waterwoman Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 3 and a half years after dday OW has left the school and got a job elsewhere. She was recently discovered in another affair with a MM by her H and she has been living with her parents while MM decides if he is going to leave his marriage or not If, 3 or even 2 years ago I had found out she was leaving I'd have been ecstatic. As it is I couldn't give a toss.... both H and I have acheived the nirvana of indifference to her. A couple of weeks ago the school put on a trip for staff and their families - I realised half way through that we were sitting right behind OW. A few years ago I'd have been sick with anxiety - this time I just found it quite funny. We put up the christmas tree tonight and life feels really really good. Merry christmas people xxx 17
merrmeade Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 3 and a half years after dday OW has left the school and got a job elsewhere. She was recently discovered in another affair with a MM by her H and she has been living with her parents while MM decides if he is going to leave his marriage or not ... A couple of weeks ago the school put on a trip for staff and their families - I realised half way through that we were sitting right behind OW. A few years ago I'd have been sick with anxiety - this time I just found it quite funny. We put up the christmas tree tonight and life feels really really good. Merry christmas people xxx Impressive. Same amount of time for me. Don't think I'd not notice if OW were any recognizable distance away, however. But happy day to know for SURE she's gone is an awesome feeling. Congratulations! I too just heard an hour ago from my brother that OW sister-in-law sold hers and another (deceased) brother's home of 30 years and law practice and now lives 500 miles away with her new husband. Awesome feeling. 2
privategal Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 why do you follow her life and know so much? 1
Author waterwoman Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 why do you follow her life and know so much? I don't need to follow her life. It's a school and they are hotbeds of gossip- I know some of the other staff. Also my closest friend knows ow's mum and hears all about her. People keep me posted whether I want to know or not. I think it's meant to be helpful.... I guess there will be quite a lot less to keep me posted about from now on. 2
privategal Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I just hope you realize gossip is toxic and keeps the whole story alive too and its really best to cut ties with people who gossip and continue a story after all this time. People who gossip with you will gossip about you. But if you truly want to close this chapter, stop the stories. Make new memories and friends..a fresh start involves not looking back. That ow is likely ashamed and embarrased...even if she isn't shes no longer in your life and people who care will allow you to move past it not bring it up and tell you her whereabouts etc.
purplesorrow Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I just hope you realize gossip is toxic and keeps the whole story alive too and its really best to cut ties with people who gossip and continue a story after all this time. People who gossip with you will gossip about you. But if you truly want to close this chapter, stop the stories. Make new memories and friends..a fresh start involves not looking back. That ow is likely ashamed and embarrased...even if she isn't shes no longer in your life and people who care will allow you to move past it not bring it up and tell you her whereabouts etc. Why does she have to start over with a new set of friends because of ow? 8
Author waterwoman Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 I won't let the A dictate whom I count as a friend. People can gossip about me if they wish- doesn't hurt me. I am sure they do - after all we all know "affairs don't happen in happy marriages" so I am sure they are wondering in what way I failed. But people who know me and love me don't care. 5
privategal Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 Why does she have to start over with a new set of friends because of ow? Im sure you realize I didnt mean a complete start over and not because of ow...but for herself I intended to suggest she begin to allow fresh air and new friends in who would surround her with positivity and protect her from hurtful things and old news as she is in a new chapter. Semantics...
Author waterwoman Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 Private gal - I don't entirely disagree. I needed a new start after Dday. My life as I knew it wasn't the same. The things I had believed in were tainted. I have developed new interests or at least further develop old ones. I have met new friends. It's all good. But there is no way I will dump my best friend - she has been fiercely loyal and I would not have coped without her.
sandylee1 Posted December 20, 2015 Posted December 20, 2015 I just hope you realize gossip is toxic and keeps the whole story alive too and its really best to cut ties with people who gossip and continue a story after all this time. People who gossip with you will gossip about you. But if you truly want to close this chapter, stop the stories. Make new memories and friends..a fresh start involves not looking back. That ow is likely ashamed and embarrased...even if she isn't shes no longer in your life and people who care will allow you to move past it not bring it up and tell you her whereabouts etc. It's not gossip if it's true though. I see nothing wrong with it. Just shows how she goes from one MM to another. As much as looking forward is good... you can't erase the past and it does good to see where you've been and what you've gone through. Perhaps helpful for the OPs husband to see what kind of woman he jeopardised his marriage for .....so he never does it again. 3
ladydesigner Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 It's not gossip if it's true though. I see nothing wrong with it. Just shows how she goes from one MM to another. As much as looking forward is good... you can't erase the past and it does good to see where you've been and what you've gone through. Perhaps helpful for the OPs husband to see what kind of woman he jeopardised his marriage for .....so he never does it again. I agree in fact I've always said that it wasn't gossip if it was true to my WH Sure does show the leopard did not change it's spots! 2
Whoknew30 Posted December 21, 2015 Posted December 21, 2015 I get what privatelegal is saying. Sometimes "friends" aren't really your friends...especially some you meet at school. Out of all my years volunteering at the school I only have true friend I still talk to, everyone else were gossips, trouble makers & LOVED when a marriage wasn't going well, so they could talk about it. They were ruthless & the sad thing I was only in my early 20's & the closet one to my age was at least 7 years older & they all behaved worse than the kids. I have a pretty high standard of what I consider a friend though, I think people get acquaintances confused for friends a lot! I'll talk to you all day & even go to a gathering with you & have a good time, doesn't mean you're my "friend".
Author waterwoman Posted December 23, 2015 Author Posted December 23, 2015 , I think people get acquaintances confused for friends a lot! I'll talk to you all day & even go to a gathering with you & have a good time, doesn't mean you're my "friend". I agree with you. But I'd never confuse the two. I can count my real friends on the fingers of one hand and I treasure them. That is the reason I won't give her up. I deliberately described the gossips from school as people I know - quite different. If I never saw them I'd not bat an eyelid. They just happen to be around when we attend social events at h's school. Incidentally I am anintrovert. I like people and find them interesting but I also find social interaction quite challenging. I've learned to do it because I'm a grown up and that is what grown ups do but its never easy. I come back from a noisy crowded place feeling like I've been emotionally mauled. I love solitude. Hence there are few people I value enough to hang on to and make the effort for. 1
wmacbride Posted December 24, 2015 Posted December 24, 2015 I just hope you realize gossip is toxic and keeps the whole story alive too and its really best to cut ties with people who gossip and continue a story after all this time. People who gossip with you will gossip about you. But if you truly want to close this chapter, stop the stories. Make new memories and friends..a fresh start involves not looking back. That ow is likely ashamed and embarrased...even if she isn't shes no longer in your life and people who care will allow you to move past it not bring it up and tell you her whereabouts etc. This happens to me to, be cause we live in a small yet extended community where everyone works together and lives in close proximity to one another. I hear stuff whether I want to or not. About 99% of it just goes in one ear and out the other. The little bit that doesn't is mostly " I can't believe she would do that", and stays in my mind for a few seconds and then is gone again. Does he feel bad about what she did? Nope, as she is one of those women who gets off on sleeping with other women's husband's who are foolish enough to do so.
Recommended Posts