LookAtThisPOst Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 Male friend got to talking about a woman he dated. Apparently, they split after couple months of dating. He's had a reputation of tom catting it around with the women, but he claims to be looking for a serious relationship. They split recently, said "She's great, but we aren't looking for the same things in a relationship." I thought to myself, "Right, you want to keep fooling around and she wants something serious." Of course, that thought was purely speculative, but then later he said, "I'd still hit it...casually...if the opportunity came about." Though, this isn't the first time I heard men say this. Though I think women can be guilty of it, too. Some men or players are okay with sleeping around with women, but actually say they are looking for something monogamous..but willing to "have fun" prior to that. I recall a woman that had the hots for me once, but I found out about how she had "been around the block" with the members of our social circle and also complained about how she's slept with guys that never call her back. And I'm thinking, "Right, like I want sloppy <insert # here> lol." But...apparently SHE is looking for a nice guy, but in the mean time, is willing to sleep around between now and when she does find someone....well, I kind of turned down an opportunity with her, but she has found someone...for a permanent relationship...surprisingly. That kind of surprised me, because I thought a person like that would be incapable of something long term. But if a guy actually admits to being open to having casual sex with a woman, until he finds 'the one",...if you ever found that out about a person...would you throw them out as a prospect? Is having such a knowledge about that person turn you off?
casey.lives Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I know that absolutely EVERYONE is looking for that special someONE. Sport fu@king is not a crime.. emotional fu@king should be. :bunny:
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 I know that absolutely EVERYONE is looking for that special someONE. Sport fu@king is not a crime.. emotional fu@king should be. :bunny: Well, as long as the two are on the same page about it. That's where it gets dangerous emotionally.
casey.lives Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I know that absolutely EVERYONE is looking for that special someONE. Sport fu@king is not a crime.. emotional fu@king should be. :bunny:
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 ...a few women have been hurt by guys trying to "sport f**k them.
casey.lives Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 i don't believe anyone is capable of emotional restraint with sex involved - nope
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 .... I'm not one to do that, not really wired that way. Stupid edit is screwed up, everytime I want to add a sentence or something, it says I cannot edit it, so I have to create a whole new post to address the previous.
casey.lives Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 girls or women??? If you want a relationship, do as your predecessors have, GET MARRIED!
casey.lives Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 Nobody is wired to casually have sex but people use every trick in the book
xxoo Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I recall a woman that had the hots for me once, but I found out about how she had "been around the block" with the members of our social circle and also complained about how she's slept with guys that never call her back. And I'm thinking, "Right, like I want sloppy <insert # here> lol." But...apparently SHE is looking for a nice guy, but in the mean time, is willing to sleep around between now and when she does find someone....well, I kind of turned down an opportunity with her, but she has found someone...for a permanent relationship...surprisingly. That kind of surprised me, because I thought a person like that would be incapable of something long term. Why would you think that? Lots of people are capable of enjoying casual sex when single, and happily commit when they find the right person. This is extremely common. 8
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 Why would you think that? Lots of people are capable of enjoying casual sex when single, and happily commit when they find the right person. This is extremely common. I don't do this. I'm in the minority. I've wrote them off as prospects because of this. Being a person that isn't good at making choices in life is a turn off for me and there's a lot of people out there that think the same. 2
xxoo Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I don't do this. I'm in the minority. I've wrote them off as prospects because of this. Being a person that isn't good at making choices in life is a turn off for me and there's a lot of people out there that think the same. That's your choice, and that's fine. It doesn't make people who do enjoy casual sex incapable of long term relationships, though. That's just not supported by reality. Plus, enjoying casual sex doesn't mean someone isn't good at making life choices. Not everyone considers casual sex bad. 6
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 That's your choice, and that's fine. It doesn't make people who do enjoy casual sex incapable of long term relationships, though. That's just not supported by reality. Plus, enjoying casual sex doesn't mean someone isn't good at making life choices. Not everyone considers casual sex bad. It doesn't make people who do enjoy casual sex incapable of long term relationships, though. I'm on the fence about that, leaning towards disagreement there. I would question their ability to maintain a long term relationship, and if it impacts me, then it's a problem. I know what you mean, but when you hear a woman complain about "I met this guy, I really like him...we had sex...got what he wanted, and doesn't call me back." That's where it gets bad, apparently they think it's bad, and I have a hard time feeling sorry for them when it happens with them multiple times.
hasaquestion Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 You have to be the guy who used to post with a picture of the main character from Breaking Bad. Have to be. 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I'm on the fence about that, leaning towards disagreement there. I would question their ability to maintain a long term relationship, and if it impacts me, then it's a problem. The world is full of happily married couples with people who have "sowed their wild oats" before getting married. Since you know how you feel about it though you are doing the right thing by remaining single even though girls who have enjoyed casual sex have had the hots for you, you would be incompatible. 3
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I was always up front about it, so if the guy was hoping for more then it wasn't going to happen or continue, but I never had that problem. And yes I had np NOT being emotionally attached with someone I had casual sex with. Some people can, some people can't, simple as that. I didn't have any problem detecting that the guy just wanted to hump and dump....I guess I consider myself lucky that way. I could pick up on the signs easily. I realized early in life, emotions just get in the way of your better judgement. 1
No Limit Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 Knew one such guy. Definitely no prospect at all, seemed a little arrogant to me (but anyone who brags about sleeping around with girls who have partners would come off as arrogant in my perspective). Still wouldn't like such a man as a partner - didn't we have a thread in the marriage section a few months ago from a guy in his 40s who was married but bored, missing his 'wild times'? Yeah, I won't invest my years in such a man. No offense of course, everyone has their own methods of finding that special someone. 2
RedRobin Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 (edited) I might be ok with someone who had a history of casual sex in their very distant past, but have no interest in someone who has a 'fine for casual' and 'fine for a relationship' approach to sex. Sure... Lots of people can and do have emotionless sex. I see no reason to be in a relationship with that person. I could have emotionless sex too. Big deal. I don't consider that 'cool' or as some kind of badge of honor. I won't date a guy who has had a FWB. If you don't want to date a woman who is into casual sex, then that's fine. My only complaint is men who have slept around who want me to be in a relationship with them. Nope. They should find someone who shares their values... When those guys claim to want a relationship with me, I always think it is BS and just another way for them to score or try to make me their next FWB. Meh... Plenty of fish in the sea. just move on. No need to worry about it much... That said, you shouldn't be sleeping with women unless you get to know them... If you don't want to be a hypocrite. Edited December 20, 2015 by RedRobin 2
Amelie1980 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I'm on the fence about that, leaning towards disagreement there. I would question their ability to maintain a long term relationship, and if it impacts me, then it's a problem. I know what you mean, but when you hear a woman complain about "I met this guy, I really like him...we had sex...got what he wanted, and doesn't call me back." This is actually true from what I experienced. I dated a guy.....or I thought we were dating properly for nearly 3 months. It was went tits up when I found out he was sleeping around and I was one of many. That hurt. He knew I liked him alot. Regarding his ability to maintain long term, he had had long term relationships but all of them involved cheating and one involved multiple break ups.... I do wonder how he copes in relationships when he sleeps around loads. Is one woman enough? Clearly not as he cheats. 2
Popsicle Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 Most guys say they are open to ANYTHING, and that sucks. I usually pass on them and hold out for the ones who are only looking for something serious. (they exist) 3
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