Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 This has toxic written all over it. End it before it ****s you both up. Wait... it already has. Revenge maybe sweet for a moment. Gets pretty stale soon after.
Hughes101 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 M9ve on to the new girl.... I would try to teach her something first and ask her about how it feels to know you were cheated on. This won't make the blindest bit of difference and it's pointless. If she was able to rationalise taking another mans $#@# regularly and loving it a few words won't change what she experienced there. Move on and let her be another man's problem. If you find this too hard just imagine the graphic details of your sweet significant other getting it from this guy
Hughes101 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 (edited) You two deserve each other. Can tell by this post you're female. She messed up. Not him. In the reverse situation you would probably be trying to rip him a new one. Edited December 10, 2015 by Hughes101
mystikmind2005 Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Sounds like you deserve each other. Bingo! And then in a few years these two will be one of those couples on Adult Friend Finder looking for threesomes - to each their own.
kendahke Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 (edited) Can tell by this post you're female. She messed up. Not him. In the reverse situation you would probably be trying to rip him a new one. He messed up by allowing his hysterical, irrational emotions to steer himself off the cliff. He can't be truthful with future girlfriends when they ask him if he's ever cheated, unless they're an unholy mess like his ex. A woman who has a healthy sense of self isn't going to tolerate that. A chick who is messed up or desperate already will. The reason "she did it first" sounds childish and unbecoming a grown man. He had the moral high ground and no one could lay hold of him before he cheated. Now that's been dashed to hell. One doesn't have to be either sex to see that. And if OP was a woman, I'd say the exact same thing to her. Possession of ovaries doesn't excuse one from opening a can of "act right". Edited December 10, 2015 by kendahke
Space Ritual Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I had to read this lame assed thread a second time because I felt a gurgling in my stomach after eating Arby's and expecting the same result, except my turds started singing Angel by Sarah McLachlan this time. 1
Author jerrygordon3 Posted December 11, 2015 Author Posted December 11, 2015 I think I should clarify that she cheated twice, then the third time she went MIA all night she sent me a text breaking it off at 3 am. Then the next day told me she wasn't ready for a commitment. So technically I didn't cheat, I just blew her off for plans and went MIA all night and woke up to professed love texts.
No Limit Posted December 11, 2015 Posted December 11, 2015 While just dumping her the first time she cheated would have been a more elegant way to resolve things, I don't think you did anything wrong. You even told her you'd go with other girls. Now stick with your guns - be single for a while to get over her, then find a new GF who actually deserves a faithful boyfriend. And get tested for STDs.
Author jerrygordon3 Posted December 12, 2015 Author Posted December 12, 2015 im 29 and she is almost 26. we both have kids. she was married for 5 years and has been separated for almost two. I've tried to wait for her to be ready for marriage but she has gotten worse. we dated for a year and then she broke up with me and from what I can tell it was for another guy. now both of us are in the picture and she has been shady as **** since then. cheating and slipping away at nights. we got back together again at the end of october and she hasn't been faithful since then. also when we first got back together we found out that she was pregnant with the other guys kid. I paid for her abortion. she has yet to pay me back. I feel like a ****ing tool. all i wanted was a healthy relationship with her and marriage. something that seemed so close in the headlights for the year we were together, now is just becoming a distant memory.
