What do women bring to the table in Marriage

[io2iio]

Lately i have been having second thoughts about what purpose does marriage serve to a man in this modern world. Women can do what they want , especially in the western world. Sleep with the bad boys in their 20's and than wait for poor looser guy when they turn 30 who is financial stable and get married.

 

Even though the world has progressed towards equality in pay, there is still the age old thing that men are supposed to pay for a date and should have a strong financial support and get ripped off in divorce by tax daddy and uncle judicial system.

 

So if a man were to marry in this era, what does the women bring to the table other than sex. In an age where women can do what they want even after getting married, the penalty is for the man to pay for child support and alimony, is it sensible to just shack up instead of getting legally married ?. The fact that the judicial system will make the father pay even for a child who is not his, under the assumption that it is the best interest of the child. Do men have anything they get out of legally getting married ?

 

Thoughts ?

[sambolini]

Lately i have been having second thoughts about what purpose does marriage serve to a man in this modern world. Women can do what they want , especially in the western world. Sleep with the bad boys in their 20's and than wait for poor looser guy when they turn 30 who is financial stable and get married.

 

Even though the world has progressed towards equality in pay, there is still the age old thing that men are supposed to pay for a date and should have a strong financial support and get ripped off in divorce by tax daddy and uncle judicial system.

 

So if a man were to marry in this era, what does the women bring to the table other than sex. In an age where women can do what they want even after getting married, the penalty is for the man to pay for child support and alimony, is it sensible to just shack up instead of getting legally married ?. The fact that the judicial system will make the father pay even for a child who is not his, under the assumption that it is the best interest of the child. Do men have anything they get out of legally getting married ?

 

Thoughts ?

 

As someone who went through exactly what you described, I can say that marriage offers a man nothing today. There is literally no incentive to marry whatsoever.

 

I'd even be wary of shacking up. Common law applies after a certain period of time, where the government basically says "You're now married by default."

[losangelena]

Why don't you try marrying a man instead? That's legal now.

[io2iio]

Why don't you try marrying a man instead? That's legal now.

Iam looking for thoughts on advantages of marriage. Not advise!. Keep it to yourself

[MidwestUSA]

Iam looking for thoughts on advantages of marriage. Not advise!. Keep it to yourself

 

But her suggestion does offer an advantage. No accidental pregnancies to saddle either one of you!

[hellohellohello]

Iam looking for thoughts on advantages of marriage. Not advise!. Keep it to yourself

 

Why did you change your comment? Your sudden mention of feminists was much more amusing than this more relevant comment.

[The Way I Am]

I'd bring my own 3 bedroom condo, six figure income and no desire to have kids.

 

As for what "women" bring, I don't know, because I don't know every other woman on the planet. How about stop looking at a whole group and asking "what can one of you interchangeable items give me if i pick you?" And instead ask yourself what you would want out of your life. If partnership is included in that, look for a woman (or man I don't judge) who offers you what you want

 

Because while I have a lot to offer the right person - and many other women probably do as well - I'm not going to waste my time on somebody who doesn't see me as an individual.

Edited December 19, 2015 by The Way I Am

[carhill]

What do women bring to the table in Marriage

 

Having been married, IME pretty much the same package of stuff that men do. We each have our unique gifts, perspective and focus, and a healthy partnership mixes those in a way where the sum is valued by and satisfying to the parties.

[io2iio]

Having been married, IME pretty much the same package of stuff that men do. We each have our unique gifts, perspective and focus, and a healthy partnership mixes those in a way where the sum is valued by and satisfying to the parties.

 

You can do all that with cohabitation instead of legally getting married.

[sambolini]

But her suggestion does offer an advantage. No accidental pregnancies to saddle either one of you!

 

A vasectomy does the same exact thing. And while I will never marry again, I have no shortage of female sexual partners. The best sex I've ever had was post divorce.

 

Sarcasm couched as "advice" is still sarcasm.

