Space Ritual Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 He can't change a rating retroactively. Only the company can and he would have to submit a specific complaint with documentation in order for that to happen. But each ride is rated. So if a person takes alot of rides it really won't have much of an effect due to one driver being upset because the rider has had so many rides the average drop would be minimal. But for the casual rider a poor rating is potentially a disaster if something like that were to happen. If they only take maybe 2 or 3 rides a month a low rating would probably have them waiting to the point of just cancelling and getting a taxi. Each area is different but in N.E. you have a lot of jerks anyway both drivers and riders alike. People are generally much more coarse here in manner and deed than they are on the West Coast. 1
RedRobin Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 I wouldn't... Pushy, 10 years older, and from a culture that (generally) doesn't respect women. ...and might mess up your ability to get other rides... Meh, not worth it. 1
katiegrl Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 (edited) I wouldn't... Pushy, 10 years older, and from a culture that (generally) doesn't respect women. ...and might mess up your ability to get other rides... Meh, not worth it. First bold -- I don't think that's a fair attitude. Just like you don't like to be judged based on the entire female gender, it's not right to judge someone on their entire race either. Judge each person individually.... plus her previous BF was Indian (I think)... which have their own issues but to my knowledge her BF didn't portray any of these characteristics, not from what LA has shared with us anyway. Second bold.... why would it affect her ability to get other rides????? Edited December 18, 2015 by katiegrl 2
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 I think you should do it, granted there is always a risk in whatever we do, But without risking anything at all, there's no reward at the end waiting for you, Go out on a date, have fun, try not to ask yourself if he does this to everyone, ANY customer service job will come with these risks, doesn't mean you should never try with anyone! 2
katiegrl Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 I think you should do it, granted there is always a risk in whatever we do, But without risking anything at all, there's no reward at the end waiting for you, Go out on a date, have fun, try not to ask yourself if he does this to everyone, ANY customer service job will come with these risks, doesn't mean you should never try with anyone! Agree, and it's one date. Good way to get your feet wet again. :bunny: 1
Author losangelena Posted December 18, 2015 Author Posted December 18, 2015 And of course you get high uber ratings! you are losangelena. A lot of us here in the virtual world, see your charm every day. It's not unbelievable that he rated you 5 stars. And definitely not unbelievable that he asked you out. Oh, you. :love: Hey LA .... look at this way. Even if you're not all that into him right now... or don't quite trust his motives or whatevs.... it seems like you enjoyed chatting and felt comfy enough to open up about a few things, so based on that, it might be a good way to get your feet wet after a LTR and you get to have a night out hopefully doing something fun. I personally would not worry he knows where you live, do you live in a secure building, does he know your unit number, does he even know your last name? Plus any guy you date is gonna know your address after a few dates anyway unless you plan to meet him everywhere until you're exclusive or in a RL. Not to mention, if he tries any "funny business" you could report him to Uber and he could lose his job.... so I highly doubt he's gonna go psycho on you or anything. So based on all that.... I say go and have a blast. You just never know.... Keep us posted! Thanks, girl. I guess I just don't know what this little prickly feeling in the pit of my stomach is—just nerves or was there something about this guy? I am afraid he'll be pushy. Not so much because of his ethnicity (yeah, my ex is Indian, not exactly a culture where a lot of women flourish, but I didn't get any misogynistic vibes off of him) but because I'm afraid he'll be a boundary buster. I'm still on the fence about this. Why would it affect her ability to get other rides????? He could rate me poorly (uber drivers can rate passengers) but he's already rated me and can't go back and change it. That's kind of a moot point right now.
