anonymousbear00101100 Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 I knew this would happen. After an amazing week of barely thinking of my ex, hanging out with other girls, and genuinely being very happy for the first time since the BU, I had to come home for winter break. I thought being at home, away from friends and fun, and close to all my old memories of her, would make me miss her and go backwards in my healing process. And it turns out I was right. I have just woken up (it's 1:00 PM here, don't judge me) after having a long night of awful dreams about her. Basically, we were in my bed (the one I'm currently in), talking about all of the things she's done since we broke up, which of course only included a bunch of drugs and sex. I have been no contact for 11 days now (my longest streak) and still don't plan on looking at her Facebook or anything. Is being back in my bed where we used to "have fun" combined with having absolutely no clue what she's doing with her life making me have these dreams? I don't want her back (I'm starting to have feelings for another girl) and I definitely won't break NC, but this made me realize I still miss her.
mightycpa Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 First, you CAN have feelings for more than one person at a time and miss one when you're not with the other. That said, I'd be willing to bet that your feelings for the ex are not exactly the kind of thing that relationships are made from. Second, I think that dreams are where you work out problems that you can't work out while you're awake. It could simply be a response to being distracted for a week when your "problem" is unresolved. To me, this is a sign that you still have not completely dealt with your emotions. You have some stuff that you still need to figure out. The horse is dead, but not beaten to death quite yet. 1
mg4514 Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 Let me start by saying: listen to mightycpa!!! He/she is better at this than I am. He has helped me, and he gives it to you straight. Now, I'm not sure I can help you at all, but I chose to respond because this happened to me as well. And I can completely relate to how you're feeling. I can sympathize because I know it's nerve racking and unsettles your entire day. I had two dreams, nightmares actually, and I can remember them vividly and suspect I always will. They were similar in the sense that the objects of our affection were both basically rubbing our noses, relishing in fact, that we were apart and hurting. There seemed to be no remorse, or interest even, in getting back together. I guess the reason for my comment is only to let you know you're not alone.
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted December 18, 2015 Author Posted December 18, 2015 Thank you both. I think this is just a sign that I need to continue NC because I really really really don't want to actually find out that she's having a bunch of sex and doing tons of drugs. I'm still obviously not over her. I found a gift of hers unexpectedly last night and I started thinking about all the fun times we had. Then this dream about her telling me all of these awful things while sitting in my bed. The rest of today wasn't so bad and I didn't think of her often. I'm finding that even when I do think of her, I don't feel sad or angry or jealous, I just kind of think "dang it, she's still in there".
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 All of a sudden I have a real urge to break no contact. I just want to stalk her social media accounts. Logically I know she's awful for me and there's lots of girls out there better for me. Right now I just want to see her face or even just her name on my phone. This is the first time in my two weeks NC that I've got such an impulse.
Froelich87 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I've been there. They are a crap storm. I think waking up from those dreams is the worst part. Having to face reality again. Trust me when I say that it gets better. I may be one of the rare positive reconcilliation stories here, but read any of my older threads. I was a hot mess for half a year
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 I've been there. They are a crap storm. I think waking up from those dreams is the worst part. Having to face reality again. Trust me when I say that it gets better. I may be one of the rare positive reconcilliation stories here, but read any of my older threads. I was a hot mess for half a year I got back together with my ex after break ups 3 separate times. This is the longest we've been apart without getting back together, and today marks two weeks NC, another record. Just kind of weird slowly realizing we aren't getting back together. I'm on that border of total acceptance and happiness, and wanting to go back and depression. These dreams are just pushing me in the wrong direction, quite powerfully I might add. Glad to see I'm not alone with these and that it gets better though!
Froelich87 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I got back together with my ex after break ups 3 separate times. This is the longest we've been apart without getting back together, and today marks two weeks NC, another record. Just kind of weird slowly realizing we aren't getting back together. I'm on that border of total acceptance and happiness, and wanting to go back and depression. These dreams are just pushing me in the wrong direction, quite powerfully I might add. Glad to see I'm not alone with these and that it gets better though! You're definitely not alone. I had an entire month where I never wanted to go to sleep. I used to force myself to stay awake as long as I possibly could. I ****ing hated it. 1
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted December 19, 2015 Author Posted December 19, 2015 You're definitely not alone. I had an entire month where I never wanted to go to sleep. I used to force myself to stay awake as long as I possibly could. I ****ing hated it. Yep. Did that two weeks ago, which really sucked because finals was last week and my sleep schedule was all off haha. Staying up until 4 or 5 in the morning and waking up at 1:30 was not super healthy.
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