Gloria25 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 Ok, not sure what to make of this... I messaged him on Facebook a few days ago.... I simply laid out an example or two of him doing stuff that seemed flirty and/or to get my attention. I just let him know that I had no intention to break up his ongoing RL, but if he's unhappy, he's gotta make a decision instead of going around flirting with other women. Lastly, I apologized and let him know that if I was wrong in thinking he was flirting, interested, etc. and that wasn't the case, to please forgive me and I wished him and his family the best. I also sent him a "friend" request. He didn't accept the friend request, didn't block me, but didn't respond to my message either. So, any opinions why he didn't respond to my message? I was expecting to be "blocked". To be told to please leave him alone, f-offf,...something.
MuddyFootprints Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 He sent you a message. His silence is loud and clear. 4
Wewon Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 He didn't accept the friend request, didn't block me, but didn't respond to my message either. So, any opinions why he didn't respond to my message? I was expecting to be "blocked". To be told to please leave him alone, f-offf,...something. Has he been on facebook in the last few days?
Author Gloria25 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 Has he been on facebook in the last few days? Yes he has
lana-banana Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I honestly think you are scaring the crap out of this guy. He doesn't interact with or talk to you, but you sent him a message saying you weren't trying to break up his relationship and hoped he could be more direct? Then asked to be FB friends? I would ignore you too---I would be afraid of further exacerbating your ire by blocking you. Ignoring is always the safest way to avoid someone. Gloria, you have got to step back. If I were this guy's GF/wife and and a neighbor kept insisting she had a secret but unknowable and unproven psychic connection with my man, I would probably call the cops. 5
Qboro90 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I honestly think you are scaring the crap out of this guy. He doesn't interact with or talk to you, but you sent him a message saying you weren't trying to break up his relationship and hoped he could be more direct? Then asked to be FB friends? I would ignore you too---I would be afraid of further exacerbating your ire by blocking you. Ignoring is always the safest way to avoid someone. Gloria, you have got to step back. If I were this guy's GF/wife and and a neighbor kept insisting she had a secret but unknowable and unproven psychic connection with my man, I would probably call the cops. She also made the terrible mistake of putting her thoughts down into writing and sending it to him via social media. Now she has no control over what he does with that information or who he shows it to. Very good chance that he's shown it to the woman he's with and your image and reputation are being tarnished and questioned because you made it possible. Never ever put something like this in writing and send it out where you can't control whose eyes see it. Not sure why OP thought this would be the best option to take with this but then again she's neglected every other piece of advice to steer clear of this guy until she's able to see and understand the reality of things clearly. If he doesn't have the Facebook messenger app also then he might not have opened it yet. I'm not sure if there's any way to unsend a message on FB if it hasn't been read yet but I highly suggest looking into this if possible and deleting it immediately if you're able to. If not, then don't be surprised to find out through the grape vine that this guy posted a screen shot of your message on his wall or IG account with the caption "Talk about having crazy neighbors!" #help". 1
loveflower Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 So, any opinions why he didn't respond to my message? I was expecting to be "blocked". To be told to please leave him alone, f-offf,...something. yup, his not responding proves he indeed has a thing for you and you are right about that. You need to confront him why he is not responding. He is just too shy. you need an answer. This time confront him face to face (oops, he already avoided that). The cycle starts all over again...
thefooloftheyear Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 He's politely telling you there is nothing there...Women hate it when guys do this, but Ive done it in the past, and a lot of guys do this as well.. He probably feels bad to let you down and really doesn't know what to say.... Sorry... TFY 2
losangelena Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 He's politely telling you there is nothing there...Women hate it when guys do this, but Ive done it in the past, and a lot of guys do this as well.. He probably feels bad to let you down and really doesn't know what to say.... Sorry... TFY I've noticed that men hate it too when I do it to them. Nobody likes being ignored. 3
Author Gloria25 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 yup, his not responding proves he indeed has a thing for you and you are right about that. You need to confront him why he is not responding. He is just too shy. you need an answer. This time confront him face to face (oops, he already avoided that). The cycle starts all over again... No, he doesn't have a thing for me because he didn't respond. For all I know he didn't see the Facebook message and the day I tried to speak to him face-to-face he could have been asleep and/or not even home. No, I'm not going to make any more "confrontation" attempts cuz if he indeed is avoiding me, me trying to "confront" again is just going to make it worst. I don't think he's scared and/or actually interested in me. I think he gets an ego boost and doesn't want to let it go. So, that's why he won't block, tell me to bugg off, and/or simply level with me. Look, I appreciate the opinions/comments/experiences shared - but I ask that the sarcasm and/or insults be dropped...I don't think I have a "psychic" connection with this guy. If you look at some threads here from MightyPen. He's in a situation where he is in a EA with a woman he has NEVER met in real life. He has never kissed, dated, touched her, etc. Yet, from his posts - he is trying so hard to keep this EA going by making her a "friend". So, my point is, I believe that's what may be going with me and this guy. He enjoys the ego boost, flattery, etc. but has no intentions of dating me...and all I want to find out from him is if that's the case and let him know that I can't do that. At least MightyPen and the woman he is in the EA with have actually discussed their situation and how feelings, etc. are affecting their "relationship/friendship/whatever". My frustration here is that this guy won't simply have the frank conversations MightPen has had with his "friend".