katiegrl Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 He could rate me poorly (uber drivers can rate passengers) but he's already rated me and can't go back and change it. That's kind of a moot point right now. I did not know this! Okay, that would make a difference, but he did already rate you so that's comforting. PLUS how soon I forgot about the cab driver who I used to call every day to drive me to work (he never charged me the full rate) who was always asking me out but since I have a boyfriend ... I would obviously always turn him down... which never stopped him from continuing to ask....which soon became quite awkward.... due to... ...once he contacted me at work (he had my cell number as I used to call him from my cell to come pick me up).... he said it was a mistake, but after that it got really creepy so I stopped calling him and now call a different cab company and pay the full fare. I need to get a Smartphone so I can call Uber!! But my point is if you choose to go and you don't like him and have to reject him.... when you call Uber and he's the driver again, it could be very awkward. I don't know how Uber works .... so don't know if random Uber drivers pick you up or if you can request specific ones or ask that a specific driver not pick you up... Do you have car-to-go in Los Angeles? We have em here which I am also considering.... So a lot to consider...but mostly I say go with YOUR own gut on this..... We often dismiss our gut feelings ... thinking we're just nervous or insecure or whatevs..... I think we need to start paying more attention to it!! 1
Ruby Slippers Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 I get a bad vibe from your comments about him. I have a feeling you shouldn't go out with this one. Just my feeling. I think Middle Eastern men are HOT. What attracts me to them, in spite of their attractive physical features, is that they're generally more masculine, brave, and direct than the softer, more sensitive Western men. Nothing gets me going like strength and passion in a man. I just started a new job, and my first two and only throbbing crushes are for Middle Eastern men. They're so MANLY. And super smart and responsible about work. My last boyfriend was Middle Eastern. We're still friends, and he is one of the coolest guys you'll ever meet. Pretty much nobody has treated me with more respect and care, encouraged me more to rise to my full potential in life. We didn't work out for logistical reasons, but he's a wonderful guy who defies almost all the stereotypes about Middle Eastern men. But I'm getting the impression from what you're saying about this guy that you feel uneasy about the possibilities. That's telling you something. I say heed your intuition. 1
Author losangelena Posted December 18, 2015 Author Posted December 18, 2015 Since he gave you his number, and it sounds like you find him somewhat interesting (otherwise you wouldn't even be considering it), why not text him when you get back? I say this not be insulting, but as a single woman in the market for a man, at what point do you accept a date? Maybe I'm wrong, but I suspect a lot of women get cold feet about being the first to text a guy. If that's the case, toss that thinking out the window. If this leads to a relationship, no one will remember or care who texted first. Hey, sorry I didn't see your post earlier. I actually don't have a problem accepting a date when I feel comfortable with someone. The prospect of going out with him does not set me at ease though, so as I said, I'm not sure if the dis-ease is coming from a place of general discomfort (not having dated in a while, etc) or because there was something ABOUT him that is tripping alarm bells. If I wasn't feeling weird about it, I would have no trouble sending him a quick text, but as I said, something about this situation is giving me pause and I'm trying to figure out what it is.
strawberryshortstack Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 However, there's another part of me though that's like, "just text him and go out with him; it's just a date, it's just a couple of drinks and if you don't like it you don't have to see him again." I thought he was interesting and easy to talk and handsome, but again, ugh, I don't know. Part of me just wants to get the dating ball rolling again, but I feel ambivalent about this guy. This. Listen to this. Give him a chance, and if you're still ambivalent after the date, then at least you tried. 1
CrystalCastles Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 Agreed with Ruby. As a Israeli-Canadian, I've seen some very gorgeous Middle Eastern men, both here and in Israel. I'd say just go on a date! Its not like you're marrying this guy, its just a date. Him being pushy is just the car salesman thing. My parents have had the same realtor for years who they do business with because they sell new homes as a side thing, and she's the pushiest woman I've ever met. However, that's only when she's in business mode, otherwise she's really sweet and friendly. And totally respectful. We've known her for 7 - 8 years. I know what you mean about the gut feeling. However I've had gut feelings about men that proved totally wrong once I got to know them. You're not committing to anything, you can decide not to see this guy at any time. I'd say take the chance. There's nothing to lose anyway, and he might turn out to be fabulous. 1
bluefeather Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 The fact that he is in his forties and gave you his number so you could "text" him makes me want to flip this desk over. Sorry... 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 I was gonna write my own opinion, but I don't know that I can present a strong foundation for my thoughts, so instead I'm just going to ask the Spongebob Magic 8-ball Should this woman from LS accept the invitation from the Uber driver? (hold on, I have to move the cat to get to the 8-ball ) It said: Yesssss! (five S's is emphatic) Have fun!! (ps - yes, the actual Spongebob Magic 8-ball has "yes" with FIVE SSSSS's ) (how dare you...) 2