[jay1983]

Let me ask you a question and this is a serious question.

 

What exactly do you want them to bring?

[io2iio]

I'd bring my own 3 bedroom condo, six figure income and no desire to have kids.

 

As for what "women" bring, I don't know, because I don't know every other woman on the planet. How about stop looking at a whole group and asking "what can one of you interchangeable items give me if i pick you?" And instead ask yourself what you would want out of your life. If partnership is included in that, look for a woman (or man I don't judge) who offers you what you want

 

Because while I have a lot to offer the right person - and many other women probably do as well - I'm not going to waste my time on somebody who doesn't see me as an individual.

 

Your thoughts sound idealistic but reality and legal system are different. If you are a hard working man who has a six figure salary why would i want to risk it on an entire legal system that is rigged against you. Why would i just not shack up? . Cohabitation has all the benefits of marriage with the exception of the legal system telling you what you can or cant do ?

[losangelena]

A vasectomy does the same exact thing. And while I will never marry again, I have no shortage of female sexual partners. The best sex I've ever had was post divorce.

 

Sarcasm couched as "advice" is still sarcasm.

 

It's true, I was being sarcastic. Not uncommon in these parts.

 

Sincerely though, advantages of marriage? To a woman? Besides sex?

 

Companionship, love, someone to care for you when you're sick and old, tax breaks, a potential mother to your children if you want to have a family, a second income if you dare marry someone who believes in working outside the home (shock, horror!).

 

If OP's perception of women and marriage is that it's a battle that will end poorly with him on the losing side, I suggest he not get married.

[io2iio]

It's true, I was being sarcastic. Not uncommon in these parts.

 

Sincerely though, advantages of marriage? To a woman? Besides sex?

 

Companionship, love, someone to care for you when you're sick and old, tax breaks, a potential mother to your children if you want to have a family, a second income if you dare marry someone who believes in working outside the home (shock, horror!).

 

If OP's perception of women and marriage is that it's a battle that will end poorly with him on the losing side, I suggest he not get married.

 

You can get all that with Cohabitation

[The Way I Am]

Your thoughts sound idealistic but reality and legal system are different. If you are a hard working man who has a six figure salary why would i want to risk it on an entire legal system that is rigged against you. Why would i just not shack up? . Cohabitation has all the benefits of marriage with the exception of the legal system telling you what you can or cant do ?

 

I don't understand your comment. Did you assume because I said I own my place, make six figures, and don't want kids that I'm a man?

[sambolini]

It's true, I was being sarcastic. Not uncommon in these parts.

 

Sincerely though, advantages of marriage? To a woman? Besides sex?

 

Companionship, love, someone to care for you when you're sick and old, tax breaks, a potential mother to your children if you want to have a family, a second income if you dare marry someone who believes in working outside the home (shock, horror!).

 

If OP's perception of women and marriage is that it's a battle that will end poorly with him on the losing end, I suggest he not get married.

 

I agree, no one should get married if they don't want to.

 

Statistics show that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 70% of all divorces are filed by women. He's being prudent by avoiding marriage. Divorce culture is rampant among women in today's society.

 

Btw, there's nothing shocking about a woman who works. My very first criteria in a partner is a woman who makes at least very close to what I do. SAHM's need not apply.

[losangelena]

You can get all that with Cohabitation

 

Great! Then co-habitate!

 

I have friends who lived together unmarried for 15 years until the woman broke her elbow. Because they weren't married, and she was a freelancer without adequate health insurance, they had to pay out of pocket for expenses that, were they married, would have been covered by his insurance.

 

They married a year later.

 

Add that to the "benefits of marriage" column.

[losangelena]

I agree, no one should get married if they don't want to.

 

Statistics show that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 70% of all divorces are filed by women. He's being prudent by avoiding marriage. Divorce culture is rampant among women in today's society.

