stillafool Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 This is all I needed to hear. There are very few times when a person needs to be "honest" that it isn't code for being horribly insensitive. And his behavior all followed from there. It seems that her bf is trying to turn her against him. I don't think he wants her anymore.
LydiaLong Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Chenot, People who have never experienced this 'retro' jealousy can't fathom the pain that it causes. And it's impossible to explain to people what goes through your head---the movie scenes that play themselves over and over. The demons that haunt you every day. And having to be in her presence makes it far worse.
Glass Hut Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Some of you are recommending that she leave this guy, but I hope she takes all of this advice with a grain of salt. After all the best interests of the child need to be considered. This is a dating forum, clearly you two are well beyond the dating stage. I wish you good luck in whichever path you choose and you need to think very carefully how you proceed regarding the long term relationship you are in. 2
The Way I Am Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Some of you are recommending that she leave this guy, but I hope she takes all of this advice with a grain of salt. After all the best interests of the child need to be considered. As someone who is glad their parents divorced when I was a kid, I can tell you that sometimes the best interests of a child are for the parents not to be together. Not that it necessarily is in this case, but it might be. This relationship seems unhealthy for both people, which is usually not healthy for the child either.
Gaeta Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Some of you are recommending that she leave this guy, but I hope she takes all of this advice with a grain of salt. After all the best interests of the child need to be considered. This is a dating forum, clearly you two are well beyond the dating stage. I wish you good luck in whichever path you choose and you need to think very carefully how you proceed regarding the long term relationship you are in. I could not disagree more. A child is a filter, he/she will feel all the tension and lack of love in the household. Are mom & dad acting loving and respectful in front of their child? What kind of example are they setting? You think the child can't feel his/her mom is unhappy? It's much better for a child to live in a peaceful home with divorced parents than living in a chaotic environment only for the sake of staying together for the child. When I divorced people asked my daughter if she wanted mom & dad to get back together. She always said no, we're happier this way.
GunslingerRoland Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 This is a dating forum, clearly you two are well beyond the dating stage.. Did you actually read the whole thread before writing this? She said he constantly tells her he isn't sure he wants to be in the relationship. And they haven't even discussed engagement or marriage yet. So even though there is a child involved, no, I would not say they are past the "dating" stage. Anyway, I don't know how you dated him for 4 years without meeting his "best friend" that seems odd to me. I understand the jealousy, but if you've allowed him to stay friends with his ex lover for this long, it's a little too late for you to put your foot down about it.... if you decide to stay in the relationship, just deal with it and meet her.
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