RedRobin Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 (edited) First bold -- I don't think that's a fair attitude. Just like you don't like to be judged based on the entire female gender, it's not right to judge someone on their entire race either. Judge each person individually.... plus her previous BF was Indian (I think)... which have their own issues but to my knowledge her BF didn't portray any of these characteristics, not from what LA has shared with us anyway. Second bold.... why would it affect her ability to get other rides????? It's just as fair as not wanting to date someone 10 years older. Indian is different than Middle Eastern. MUCH different. I work around people from all over the world. In fact, I and other westerners are the minority. Unless they were born here, and been here for awhile... Nopety nope for me. This is not a race thing... It's a cultural thing. Some of my best friends are Indian. I get along with them much better than Middle Eastern men... Who are 'Polite', but generally expect me to defer to them just because they have a penis. That said, one of my advisors was Egyptian. He was very supportive, but that was his job. I suspect things were different at home. About this guy...It might be a different story if he were similar age and didn't have this Uber tie. Edited December 18, 2015 by RedRobin 1
SoleMate Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 He said that he could very easily go to Jordan to find a wife, but he claims to want a modern romance with a woman who......knows American culture, works, etc. I would inquire a bit more as to what aspect of modernity he is keenest to experience. It may be primarily sexual, and he's hoping you'll be freer in this regard than Jordanian women. As a guess. To those who say there is no risk in accepting one date: In general, that is NOT true. I would be very careful even in accepting a date. Some men from certain cultures and/or mindsets develop an irrational yet strong sense of ownership as quickly as after one date. Unless I was quite sure he wouldn't become a pest regardless of outcome, I wouldn't accept a date. YMMV. 2
Timshel Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 First bold -- I don't think that's a fair attitude. Just like you don't like to be judged based on the entire female gender, it's not right to judge someone on their entire race either. Judge each person individually.... plus her previous BF was Indian (I think)... which have their own issues but to my knowledge her BF didn't portray any of these characteristics, not from what LA has shared with us anyway. Second bold.... why would it affect her ability to get other rides????? Jeez Katie. Space Ritual spelled that out. Ethnicity was an issue in their relationship. Never mind, that is only for L to say. Anyway L, I wouldn't but chemistry is impossible to explain in text. If you decide to, I hope you have fun and you have a good head on your shoulders so I will shut up. 1
Author losangelena Posted December 18, 2015 Author Posted December 18, 2015 I would inquire a bit more as to what aspect of modernity he is keenest to experience. It may be primarily sexual, and he's hoping you'll be freer in this regard than Jordanian women. As a guess. To those who say there is no risk in accepting one date: In general, that is NOT true. I would be very careful even in accepting a date. Some men from certain cultures and/or mindsets develop an irrational yet strong sense of ownership as quickly as after one date. Unless I was quite sure he wouldn't become a pest regardless of outcome, I wouldn't accept a date. YMMV. In his words, he said he found it easy to meet women to date, but hard to meet one he'd actually like to settle down with. If he married a Jordanian woman, he would be expected to do all the work and everything for the home as well (shopping, etc), and that's why he wants a more equal partner. I don't know anything about Jordanian culture so I don't know how accurate that is, but it didn't come off as "he thinks western women are easier," though I did have that thought as well. I get that mindset, though. My ex always said that as long as he's in America, he wants to have "an American experience," and American dating culture goes along with that. He said a lot of Indians come here and just want to recreate the lifestyle they had back home, which he eschews. Of course less conservative sexual mores are part of that, though, that's not such a strange notion. If I grew up in a repressed society, America would feel like some kind of sexual smorgasbord. I do feel ready to get back in the saddle. I've noticed that I've been getting more male attention in the last few weeks. I don't say that in a braggarty way, it's just that I normally get very little of it (I'm not being down on myself; I think I'm pretty fab, but I usually have an invisible forcefield around me that deflects male attention). Hell, the other day at the airport, I was just sitting there, lost in thought, and all of a sudden the face of this (rather handsome) male construction worker came into focus and he was smiling at me. I smiled back, amused, but in my mind I was like, "what, why?" I don't know if it's that I've grown my hair out quite long (man kryptonite, lol) or what, but something is different, the energy is different. At a party last week, one of my (taken) guy friends was like, "I have not seen you look so happy in a long time, it's like you're glowing." Part of me was like, "it's probably the highlighter I'm wearing," but his comment did make me wonder. I've been feeling so crap lately that it's interesting to hear an outside perspective, like maybe the unconscious burden of being in an unsatisfying relationship is finally lifting or something. Anyway, thanks everyone for the thoughtful feedback. I am leaning more towards "no" with my Uber driver, though I've still got his card, so if I change my mind, I can always reach out.
loveweary11 Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 Definitely a one star rating! I expect uber drivers to be more respectful of their position/clients. 2
mavis_6 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 I get a bad vibe from your comments about him. I have a feeling you shouldn't go out with this one. Just my feeling. ^^I feel the same way for some reason. And I agree with others who said you should trust your gut. From your comments you seem like a really intelligent, caring person and TBH I think you can do better than this guy.
loveflower Posted December 23, 2015 Posted December 23, 2015 first time used uber today. got more than my money worth. 11km, $14.9 , 13 mins on my way back, I took bus: $3.50, > 1 hour yup, in this god damn city, the god damn buses take 10 times longer. I felt so so sick in that those jam packed buses. I would rather bike in the rain or snow than take city buses. and the bus drivers are rude, they don't open the door for you if you are one step late. hell, probably the most well spent 10 dollar I have ever had.
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