I cheated now what can I do to get him back?

[oregon0011]

Actually you can see by some of the replies that some women do justify cheating if they aren't constantly entertained.

 

Some people always want "new excitement" then they blame their partner.

 

Marriages obviously go through phases. Doesn't mean your hubby permantly "lost interest", so cheating is just fine.

[bubbaganoosh]

Did you ever think that maybe if you would have laid your cards on the table and let your husband know that your needs aren't being met and for him to do something about it would have been a better idea then the one you had?

 

Want to know whose the blame in this mess? Look in the mirror. You have a serious bad way of solving problems. Yeah you got your thrills but now your homeless. Hows that for a deal?

[Spectre]

I believe you need to see past the infidelity, and look at your husband's neglect. Your husband had already lost interest in your marriage before your cheating.

 

I like how this is what you pulled from her story. Yep, this...I am hesitant to classify her a woman, but this woman cheats on her husband and then when discovered basically says "if you didn't ignore me it'd be your dick I am sucking". That is just an all around awful way to treat anyone and if the husband lost interest in her then gee I can't help wondering why. She also has a male best friend who is also an ex whom she "trusts". Yeah, this marriage was doomed from the start.

 

The neglect is a sure sign......this incident was his out, without him looking like the bad guy. He ain't interested in you coming back.....he's been wanting to move on. Sorry but that is my take on this.

 

No neglect isn't always a sure sign the person wants out and that he is using this as an out. It could just be he was neglectful for "insert one of various reasons it could be" and found his wife sucking off her ex and kicked her out. Let me give you *my* take: husband works hard, perhaps too much..all to provide for his wife. She feels neglected and bored and decides dick is the answer. That is not even me being mean, she quite clearly tells us she "needed some dick".

 

That doesn't automatically scream "he is using this as an out". All that says is the marriage had problems and the OP handled it by cheating and being horrible about it and then coming here and saying she loves this man. That's either a sick joke or just plain sick.

 

I just personally do not believe for a single second you would respond like this to a man in the exact same situation.

Edited December 24, 2015 by Spectre

[smackie9]

I like how this is what you pulled from her story. Yep, this...I am hesitant to classify her a woman, but this woman cheats on her husband and then when discovered basically says "if you didn't ignore me it'd be your dick I am sucking". That is just an all around awful way to treat anyone and if the husband lost interest in her then gee I can't help wondering why. She also has a male best friend who is also an ex whom she "trusts". Yeah, this marriage was doomed from the start.

 

 

 

No neglect isn't always a sure sign the person wants out and that he is using this as an out. It could just be he was neglectful for "insert one of various reasons it could be" and found his wife sucking off her ex and kicked her out. Let me give you *my* take: husband works hard, perhaps too much..all to provide for his wife. She feels neglected and bored and decides dick is the answer. That is not even me being mean, she quite clearly tells us she "needed some dick".

 

That doesn't automatically scream "he is using this as an out". All that says is the marriage had problems and the OP handled it by cheating and being horrible about it and then coming here and saying she loves this man. That's either a sick joke or just plain sick.

 

I just personally do not believe for a single second you would respond like this to a man in the exact same situation.

No no no no!!!....that isn't what I meant and stop twisting my posts damn it. I DO NOT condone her actions, nor do I blame the husband for her infidelity. Her cheating is inexcusable means to justify her situation in her marriage. She asked if she can get him back. I was trying to explain she hasn't a hope in hell he would ever want to take her back, because he was already being absent from his role as a husband. I took a strong GUESS his neglect is a symptom of him not being happy in his marriage, I wasn't making it a fact. Since no one bothered to discuss this issue or maybe she did I don't know. From my personal experience of all the years of seeing friend's/coworkers/neighbour's/family's marriages fall apart irl it's a strong possibility he wanted out of the marriage. Not everyone just says I'm calling it quits I want I divorce. Some just start to detach, and escape with doing things like going out all the time and drinking, no intimacy, etc and her cheating was like his admittance that he indeed wanted out and this was his chance to do so. Some people are just cowards, both of these people are IMO. Not everyone follows: address it, get counseling, work it out or divorce.

 

If this is a true story she's messed up. I agree how can anyone possibly say they love their husband or wife, when they were full on cheating. Many of us can't imagine, BUT in reality, a lot of the time the cheating spouse does go back to their wife/husband and are accepted back because their love for each other IS that strong.

 

You may not be able to get your head around that, but this is real life, and real life isn't black and white. Not everyone feels or thinks the same way you do. I may understand their point of view, but just because I don't bash them for their behavior, doesn't mean I accept it or condone it. Human nature if just that way sometimes....you may not like it, I may not like it, we all may not like it, but it's just that way things are sometimes. It's a crazy cray world out there and that's why it makes life so interesting. It provides us with forums like this to entertain us, and possibly provide some help to those who need it.

[Marc878]

Darren, please.... a bit of dignity. This is serious.

 

No, really. It is.

 

Y'all.

 

Y'all is proper language for the south. I got transferred close to Boston and when I said that heads turned from all directions. It was a Kodak moment.

[William]

Folks, hydra trolling so we'll close this up. Sorry about that and happy holidays!