Jackie56 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 (edited) Hi y'all! My name is Norma!I'm 30 and (still) happily married.I cheated on my husband out of boredom.The problem is..he's never home.He works a lot but even when he's not working he's always out with his pals.They go to the pub and get drunk or do other things but whatever they do he is never home and does not satisfy me.I've always been a party girl,very active and I've always had a high sex drive.He's always known that which is one of the reasons we started dating-he liked it. We've been married for 4 years and the last two have been very boring from a sexual standpoint.We just started doing it less because of his lack of desire.I started feeling ugly and I started feeling like he didn't appreciate me and like I wasn't good enough for him.I don't work,I'm a housewife so yes I am a bit useless but I do love my husband and I know most of you will disagree with me after I tell you exactly what happened but I know I love him.So basically,one day my best friend Jim whom btw I trust because he also happens to be my ex bf came over for a few drinks because I invited him. I told him about my problems,he told me about his(not that he had that many) anyway we ended up making out and quite frankly he wanted to have sex and so did I but I turned him down..but then he started feeling down so I gave him a blowjob instead which I know is cheating but as rude as this will sound-I really needed some dick as I hadn't sucked or played with one properly in a long time.My husband caught us red handed because I got carried away giving Jim a blowjob.The moment he saw us I stopped doing what I was doing and started apologizing.Jim left but me and my husband got into a huge fight. I explained to him that if he would've been less negligent this wouldn't have happened and I would've been sucking his dick instead.He just left the apartment and the following day kicked me out.I understand his frustrations but I love him and I wanna make this right with him.What can I do? Edited December 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs and move to Infidelity Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I believe you need to see past the infidelity, and look at your husband's neglect. Your husband had already lost interest in your marriage before your cheating. The neglect is a sure sign......this incident was his out, without him looking like the bad guy. He ain't interested in you coming back.....he's been wanting to move on. Sorry but that is my take on this. If anything, all you can do at this point is give him space and let him come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 It is unbelievable that anyone would suggest that your rewite of your marital history is your husbands fault for you sucking another mans dick. You tried that line on your husband and he kicked you out. "Honey, you have been working too hard, providing for our family, so I invited MY EX BF over and sucked his dick. See, its all your fault! !!!" Ummmm...No. 13 Link to post Share on other sites
Leucine Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 If you live with your husband who never gives you proper dick, it's not because he lost interest in you or has someone else, it's because he is losing his mojo. It happens too easily to men who go along with the stressful modern life without paying any attention to their health, causing testosterone levels to plummet. Masculinity is a vulnerable trait, he simply couldn't handle the sudden realisation that this was happening to him. Link to post Share on other sites
mssweet Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 (edited) I'm confused why you started off saying "I'm (still) happily married". Whaaattt? lol Everything you said completely contradicts that. Anyway, if you really loved him, you should of talked about your concerns and tried to make an effort to solve the problems before you went ahead and sucked some other dudes dick. Edited December 19, 2015 by mssweet Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I cheated now what can I do to get him back? Undo the affair, and discuss your issues with him. But whatever you do - don't cheat. Y'all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Seriously OP? You invite your ex in, tell him a of your problems, have no boundaries or plan for fixing your marriage, then you suck your ex's dick (!), when your husband comes in you BLAME HIM FOR SUCKING YOUR EX'S DICK. Reread that. Ponder it. Seriously? Why would any husband want to "make things right" after that? He supports you. You stay at home. What have you chosen to do with your time? Complain about him and suck another guy's dick. Wow Entitlement. How WOULD you make things right with him? You haven't taken responsibility for any of it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Read "what every wayward spouse should know" It's pinned on top of the infidelity forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Hi y'all! My name is Norma!I'm 30 and (still) happily married.I cheated on my husband out of boredom.The problem is..he's never home.He works a lot but even when he's not working he's always out with his pals.They go to the pub and get drunk or do other things but whatever they do he is never home and does not satisfy me.I've always been a party girl,very active and I've always had a high sex drive.He's always known that which is one of the reasons we started dating-he liked it.We've been married for 4 years and the last two have been very boring from a sexual standpoint.We just started doing it less because of his lack of desire.I started feeling ugly and I started feeling like he didn't appreciate me and like I wasn't good enough for him.I don't work,I'm a housewife so yes I am a bit useless but I do love my husband and I know most of you will disagree with me after I tell you exactly what happened but I know I love him.So basically,one day my best friend Jim whom btw I trust because he also happens to be my ex bf came over for a few drinks because I invited him.I told him about my problems,he told me about his(not that he had that many) anyway we ended up making out and quite frankly he wanted to have sex and so did I but I turned him down..but then he started feeling down so I gave him a blowjob instead which I know is cheating but as rude as this will sound-I really needed some dick as I hadn't sucked or played with one properly in a long time.My husband caught us red handed because I got carried away giving Jim a blowjob.The moment he saw us I stopped doing what I was doing and started apologizing.Jim left but me and my husband got into a huge fight.I explained to him that if he would've been less negligent this wouldn't have happened and I would've been sucking his dick instead.He just left the apartment and the following day kicked me out.I understand his frustrations but I love him and I wanna make this right with him.What can I do? So I guess getting caught red handed and apologizing should have just smoothed everything over huh? I mean according to you if the way this all goes you felt neglected so you just happened to fall face first onto Jim's cock after suffering a "happy accident". Thus absolving you of all guilt in your role. Your husband should just accept it happened, come back to you so you can have a guilt free Christmas and act like nothing ever happened? Here is what you do. Grant your poor husband a divorce, and let him go live a life with someone who isn't you. Problem solved, Y'all. