We had to break up

[unevensteven]

Go back to October 2014 me and a girl started dating, she is one of my closest friends sisters, oh and did I mention we are both muslim?

 

It was going amazing for about 8 months, we were crazy in love, talked all night, we actually went on dinner dates and celebrate all kinds of milestones, we knew we wanted to spend our whole lives together there was no doubt about it.

 

We both agreed that if either our parents find out we would have to break up, because we aren't suppossed to to date as muslims, and agreed that we would have to become friends until the right time comes for an engagment.

So that's what exactly happened,her mom found out and she was heartbroken. So we had to break up, it was in late June 2015, last time we texted we both video chat and cried, she told me she couldn't sleep for days. We had to stop contact and the relationship.*

 

I couldn't stop thinking about her so I established NC, being really close to her family it was the hardest thing in the world because her brother is a close friend. I stopped going to his house, to avoid her and fearing her mom would hate me.

 

After a month or so I get a phone call, it's her mom. I answer and she was really nice, asking why I never come over, she told me that she misses seeing me at their house. I told her it was because we were dating before and I apologized for it all, she said not to worry and that if me and her daughter are going to have a future it will happen, but we both need to focus on school.

 

I started going over but still NC with her, not talking to her when seeing her and avoiding any kind of contact. Forward a couple of weeks, it is now about 2 months since our break up, I get a text from her, I never blocked her on my phone. She said hey, asking why I'm ignoring her because we both agreed when we were dating to stop dating if either of our parents find out and to stay friends I agreed and we started kind of texting, but not too much, just the occasional talks about our love for things that we have in common, school and some casual check ups.

 

I know I still love her and I still want to spend my whole life with her there is no doubt about it, but idk how long I can do this whole pretending to be friends only thing, she is so good at hiding her feelings, but I'm not.

I don't want to text her because I know she will reply back really late or just ending a convo by just not replying. But I also want to text her because I love talking to her. I know her mom would be check her phone if we text too much too.

 

Kinda stuck here, I think I am expecting too much from the texts and I am still thinking that we date, that she should reply right away or for her to start a convo with me, but she broke her moms heart and she told me that mutiple times. No matter what we can't date again. Idk how she feels about me but if she contacted me after NC and asking to be friends as we planned means she still has feelings?

 

I don't know what or how to feel right now

[mightycpa]

Don't muslim fathers get to arrange marriage for their minor, virgin daughters who are at least nine years old? Surely she's nine by now.

 

You're dealing with the wrong person. Why not work on old dad, and stop dithering around with her mom?

[Chi townD]

Okay, this is a first. People having the same faith having problems dating? I think they would rather have their daughter dating you rather than a Christian, Jew or Hindu....

[Itspointless]

I have the feeling this is more a cultural thing, than Muslim per se? Where are you from and which school of Islam are we talking about? I also get the feeling you both are really young? In my country I see lots of young Muslim kids together, apparently while their parents don't know and always pretending to be very faithful, yeah right

 

You have three choices, 1. do it secretly again, 2. try to forget her, 3.make your parents meet and discuss the both of you.