 

Btw, there's nothing shocking about a woman who works. My very first criteria in a partner is a woman who makes at least very close to what I do. SAHM's need not apply.

 

Yes, I know. Fine-tune that sarcasm meter.

[Woggle]

The same things a man does. It is about the individual rather than the gender of the person. There are some biases in the divorce court system that need addressing but that has nothing to do with the individual. Men and women should know who they are marrying and choose a spouse wisely if they want a happy and lasting marriage.

[sambolini]

Yes, I know. Fine-tune that sarcasm meter.

 

It's what your sarcasm implies: that he's a misogynist who thinks women should "stay in the kitchen" just because he doesn't believe in marriage.

 

I humbly suggest you don't imply ridiculous notions via sarcasm in an attempt to paint someone with whom you disagree in a negative light, and then claim said "sarcasm" as a cop out when someone contradicts you. Disagree with him all you like. But be aware that sarcasm doesn't make your arguments any stronger.

[sambolini]

Marriage is an outdated matrix for men and women to grow children, at least in the western world.

 

Maintaining a relationship long term has become near impossible with the multiple opportunities for men and women alike have to get bored with their partners and meet new ones.

 

So my answer is : make babies, but don't marry.

 

Very good post that accurately and succinctly sums up today's trends.

 

But I would avoid making babies. Men typically get the short end when it comes to parental rights. I've never regretted my vasectomy.

[Haydn]

Is bitter a kind of Ice cream flavour? (Or was i thinking Cider)

 

Got loads of mates who have been happily married for years.

 

I`d say their wives bring a lorry-load to the table.

 

Love-respect-income-children-hard-work-more love-total equality-Happiness.

 

The tolerance to `footy` (Cannot be easy)

 

Not married myself but the same.

 

All brilliant!

[The Way I Am]

Your question seems to have shifted from what do women have to offer in marriage to what is the benefit of getting married over not getting married.

 

I don't know where you live, but in my state, with no kids involved, a woman who makes more than the man has just as much to lose financially as a man who makes more than the woman.

 

As a woman (though I think you assumed I was a man) who also doesn't see much benefit for myself personally to getting married, I have no answer to that question. I don't even like the idea of marriage. I see staying together without being contractually obligated as a much more romantic and committed experience.

 

*BUT* if I met the right guy for me, and it gave him a sense of happiness or security to be married, I'd be open to it. I wouldn't lose the perfect guy over a trivial detail like that when prenups exist. (A guy who doesn't see the benefit of a prenup for both parties isn't rational enough for me.)

 

I can't be certain because I'm not a lawyer and the thought just occurred to me after I wrote that last sentence, but with common law marriage laws, you might be more secure with a marriage and a prenup than long-term cohabitation.

 

If you want to have kids (male or female), I think there might legal advantages to that for the kids' sake. Though I don't have much interest in looking into that. If you do want them, I suggest looking into whether there are legal benefits to being married vs not.

[losangelena]

It's what your sarcasm implies: that he's a misogynist who thinks women should "stay in the kitchen" just because he doesn't believe in marriage.

 

I humbly suggest you don't imply ridiculous notions via sarcasm in an attempt to paint someone with whom you disagree in a negative light, and then claim said "sarcasm" as a cop out when someone contradicts you. Disagree with him all you like. But be aware that sarcasm doesn't make your arguments any stronger.

 

That's actually not what I was implying. I don't think OP has that presumption of women at all and was not trying to cast him in a negative light when I wrote it. If anything, I'd think that a man who doesn't believe in marriage would be less inclined to think that women should stay in the kitchen.

 

Also, please leave my posting style alone, thanks.

[CrystalCastles]

I noticed a pattern on LS.

 

Men who scoff at marriage and say things like "what do women bring to the table besides sex", which makes an entire gender sound like nothing worthy of more besides pleasure, are men who were married in the past and got taken to the cleaners because they were stupid enough to marry a bad person.