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Language barrier when dating


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Posted

I'm seeing a Spanish girl who has been living in the country just under two years. We've been on a few dates and she's invited me over where we've kissed, cuddled, etc.

 

She seems more serious about being together, than regular english girls I've previously been with like less banter, more talking. We seem to act like a couple, but we haven't spoken about it.

 

She agrees to dates and initiates contact 80% of the time, most days I don't get chance to initiate myself and we're set to meet again this Sunday.

 

My only problem is the language barrier when we text. Sometimes when I'm teasing her or joking around, she will not understand the word and ask what it means. I don't usually like having text conversations, but she always starts them and asks how my day is/how I am.

 

For example, our most recent conversation was:

 

[3am]Girl - Just finished work and got home!! Haha

Girl - I'm so glad your dad is at home!

[9am]Me - You're such a tease..

Girl - Tease?

Girl - What do you mean with that?

Me - Will tell you when I see you next. I'll teach you all these new words!

Girls -Nonono what do you mean? Cause i've been looking in google and OMG!

Me - I meant teasing when you finished work, as I was up early and i'd rather be asleep in bed ;)

Girl - Ok hahah thanks

 

Did her last reply seem bad? I didn't reply because it looked like it didn't need one.

 

I'm just worried she might have searched it and got the wrong meaning of what I meant with the "OMG!". I guess time will tell if she initiates or still continues to see me.

Posted

Learn the language.

  • Like 1
Posted

Like all languages, Spanish has many words with double meaning, so the concept can't be foreign to her. And for what it's worth, when you google the word tease, the first hit is the dictionary definition. So who knows what her OMG meant?

 

Don't worry too much. Get a better handle on her language proficiency, and try to stay within her linguistic comfort zone when you text. Don't use words she doesn't know and that can be misinterpreted.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
Like all languages, Spanish has many words with double meaning, so the concept can't be foreign to her. And for what it's worth, when you google the word tease, the first hit is the dictionary definition. So who knows what her OMG meant?

 

Don't worry too much. Get a better handle on her language proficiency, and try to stay within her linguistic comfort zone when you text. Don't use words she doesn't know and that can be misinterpreted.

 

I try to keep it simple, I thought "tease" was :laugh: She could have meant omg like not being able to understand I guess. I've been shocked the both times she's called me babe though, didn't think it was an english word she'd use either.

 

Should I not be worried she put "ok hahah thanks" or just brush it off and see if she initiates in the future?

Edited by fmfan08
Posted

Also humor differs from country to country. I've dated girls from other countries, it's definitely different than dating someone who grew up in the same place you did.

  • Author
Posted
Also humor differs from country to country. I've dated girls from other countries, it's definitely different than dating someone who grew up in the same place you did.

 

It's a challenge I like. My problem is that I prefer to text to set up a date, not conversational purposes, but she lights up my phone most days and I don't want to risk becoming a text buddy.

Posted

Talk more on the phone and spend more time in person. The rest of the stuff works itself out.

 

I learned some marked lessons in the language thing when one lady I dated and later had a relationship with spoke, at least in the beginning, next to zero English and my Russian was good enough to get me thrown in jail. We communicated a lot by body language, touch, tone of voice and were patient. TBH, it opened my eyes to new ways of communicating and was a time I'll never forget.

 

IMO, the learning the language advice is sound. It shows commitment to the interaction and, as appropriate, relationship.

Posted

Where is she from? As my Spanish prof once told me, no better excuse to learn a language than to fall in love ;) It definitely helped me improve my ability and draw closer to individuals. Colloquial Spanish can vary across regions (Iberian v. Latin American) and between countries (Spain, Mexico, Colombia, Ecuador, etc) so take that into consideration. If you're serious about her, showing an interest in the language is imperative—especially because you all won't be impeded by language barrier.

Posted

you might want to look into "conversation exchange" online, so you can get help with learning Spanish or whatever language you're trying to speak.

 

One thing I've been doing with learning French is to like and follow a bunch of French pages on Facebook so that I can learn how colloquial language is used by native speakers. Duolingo only goes so far and one learns far more by reading native speakers' posts.

Posted

I have been speaking English for 25 years and I STILL miss some meaning in the English language. As someone who's learning a second language she is aware words have double meanings and some expressions are funny in English and not at all in her native language. You worry for nothing.

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