Author Gloria25 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 I've noticed that men hate it too when I do it to them. Nobody likes being ignored. Exactly, ignoring makes it worst. People deserve to be treated with dignity and respect - especially if you make them think you were interested in them. On OLD, yeah, you may exchange an e-mail or so and then it all stops. I kinda hate it, cuz you sit around wondering "why", but it doesn't bother you that much cuz you don't have much invested in someone on OLD that you just met. But even on OLD, I'll sometimes respond and tell them that I'm simply not interested for X reason and I wish them luck...I've also had some guys do that with me...you just feel better when someone has enough courtesy to level with you. 1
Author Gloria25 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 No, he doesn't have a thing for me because he didn't respond. For all I know he didn't see the Facebook message and the day I tried to speak to him face-to-face he could have been asleep and/or not even home. No, I'm not going to make any more "confrontation" attempts cuz if he indeed is avoiding me, me trying to "confront" again is just going to make it worst. I don't think he's scared and/or actually interested in me. I think he gets an ego boost and doesn't want to let it go. So, that's why he won't block, tell me to bugg off, and/or simply level with me. Look, I appreciate the opinions/comments/experiences shared - but I ask that the sarcasm and/or insults be dropped...I don't think I have a "psychic" connection with this guy. If you look at some threads here from MightyPen. He's in a situation where he is in a EA with a woman he has NEVER met in real life. He has never kissed, dated, touched her, etc. Yet, from his posts - he is trying so hard to keep this EA going by making her a "friend". So, my point is, I believe that's what may be going with me and this guy. He enjoys the ego boost, flattery, etc. but has no intentions of dating me...and all I want to find out from him is if that's the case and let him know that I can't do that. At least MightyPen and the woman he is in the EA with have actually discussed their situation and how feelings, etc. are affecting their "relationship/friendship/whatever". My frustration here is that this guy won't simply have the frank conversations MightPen has had with his "friend". And here's the thread from MightyPen that I believe might be what I'm dealing with: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/550287-married-guy-secret-relationship-female-friend
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I hope that you are able to find some closure from this situation in time. Although he might be flattered by your proposal and leave it at that, his partner, wife, mother of his child (whoever she is) might not take the threat to her relationship very well, and might want her own "confrontation" with you. I just thought it was worth mentioning that because you are neighbors, there is the possibility that things could turn nasty. 1
lana-banana Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 And here's the thread from MightyPen that I believe might be what I'm dealing with: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/550287-married-guy-secret-relationship-female-friend The people in that thread talked all day every day. They were constantly communicating for months at a time and openly expressed their feelings for each other. By contrast, you say this guy barely or never speaks to you. You even say he ignores you completely. Your only "interaction" is via signals you believe he's sending. Everything suggests this "relationship" is entirely in your head and yet you continue to escalate the situation. Please seek out a therapist to help you sort through your feelings before this gets out of control. 2
GemmaUK Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I don't see any similarities between the thread you posted. Those two were in communication all the time whereas you and your neighbour have only ever spoken a couple of times over a year, two years now? You seem to be obsessed with this guy but it's all going on in your head. He did the right thing by ignoring the mail. Please don't send any more though as it could be seen as harassment. 5
loveflower Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 No, he doesn't have a thing for me because he didn't respond. For all I know he didn't see the Facebook message and the day I tried to speak to him face-to-face he could have been asleep and/or not even home. No, I'm not going to make any more "confrontation" attempts cuz if he indeed is avoiding me, me trying to "confront" again is just going to make it worst. I don't think he's scared and/or actually interested in me. I think he gets an ego boost and doesn't want to let it go. So, that's why he won't block, tell me to bugg off, and/or simply level with me. Look, I appreciate the opinions/comments/experiences shared - but I ask that the sarcasm and/or insults be dropped...I don't think I have a "psychic" connection with this guy. Now, you know what to make of the guy's reaction. Good. You finally are making senses. People here offered you tons of opinions/comments already, but did you listen? nope, you went out and did the opposite. I am tired and bored of repeating what people said here. we all have similar opinions. Since you like to go against people's opinion here, and you already have your own mindset already. you just want people to agree with you to say what you wanna hear, so I just gave what you want. Saying from a outsider, you can finally see how foolish the mindset was. 1
Popsicle Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 (edited) Ok, not sure what to make of this... I messaged him on Facebook a few days ago.... I simply laid out an example or two of him doing stuff that seemed flirty and/or to get my attention. I just let him know that I had no intention to break up his ongoing RL, but if he's unhappy, he's gotta make a decision instead of going around flirting with other women. Lastly, I apologized and let him know that if I was wrong in thinking he was flirting, interested, etc. and that wasn't the case, to please forgive me and I wished him and his family the best. I also sent him a "friend" request. He didn't accept the friend request, didn't block me, but didn't respond to my message either. So, any opinions why he didn't respond to my message? I was expecting to be "blocked". To be told to please leave him alone, f-offf,...something. lol He doesn't know what to say because you're making him make a decision and won't let him stay in his comfortable little limbo that he likes. He won't respond so don't count on it (or be angry about it). He doesn't want to say something one way or another. I doubt you will get more signals either way from him now, because his hands are tied, which is good. I hope that now you can let him go and put this to bed. Good luck. Edited December 19, 2015 by Popsicle 1
edgygirl Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I don't know the whole story but you are sounding like a crazy stalker. S-T-O-P!
