Vilgefoz Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 (After reading glorious Xiomn's post, PLEASE, this thread is not for those who deal with rejection from one woman with sleeping with three other which they randomly find in their bed waiting for them! ) OK, now serious: Yeah, maybe this is very generic question so I will try to be a bit specific: I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it hurts me quite badly. Mostly from those I feel interesting or even important for me. Not only those women I'd like to "shag" but also have in my life, like friends. The fact is I have a lot of negative experience and very, very little positive, so each disappointment, even slight one reminds me past... Which might be the reason why it hurts so much, maybe more than should. It usually takes me at least one or more days to fully get over with, and here I am talking of random girls I just somewhat fancied, those I think of and care of can hurt me even for weeks... The point here is: I don't think (at least in my case) focusing to something different until the pain goes away is the best solution. I am merely ignoring problem rather than facing reality and preparing myself for next encounter. In other words, by ignoring and waiting the pain to leave I am doing zero progres, just foolishly hoping next time I will be more lucky, which in 99.5% cases I am not... so... any ideas? Thoughts? (PS: yeah, I do realize how pathetic I must sound, but I am speaking of very stupid aspect of my life here... if you ask me about career and entrepreneurship, I will be very different person... Just sayin...)
Author Vilgefoz Posted December 21, 2015 Author Posted December 21, 2015 Hmm... after doing some research, I think I found the answer myself: Actually, it could not be simpler - being rejected is never matter of personality or better to say person as whole but mere impression that person makes. Moreover, I could say this impression is often based on traits I have no control over such as: look (in this case I mean my mere genetic code), social status (in many social situations I have no power on how much importance will people grant me), and above all: perception of the opposite side of my traits. There is a bunch of traits I do have control of, but I don't know, my personal experience tells this control is not strong enough to make any significant change. Even in long term. Again, just my personal experience. Therefore I should not feel hurt because of rejection. It's not really personal. Even I rejected many girls far before I could have slightest idea what they really are, rather assumed based on external factors. Another point is, that in terms of qualities - the more "distant" person if from me - working both ways - the less chance I have with her. For instance, beautiful top tier CEO with excellent education id for me as difficult as teenage high school dropout junk. And lastly and above all, in general, I feel satisfied with who I am. Sure, there is a lot of to improve and I will work on it, but why should I feel down of myself? Even devastated? Nevertheless, the fact still remains: rejection HURTS. It would be weird, even suspicious if not. It's only understandable to give it an evening in a gym ti let it heal. Thanks for attention (yeah... )
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