Omei Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I would not tell him. This woman is hurt and when you are hurt, you do all sorts of irrational things. Out of compassion, don't embarrass her further by telling him. There is also a possibility that she is as invested as she is because he is stringing her along. It's hard to speculate but there could be all kinds of set-ups from emotional stringing along to a FWB setup. Don't automatically assume that she is the enemy. I agree I didnt think OP should mention anything either. The ex gf obviously still has yet to take a no contact step so shes swimming in pain, ya it's unhealthy if op ignores it wont amount to anything. With their contact he may be very well be giving her false hopes with their so called friendship, she cant be his friend clearly too hurt.
Author JenniC Posted December 21, 2015 Author Posted December 21, 2015 She was not the enemy. She and I have both been strung along; her more so than me. They did not break up. They continued sleeping together. He lied and lied and lied, to both her and me. The poor woman. I feel bad for myself but she has had over 8 years of this. No wonder she was stand-offish. It had never ended. He was seeing us both at the same time. Strong words will be had tomorrow. I couldn't bring myself to meet face to face with him today. What a disgusting human being. 2
BC1980 Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 She was not the enemy. She and I have both been strung along; her more so than me. They did not break up. They continued sleeping together. He lied and lied and lied, to both her and me. The poor woman. I feel bad for myself but she has had over 8 years of this. No wonder she was stand-offish. It had never ended. He was seeing us both at the same time. Strong words will be had tomorrow. I couldn't bring myself to meet face to face with him today. What a disgusting human being. Did you talk to her and put the pieces together?
Omei Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 She was not the enemy. She and I have both been strung along; her more so than me. They did not break up. They continued sleeping together. He lied and lied and lied, to both her and me. The poor woman. I feel bad for myself but she has had over 8 years of this. No wonder she was stand-offish. It had never ended. He was seeing us both at the same time. Strong words will be had tomorrow. I couldn't bring myself to meet face to face with him today. What a disgusting human being. Holy **** what an ******* who knows maybe yall can form a friendship and both leave him in the dust lol
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 it's weird that she would send an email to you saying " cut it off so that I can meet someone before you two date exclusively" like I think that is bizarre. Why is she telling you this? I think if she wanted to tell anyone this she would email him... unless, he's blocked her, or whatever, there must be a reason why she's telling these bizarre things to you, maybe so that he sees it?? strange. Either/or show him the email, so that he can clean up the mess as someone else has already stated. Even if it's an email saying " leave us both the **** alone". Anyway, this is not your issue this is clearly hers and possibly still his. Just don't reply back to it as it is not your business even if she is trying to make her drama yours by interfering into your personal life. She sounds manipulative and will cause lots of trouble if you let her interfere and mess with your head. Good luck. If she hasn't moved on and her ex ( your current bf has) than that's her problem even if she's manipulatively trying to make it yours. Wow. I feel sorry for her. Don't even know her.
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 She was not the enemy. She and I have both been strung along; her more so than me. They did not break up. They continued sleeping together. He lied and lied and lied, to both her and me. The poor woman. I feel bad for myself but she has had over 8 years of this. No wonder she was stand-offish. It had never ended. He was seeing us both at the same time. Strong words will be had tomorrow. I couldn't bring myself to meet face to face with him today. What a disgusting human being. wow I did not see this. And neither did you! at least it's put your mind at rest in someway. What a douche. You BOTH deserve so much better. 1
Toodaloo Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 She was not the enemy. She and I have both been strung along; her more so than me. They did not break up. They continued sleeping together. He lied and lied and lied, to both her and me. The poor woman. I feel bad for myself but she has had over 8 years of this. No wonder she was stand-offish. It had never ended. He was seeing us both at the same time. Strong words will be had tomorrow. I couldn't bring myself to meet face to face with him today. What a disgusting human being. Do you know what? I stick my my advice before. Keep your distance from both of them. They are toxic. Look after yourself chook. Not all guys and girls are like this. Some are quite sane and still fun and interesting!
