GR4 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 Same girl as before, I offered a date, a place and a time. She tells me she's busy but will let me know when she's free. After our first date I thought things would be straighforward. We clearly liked each other enough to make out a few times during the date, had fun and got on really well. I've heard people say that what happens on the date is irrelevant and it's what happens between dates that is important. But why? Surely the date itself, when you're together, is the important part, no? This whole dating game is a nightmare, walked away from a couple of women tonight because I can't be bothered anymore. I don't trust women in the slightest, I don't believe anything they say to me anymore. Girls, of you say you're busy and you'll see when you're free what do you really mean? I'm pretty sure I know the answer I guess I'm just clutching at straws. 1
mortensorchid Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 What's wrong with calling her the next day and asking to see her again? Or is that what you did after the first get together and she told you she was busy? Need some clarification. If you are just sitting around thinking about doing it, that's not good communication. If you called again and she said she was busy until (day) and you make plans on that day, you are in the clear at least. But if she said "I'll call YOU when I'm free", that means she's not interested.
Author GR4 Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 She's quite shy and nervous and doesn't like talking on the phone. I've got no other option but to text.
Mjm1014 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 OP if she was really into you then she would jump on making another day free for you if she is busy the day you requested. This has happened time and time again for me-you think the date went amazing then, boom this happens. Here's what you do. Drop her. Immediately. No contact. If you see her out and about just say hello and keep moving. You need her to understand you're a high status guy with lots of options, and that you don't get hung up on one girl. If she had a good time on the date and wants to see you again, she will reach out to you-she knows you're interested. Most likely, if you give her a little space she will wonder what happened and ask you out. Good luck. I'd say it's close to 50/50. And to add, the whole "shy thing" is nonsense unless you guys are under 14 years old.
frus69 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 She's quite shy and nervous. Hmm yeah that is just BS Don't waste your time
TunaCat Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 If she was really into you, she would have immediately countered with a different day/time. If she legitimately didn't know her schedule and was away from her scheduling book, you would have heard from her as soon as she checked her schedule. She's left you hanging, so you need to delete her number & forget about her.
truth_seeker Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 This is a pretty simple formula: IF SOMEONE LIKES YOU >> They will respond to your messages and set times to meet you, regardless of their schedules. You are a priority to them. IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE YOU >> They will NOT respond to your messages. They will make excuses to not see you. You are NOT a priority to them.
Author GR4 Posted December 20, 2015 Author Posted December 20, 2015 I'm leaving it for the time being. If she's interested she'll come back to me. My problem is there is so much contradictory advice at there. Some say that a girl who says she is busy is flat out not interested, others will say she's playing hard to get. Thing is, every girl is different and there is no way of tapping into their thoughts. Judging by our first date she was clearly interested. There was obviously mutual attraction and I don't think that just vanished over night so whilst I'm expecting nothing I'll try and give her the benefit of doubt.
katiegrl Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 (edited) I'm leaving it for the time being. If she's interested she'll come back to me. My problem is there is so much contradictory advice at there. Some say that a girl who says she is busy is flat out not interested, others will say she's playing hard to get. Thing is, every girl is different and there is no way of tapping into their thoughts. Judging by our first date she was clearly interested. There was obviously mutual attraction and I don't think that just vanished over night so whilst I'm expecting nothing I'll try and give her the benefit of doubt. You are right. Some girls are just not into you ...and some are playing *hard to get* game. However, regardless of what is happening with them. ....YOUR response should always be the SAME. She says she is busy and does not offer an alternative date ...you move on. Reason being, she is either not interested or playing a game, and if she is playing a game, why would you want to date a woman like that anyway? Stay away from chicks who play that "hard to get" "how hard will he chase me" game. They are immature and insecure, it is very difficult dating such girls, many have issues with men, and you will be miserable......next! Edited December 20, 2015 by katiegrl 2
Wewon Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 This whole dating game is a nightmare, walked away from a couple of women tonight because I can't be bothered anymore. I don't trust women in the slightest, I don't believe anything they say to me anymore. Girls, of you say you're busy and you'll see when you're free what do you really mean? I'm pretty sure I know the answer I guess I'm just clutching at straws. Who cares what her "busy" means? However, you're wise to not simply take it at face value. Its sounds bad to "distrust women", but its good to be a realist and understand that women, by and large, are the original PR firm. So asking some women a direct question often results in some canned responses, however, ask the same questions so that they feel an 'out' and you will likely get an answer the jives with reality better. Most women don't reject directly and instead opt to frustrate the guy into giving up. Move on and date other girls.
truth_seeker Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 You are right. Some girls are just not into you ...and some are playing *hard to get* game. However, regardless of what is happening with them. ....YOUR response should always be the SAME. She says she is busy and does not offer an alternative date ...you move on. Reason being, she is either not interested or playing a game, and if she is playing a game, why would you want to date a woman like that anyway? Stay away from chicks who play that "hard to get" "how hard will he chase me" game. They are immature and insecure, it is very difficult dating such girls, many have issues with men, and you will be miserable......next! Good advice. That is true. Some are playing hard to get. Its even more true you do not want to date women who play these games.
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