Author jerrygordon3 Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 (edited) so if you read my previous posts I've had quite a bad relationship with a girl for over a year. we finally sort of stripped the title and have been making things more casual but agreed not to see other people. Honestly we have done to each other just about anything and everything bad we could but we are still close friends, are inseparable, love each other and have a ton of passion and chemistry. I guess the thing is, do other people do this? I should have ended things by anyone else's standards but we are still crazy about each other, and since we sort of put things on ice and stopped talking about marriage, we've completely stopped fighting and have been enjoying each others time. It's really easy for either of us to meet other people, and I've sort of started messing around on tinder, but the only reason i've contemplated going on a date is because my Gf/ex whatever, says we aren't official and doesn't really want to put pressure on moving forward because the trust is gone and thats where I get a little confused. I for now am happy, and I feel like we are having fun and I'm enjoying things. I have no plans on cutting ties unless she cheated or something. It's hard to say if we are just right for each other in some messed up way. maybe someday we will just get it right. maybe? is this normal. i seem to lose interest in other women quickly.. but with this girl I just always find myself trying really hard to be the best i can be. she pushes me to do better, and motivates me. and I do the same for her. i dare say i see things finally leveling out and becoming healthy. the only unhealthy thing thats happened recently, is me sort of seeing whats out there on tinder. Should I stop? is this situation worth a whole hearted commitment? Edited December 20, 2015 by jerrygordon3
Author jerrygordon3 Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 She always wants to look through my phone and goes through every text and reads the entire conversation with every person on my phone. Goes through all my pictures. My call logs. My apps. My Facebook and even looks at who I'm following on Instagram. It makes me feel really violated and uncomfortable and last night I told her no she couldn't look and she flew off the handle said she couldn't trust me and I'm hiding something and that she doesn't want to be with me blah blah. Is that normal? I don't think I should have to subject to a search and seizure every time she's feeling insecure
Tayla Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 is it normal for a person who is displaying paranoid tendencies and gas lights you? Absolutely! Now go change all passcodes. She isn't your warden to determine who you can be social with. privacy needs to be respected. She doesn't.
Space Ritual Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 Well I have a question or 10...lol Has there been anything in your relationship that has given her reason to act this way? Was she cheated on in her recent past? Has she shared any of these fears with you at all? Has SHE displayed any behaviors such as being secretive as well recently? I ask that also because sometimes people that are up to no good themselves use this as a deflection tactic to justify their own poor behavior. So if you could answer any of those maybe we can give you a better answer. Because something like that screams that there is something off here. I am not saying you are doing anything wrong, but is there anything you can point to that may give either of you pause?
MidwestUSA Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 You just posted a 'should we stay together' type post, on top of 15+ others regarding this relationship. How much more do you need to go thru? Sure, I know couples that seem to love being miserable together. If that's what you want, stop questioning and go for it. Otherwise, I gotta say, you two are toxic to each other. 2
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 TiP: if they are that paranoid, that is insecurity, you will be accused regardless of your innocence.....DUMP HER. 2
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 BTW what she is doing is abuse. It sickens me just reading your post. 1
Space Ritual Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 TiP: if they are that paranoid, that is insecurity, you will be accused regardless of your innocence.....DUMP HER. Did we switch places today Smackie? lol Usually it is I who is the proponent of Burning All The Witches as fast as possible. Must have been when you suggested the Curtain Rod Revenge...LOL. Welcome aboard the Scorched Earth Train! 1
Ic1 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I agree, run while you can! Like Space Ritual pointed out, it would help to know if she has reason for acting this way. Past issues in the relationship?
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 IMO who cares if she had past run ins with cheating BFs. Not his problem to fix. This is on her to get help......zowie!
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 If he is a bad BF then it needs to be over anyways.
katiegrl Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I suspect they both suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and/or some other mental/personality disorder.. OP, have you ever seen a mental health professional for your own dysfunctional and toxic behavior? If not, please do. Good luck.
Author jerrygordon3 Posted December 21, 2015 Author Posted December 21, 2015 a few years back during another crappy breakup and just after a combat deployment I spoke with my shrink and she thought that i had confidence issues and couldn't be alone. that was about it though. as for her... she's really mean. cold... if i have an issue she isn't really a nurturing person. after she cheated on me and broke up with me.. i met someone.. then we are seeing each toehr again exclusively but she doesn't want to put a title on things. I'm only seeing her again now.. but she doesn't want to be my gf but we aren't seeing other people. then after a good week together she says she wants to go through my phone and I say no. today she says its pretty much not going anywhere anymore... i think she's crazy for thinking she is in the position to ask to look at my phone.
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