invitations to your wife from her family should be interpreted to include you both. The word "you" is plural. Remain polite to your FIL but you don't have to go out of your way to accommodate him. In a marriage it sometimes takes time to understand the other family's dynamic & where you, the new spouse, fit into it. My dad had issues with how my husband did certain things. I'm still figuring out how his family works & I don't always like it or agree with it. But that doesn't mean I try to change it. I take what I can deal with & remain silent about the other parts. I changed a little bit but it's still not something I have control over. Acceptance of how things are brings a measure of peace. 1
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