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 You haven't taken responsibility for any of it. Well she did call herself useless at one point in her post! We can't squeeze blood out of a Turnip now, you know that! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Game over. Find a new place to live. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Bwah ahahahahaha... oh geez:lmao: 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Darren, please.... a bit of dignity. This is serious. No, really. It is. Y'all. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Samhain Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Hi y'all! My name is Norma!I'm 30 and (still) happily married.I cheated on my husband out of boredom.The problem is..he's never home.He works a lot but even when he's not working he's always out with his pals.They go to the pub and get drunk or do other things but whatever they do he is never home and does not satisfy me.I've always been a party girl,very active and I've always had a high sex drive.He's always known that which is one of the reasons we started dating-he liked it.We've been married for 4 years and the last two have been very boring from a sexual standpoint.We just started doing it less because of his lack of desire.I started feeling ugly and I started feeling like he didn't appreciate me and like I wasn't good enough for him.I don't work,I'm a housewife so yes I am a bit useless but I do love my husband and I know most of you will disagree with me after I tell you exactly what happened but I know I love him.So basically,one day my best friend Jim whom btw I trust because he also happens to be my ex bf came over for a few drinks because I invited him.I told him about my problems,he told me about his(not that he had that many) anyway we ended up making out and quite frankly he wanted to have sex and so did I but I turned him down..but then he started feeling down so I gave him a blowjob instead which I know is cheating but as rude as this will sound-I really needed some dick as I hadn't sucked or played with one properly in a long time.My husband caught us red handed because I got carried away giving Jim a blowjob.The moment he saw us I stopped doing what I was doing and started apologizing.Jim left but me and my husband got into a huge fight.I explained to him that if he would've been less negligent this wouldn't have happened and I would've been sucking his dick instead.He just left the apartment and the following day kicked me out.I understand his frustrations but I love him and I wanna make this right with him.What can I do? If this isn't a joke, you're seriously crazy to think any of the above was justified by your husband "working a lot". Do you have a job? If not, you should get one, and you won't have so much free time on your hands to obsess over "needing dick" that isn't attached to the man you married. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Not much to do anymore. He will never get the picture of you sucking another man's penis out of his head. I've never heard of a reconciliation happening when the betrayed was a witness to the cheating. On a more positive note, as a soon-to-be-single-person you can resume your old life as party girl. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 How can you make things right with him when you trivialize cheating on him? What you did was not a minor indiscretion but a monumental betrayal of your marriage. He would be foolish to trust you again. You are responsible for communicating any issues you have with your husband. If he is unwilling to meet you half way then you have to accept that or ask for a divorce. You are not entitled to cheat as compensation. It seems highly unlikely you will get another chance with him. Even if you offered him a free pass to perform oral sex on his ex while you watched, it will never be even. Perhaps, deep down what you want is to go back to your party girl lifestyle, which is fine, but he shouldn’t have to be financially responsible for you anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 (edited) Your husband walked in on you sucking another man's d!ck and then you responded by blaming him for it. The question you should be asking yourself is "How can I help end this marriage in a way that is least harmful to my soon to be ex-husband who I betrayed in one of the worst ways possible?" And try to learn something from this and lose that sense of entitlement. You should have either talked to your husband and told him how you felt, and if that didn't work you should have made moves to end the marriage. You chose the worst, most damaging, and irresponsible path you could take and you'll have to suffer whatever consequences come from your actions. Having relationship issues/being horny is never an excuse to cheat. Edited December 20, 2015 by JS84 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I doubt your husband is going to forgive you. There is no way he is going to be able to get the video out of his head of you going down on someone else. The other part of this that just adds to it is you blaming him for it. I think personally your better just leaving him alone and moving forward with the divorce. Sure he clearly did somethings wrong in the relationship but no one deserves to be cheated on. If you walked in on him having sex with another woman and he blamed you would you accept its your fault for him doing that? Is this real love in your mind? I think you need to get into counceling for your self and focus on figuring out why you chose to hurt someone you said you loved instead of trying to work it out. The sooner you do that the better chances you will have in your next relationship on making it healthy. Good luck. C 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 If this is real. Then, you're pretty much screwed. What he witnessed you doing can never be unseen by him. That scene is burned into his brain. When most marriages end with one of the spouse catching the other in the act....well, they usually don't survive. Again, if this is real. Your post does have too much remorse in it at all. So, give him a divorce and be fair about it. Go your separate ways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I don't believe this story. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I don't believe this story. Yeah...pictures, or it didn't happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Interesting situation you've gotten yourself into, In my opinion, you're marriage is all but through, Chalk it up to being his fault all that you'd like, Suck another man off, any guy should tell you to take a hike. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 It doesn't sound like there is anything good about your marriage. Your husband goes out every day and gets drunk. You stay at home doing nothing (which I don't get if you don't have kids). You have no intimacy. To me, in a relationship you should make each other better people. Sounds like you are both on a road to nowhere in your life. I'm not saying this excuses your cheating, but it sounds like you guys both need to fix yourselves in addition to your relationship. If he doesn't forgive you, moving on might not be the worst thing for either of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 "I cheated because I was bored" I sincerely hope this is a troll post. If not....move on. He doesn't want you anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Your blaming your husband for your actions its over you cant win him back ever not with that point of view. He would he crazy to go back anyway you gave up a 4 year marriage because you were bored? Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts