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Posted

I've only been dating her for 2 months now, and I recently discovered beyond a doubt that she's depressed. :(

 

The short story is I could tell she was acting a bit seclusive a week ago, and after some time of her vibe and making up excuses to see me often, I confronted her on this. She had no idea she was and apologized, but then soon snapped by complaining about her life. Talking with her for awhile about it, I know she's depressed.

 

Many more details that prove this, but not the thread for 'if' she is. What could I do? She's being seclusive with many people, and doesn't seem to leave her place except to work. Current ideas are to bring this up to a mother-like figure that cares much for her and surprise her with an unplanned time out after work at a restaurant she's wanted to try.

 

Thoughts and ideas please. :)

Posted

Is she just sad about something happening in her life right now? (like is she unhappy at work, not getting along well with family, fighting with a friend) thats all stuff that could get her down but wont really classify as depression. You could talk to her, find out whats wrong, and help her sort out her problem if its minor (she could try sort out any tiff she is having with anyone else, from work, home, or social). Has she been showing signs of depression throughout the 2 months youre together? Does she not know what exactly is getting her down? Is she sick of life in general, even suicidal? Then she needs to talk to someone, preferably a professional. Talk her into going to see one. Only talk to her family (mother figure) if she refuses to get help herself. The more people you get involved (who will be fussing over her)the more irritable she will be, she might even be embarrassed or whatever.

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Posted
Is she just sad about something happening in her life right now? (like is she unhappy at work, not getting along well with family, fighting with a friend) thats all stuff that could get her down but wont really classify as depression. You could talk to her, find out whats wrong, and help her sort out her problem if its minor (she could try sort out any tiff she is having with anyone else, from work, home, or social). Has she been showing signs of depression throughout the 2 months youre together? Does she not know what exactly is getting her down? Is she sick of life in general, even suicidal? Then she needs to talk to someone, preferably a professional. Talk her into going to see one. Only talk to her family (mother figure) if she refuses to get help herself. The more people you get involved (who will be fussing over her)the more irritable she will be, she might even be embarrassed or whatever.

 

A bit more detail on the story. She's heavily inverted, but she was being even more seclusive a few weeks ago. After finding out from two others she's been this way to them as well, I talk to her about it. Her snapping was about many small things building up and her saying "her life is going nowhere!" Constant late shifts in a gourmet kitchen are a big part. She doesn't want to be in the restaurant industry anymore, but other things are of concern like family & finances.

 

This made me talk to one of her close friends on Facebook. (Intentionally chose one that lives out of state). Found she's actually often depressed because of her past experiences in an unstable family. :( Got this motherly figure's number from the out-of-state to bring her recent actions to figure's attention. She cares for my GF, and GF has even called her 'her other mother'.

 

Won't tell anyone else to keep from others giving her pressure, but have already left message for motherly figure :(. She's already seeing some sort of spiritual counselor once a week since before I met her. (But not for depression).

 

I've made a coupon with options of things to do for a date on me that I'm going to drop off at her place while she's at work so she comes home to it. The expiration date is the next day, and I know she has the day off. A happy surprise, a way to get her out, & an environment to address what she'll have to do about this. Personally I think she just needs to build her momentum by doing things for fun.

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