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Dating a girl who has been cheated on


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Posted

The girl I'd been seeing had been cheated on by her very first boyfriend (of several years) and later found two of her boyfriends at various dating sites. It seems like only one of her boyfriends didn't act this way. She admittedly has some trust issues and it appears that it takes a while for her to settle in a relationship. Her trust issues caused several somewhat major problems, which prompted me to think: How traumatic is being cheated on? If you've been cheated on (the way I described above), do you always think with a suspicious eye? When is something a learning experience and when is it a baggage? If you've been cheated on like that before, when do you establish trust with your new partner?

Posted (edited)

Baggage is really just an excuse for not dealing with past hurts and pain. It's a crutch people use to lean on and where they point and blame OTHER people for all things going wrong in their lives rather than taking inventory of themselves and how they might have contributed. That's where the lesson lies. It's takes a lot of maturity and self awareness and even brutal honesty to turn baggage into a learning experience that actually elevates you as person. Not many people can do it.

 

As for trust, it's earned. It's established through consistent and thoughtful action rather than just be words alone. If someone has been cheated on multiple times, it may take a while for them to realize that not all men are cheaters like their ex's. Then again, it's not your job to spend your life trying to prove your worth to someone who doesn't seems to get it.

 

It's a give and take and it takes two people willing to work at it.

Edited by Michelle ma Belle
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