BetrayedH Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 Meant gently, if you know he's involved with someone, you should know better than to engage in any of this nonsense - regardless of what signals he may be sending you. Move on for your sake, his, and his SO's. Otherwise I would have said that it was good that you finally took some initiative to get some info/closure on this situation. 1
MissBee Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 SOk, not sure what to make of this... I messaged him on Facebook a few days ago.... I simply laid out an example or two of him doing stuff that seemed flirty and/or to get my attention. I just let him know that I had no intention to break up his ongoing RL, but if he's unhappy, he's gotta make a decision instead of going around flirting with other women. Lastly, I apologized and let him know that if I was wrong in thinking he was flirting, interested, etc. and that wasn't the case, to please forgive me and I wished him and his family the best. I also sent him a "friend" request. He didn't accept the friend request, didn't block me, but didn't respond to my message either. So, any opinions why he didn't respond to my message? I was expecting to be "blocked". To be told to please leave him alone, f-offf,...something. He probably feels it's best not to engage you at all. I don't mean to be rude but given all you've said about this man, this seems like a one-sided almost obsession and if he feels that's the case he may simply feel like it makes no sense to address you at all and may hope this means you stop. Gloria, truth is no answer means dude is not into you and hasn't been flirting. Men cheat and flirt everyday and even those who don't cheat but flirt would likely welcome this chance to interact further if they were truly interested or curious. This entire year or however long he has never once did anything direct and now that you've confronted him and it's his perfecf chance, he's also silent. That says it all. No man is that shy. Lay this to rest. Or see someone professionally if you find that you cannot put it to bed. 2
spiderowl Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 No, he doesn't have a thing for me because he didn't respond. For all I know he didn't see the Facebook message and the day I tried to speak to him face-to-face he could have been asleep and/or not even home. No, I'm not going to make any more "confrontation" attempts cuz if he indeed is avoiding me, me trying to "confront" again is just going to make it worst. I don't think he's scared and/or actually interested in me. I think he gets an ego boost and doesn't want to let it go. So, that's why he won't block, tell me to bugg off, and/or simply level with me. Look, I appreciate the opinions/comments/experiences shared - but I ask that the sarcasm and/or insults be dropped...I don't think I have a "psychic" connection with this guy. If you look at some threads here from MightyPen. He's in a situation where he is in a EA with a woman he has NEVER met in real life. He has never kissed, dated, touched her, etc. Yet, from his posts - he is trying so hard to keep this EA going by making her a "friend". So, my point is, I believe that's what may be going with me and this guy. He enjoys the ego boost, flattery, etc. but has no intentions of dating me...and all I want to find out from him is if that's the case and let him know that I can't do that. At least MightyPen and the woman he is in the EA with have actually discussed their situation and how feelings, etc. are affecting their "relationship/friendship/whatever". My frustration here is that this guy won't simply have the frank conversations MightPen has had with his "friend". Gloria, if he is not responding to you, quickly, and with the kind of messages you want ot hear from him, he is not interested. A guy who is interested will respond and will make advances (steps towards you). This guy appears to be frozen and unresponsive. It would be so much better for you if you could throw off your attachment to him because you won't be open to meeting other guys until you do. You deserve someone interested in you and who is keen to spend time with you. Please don't accept anything less. x
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 I don't think he's scared and/or actually interested in me. I think he gets an ego boost and doesn't want to let it go. So, that's why he won't block, tell me to bugg off, and/or simply level with me. Why can't you understand that there is nothing to "level with" you about? He is IGNORING you. This means a lot! He enjoys the ego boost, flattery, etc. but has no intentions of dating me...and all I want to find out from him is if that's the case and let him know that I can't do that. You HAVE found out from him, he is living his life and it hasn't got anything to do with you! I'm pretty sure you posted at some point that he asked you to leave him alone ... did that happen at some point? At least MightyPen and the woman he is in the EA with have actually discussed their situation and how feelings, etc. are affecting their "relationship/friendship/whatever". My frustration here is that this guy won't simply have the frank conversations MightPen has had with his "friend". The other poster HAS A RELATIONSHIP with the person! They communicate with each other! You seem like you're in the mindset of a stalker. :eek: Do you see that? If a person doesn't talk to you when you pass on the street even though they're your neighbor, and doesn't accept your friend request on FB or answer your message - you need to get this - THEY DO NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU AT ALL. 1
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