LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 What's this all about? There are other women in our circle yet he only does it to me. I never back down and always make him look stupid in the end, but, this is getting annoying now. I consider myself a fairly intelligent girl and won't "stay in my place" for anyone. Today I barely got the words out and he was all over me. He also stares at me a ton, smiles to the point where I look away, but then will turn around and do this, be abrupt with me in general conversation, and just overall give off a vibe that he's uncomfortable in my presence. I'm keeping my distance. He's invisible.
Grumpybutfun Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 He completely has your attention or you would not be devoting a thread to it. What you want to know about how he feels, or what he is thinking are things a forum can't answer. Ask him, G
carhill Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 Yep, unfortunately we aren't mind readers. However, since other women aren't targets, either he has some reasonable or unreasonable dislike of you or he likes you and has an unacceptable, to you, way of engaging you. You should have a good handle on the dislike part if you have a history with him. The like part, not so much.
Gaeta Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 Reminds me of when we were in first grade and the boy sitting behind us kept pulling our hair. Same thing to me. It's a way of getting your attention. It's immature but it's still a way of getting your attention. 2
Space Ritual Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 What's this all about? There are other women in our circle yet he only does it to me. I never back down and always make him look stupid in the end, but, this is getting annoying now. I consider myself a fairly intelligent girl and won't "stay in my place" for anyone. Today I barely got the words out and he was all over me. He also stares at me a ton, smiles to the point where I look away, but then will turn around and do this, be abrupt with me in general conversation, and just overall give off a vibe that he's uncomfortable in my presence. I'm keeping my distance. He's invisible. He is a knuckle dragger.....I've met many in my life, usually at concerts in the Midwest and South when I was a roadie back in the 80's. They are also commonly referred to as Goobers. He is into you but he figures the only way he can get your attention is by being a jackwagon. Somebody advised him at some point in his life that the way to get a girl's attention was by negative attention, especially if he feels like an intellectual midget by comparison. It's a cockeyed way of looking at things, but not uncommon. Rather than engaging with him when he launches into you, perhaps address others in your group and look their way as if he is not even there.Eventually he will either get the message or make such a complete ass of himself that he will be forced to retreat. 1
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 He completely has your attention or you would not be devoting a thread to it. What you want to know about how he feels, or what he is thinking are things a forum can't answer. Ask him, G Yes, he does have my attention because I don't understand his treatment of me.
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 Yep, unfortunately we aren't mind readers. However, since other women aren't targets, either he has some reasonable or unreasonable dislike of you or he likes you and has an unacceptable, to you, way of engaging you. You should have a good handle on the dislike part if you have a history with him. The like part, not so much. Kinda stumped on the dislike part but it's ok I will keep my distance.
carhill Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I keyed in on: "There are other women in our circle yet he only does it to me." If observing him with other women and he treats them differently, generally, than you, then there's something about his psychology, unknown to any of us, which focuses the style of interaction on you only. That he apparently has done it repeatedly, even after you've 'put him in his place', indicates the behavior is ingrained and persistent and apparently impervious to confrontation. As another poster mentioned, it could be schoolyard behavior in a grown-up brain. In any event, it's evidently unacceptable to you so next steps would be to erase him as relevant and move on. Bad fit on levels which are important to you, for any sort of relationship. 1
smackie9 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 He is a knuckle dragger.....I've met many in my life, usually at concerts in the Midwest and South when I was a roadie back in the 80's. They are also commonly referred to as Goobers. He is into you but he figures the only way he can get your attention is by being a jackwagon. Somebody advised him at some point in his life that the way to get a girl's attention was by negative attention, especially if he feels like an intellectual midget by comparison. It's a cockeyed way of looking at things, but not uncommon. Rather than engaging with him when he launches into you, perhaps address others in your group and look their way as if he is not even there.Eventually he will either get the message or make such a complete ass of himself that he will be forced to retreat. goobers LOL jackwagon LOL I haven't heard those in decades.
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 21, 2015 Author Posted December 21, 2015 He is a knuckle dragger.....I've met many in my life, usually at concerts in the Midwest and South when I was a roadie back in the 80's. They are also commonly referred to as Goobers. He is into you but he figures the only way he can get your attention is by being a jackwagon. Somebody advised him at some point in his life that the way to get a girl's attention was by negative attention, especially if he feels like an intellectual midget by comparison. It's a cockeyed way of looking at things, but not uncommon. Rather than engaging with him when he launches into you, perhaps address others in your group and look their way as if he is not even there.Eventually he will either get the message or make such a complete ass of himself that he will be forced to retreat. Thank you, Space. I've never heard of Goober or Jackwagin before. Very interesting. Yea, I was pretty proud of myself for looking right over him the last time he pounced. I will continue to practice this.
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 21, 2015 Author Posted December 21, 2015 He likes you. Really? I feel like he hates me.
Popsicle Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 Some guys just don't know how to be nice to a girl, or worse, they think it turns a woman off, so they act like a prick. Ignore him. 1
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 21, 2015 Author Posted December 21, 2015 Some guys just don't know how to be nice to a girl, or worse, they think it turns a woman off, so they act like a prick. Ignore him. Thanks Popsicle.
GravityMan Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 <snip> Somebody advised him at some point in his life that the way to get a girl's attention was by negative attention, especially if he feels like an intellectual midget by comparison. <snip> Agreed. This guy strikes me as someone who can't or won't think for himself and doesn't stand on his own two feet. People like that tend to command little or no respect from others. I concur with those who suggested to just ignore him. 1
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 21, 2015 Author Posted December 21, 2015 Agreed. This guy strikes me as someone who can't or won't think for himself and doesn't stand on his own two feet. People like that tend to command little or no respect from others. I concur with those who suggested to just ignore him. Thanks. That's sad. I can't imagine not having my own mind. I thought he was cool at first and I really thought highly of him but now he's just so blah.
anduina Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 Why not tell him he's being annoying and that if he doesn't stop, you'll start ignoring him?
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 22, 2015 Author Posted December 22, 2015 Why not tell him he's being annoying and that if he doesn't stop, you'll start ignoring him? Really? Tell him that?
anduina Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Really? Tell him that?I would so it's perfectly clear to him that it's his behaviour that drives whether he gets your attention or not. If he makes fun of you for saying this, walk away from him mid-sentence so he's left mouth open, staring at your back. 1
angel.eyes Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 Why would you engage with someone who acts like a jerk towards you? What's that all about? 1
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 27, 2015 Author Posted December 27, 2015 I would so it's perfectly clear to him that it's his behaviour that drives whether he gets your attention or not. If he makes fun of you for saying this, walk away from him mid-sentence so he's left mouth open, staring at your back. Thank you. I will try this.
Author LoveIsABattlefield36 Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 Why would you engage with someone who acts like a jerk towards you? What's that all about? I'm no longer engaging with him.
road Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Really? I feel like he hates me. Yes, he likes you a lot.
StBreton Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Even if he likes you...if you decide to go out with him, can you imagine how he'd treat you if you got into a disagreement with him? This guy's got some growing up to do...don't go for the bad boy routine. Some 6th and 7th grade boys and girls sometimes treat each other this way because they haven't yet learned how to express they like one another in a positive, fun loving way. OP...if you like this guy, you could jokingly say "ok handsome, if you're trying to tell me you like me, we can have a pillow fight but I'd rather ________" (fill in the blank with an activity that you'd like to do on a date) 1
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