kendahke Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) People keep saying shes crazy but I dont think so sounds like shes very hurt even feeling betrayed that Op is so much younger when apparently age was a issues in their relationship, shes feeling like the breakup is refreshed with seeing them together.How she feels is one thing--she's entitled to feel all of this. How she puts those feelings into action--that quite another thing altogether. She can be as hurt as the day is long-nothing wrong in that: we've all been there; but that doesn't give her permission to interfere where she doesn't belong and is not wanted. She has no business approaching OP about anything related to her dead relationship. OP has nothing to do with that, nor should she stomach someone basically telling her to give up her boyfriend because the woman hasn't found someone new for herself. That is what makes her sound crazy, not being hurt over being dumped. Having said that--upon reading the true backstory about this guy, OP--yeah, you need to put him down like yesterday. Edited December 22, 2015 by kendahke 1
Omei Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 (edited) How she feels is one thing--she's entitled to feel all of this. How she puts those feelings into action--that quite another thing altogether. She can be as hurt as the day is long-nothing wrong in that: we've all been there; but that doesn't give her permission to interfere where she doesn't belong and is not wanted. She has no business approaching OP about anything related to her dead relationship. OP has nothing to do with that, nor should she stomach someone basically telling her to give up her boyfriend because the woman hasn't found someone new for herself. That is what makes her sound crazy, not being hurt over being dumped. Having said that--upon reading the true backstory about this guy, OP--yeah, you need to put him down like yesterday. Didnt condone her behaviors, I stated it was unreasonable, but she isn't crazy and truly didnt turn out to be, just offered perspective on how someone could become that unreasonable with being that hurt, you just dont think with logic during those times as many of us experienced. I just wanted to say that because people were so quick to see her as a terrible unstable person when in reality take away this situation she could possibly be quite normal. Edit: or maybe not she did stay for like ever who knows !!! Just feel bad for them both lol Edited December 22, 2015 by Omei
crederer Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 In my life experience, he's probably a player and he's playing you, and likely at least one or two others, too. I only read the OP and not the follow up's, though.
Redhead14 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Hi guys. This could be long-ish so please bear with me. Okay. So, about four months ago I began volunteering for a local charity. I got on well with a supervisor there and we hit it off, despite him being older than me - I'm in my late 20's and there's a 20 year age gap, but that isn't an issue for me. Anyway, we spent time together and did interesting things. Things progressed and became romantic. We've only slept together once very recently. It definitely isn't all based around sex at all. We go to see cultural things, and the like. Well, today I received an email off his ex partner who also has loose involvement with the charity. I've met her and she was always nice to me if vaguely patronising; she's in her mid thirties, her career is just beginning, and she's settling down so she should have seemed happier. I couldn't put my finger on whether she was an insecure person with a difficult past and that was why she was highly strung and skittish, or just stand-offish. Her email explained that he had told her about our relationship and that she was distressed and upset. That she was annoyed that I was younger than her when they had "gone on a break" because of THEIR age gap and wanting different things. Then she contradicted that they were "on a break" by stating that she expected him to wait until she found a new man before he moved on. So, they DID break up. You can't be on a break if you're looking for someone else. Her logic puzzles me. Her email was patronizing but very emotional, claiming that she thought I should know and to contact her to find out more. I pity her because she's upset but I'm also irritated by her tone and her expectations. I also find it childish to send emotive emails to your ex's new romantic interest. I know we all feel like doing that when we hurt, but there's a filter that we do click into place. Yet I'm torn between being annoyed with her and being the 'nice' person and saying "oh alright, he was yours first". But surely that's silly? I don't know. She isn't even saying that she wants him back; she's saying that she wants us to cut this off until she finds someone new. Surely that's unreasonable? They're still friends, bear in mind, but have definitely stopped seeing one another. I haven't responded and I haven't told him yet. I'll see him on Monday and will have to tell him then, but I don't know if I should reply to her first or discuss it first. Please help! Do not respond in any way. Advise your boyfriend that you've been contacted and that you do not intend to respond. In addition, I'd advise that your boyfriend begin or maintain no contact with her. She is, let's say, less than mature and/or not thinking clearly. It is completely inappropriate for her to reach out to you in anyway.
smackie9 Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Do not respond in any way. Advise your boyfriend that you've been contacted and that you do not intend to respond. In addition, I'd advise that your boyfriend begin or maintain no contact with her. She is, let's say, less than mature and/or not thinking clearly. It is completely inappropriate for her to reach out to you in anyway. please read below: She was not the enemy. She and I have both been strung along; her more so than me. They did not break up. They continued sleeping together. He lied and lied and lied, to both her and me. The poor woman. I feel bad for myself but she has had over 8 years of this. No wonder she was stand-offish. It had never ended. He was seeing us both at the same time. Strong words will be had tomorrow. I couldn't bring myself to meet face to face with him today. What a disgusting human being. 1
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