Curiouswander Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Ive posted on here many times before but i still havent been able to decide what to do i have hope that things will turn around but the more i see i start to lose it all. Me and my ex had always had problems with me opening up emotionally to her i wasnt a bad boyfriend or anything i always assumed that she knew by the way i treated her she would know that i did love her even though i didnt blow up her phone with corny lines. I loved the relationship with her we had a couple troubles but we always seemed to get through them the relationship it self lasted a little over two years. Around the end of May i started to have doubts about us she said she wanted to change them and keep trying and so did i the problem was i started acting out towards her and pushed her away in my mind i thought that maybe there was something better out there that would be better than this relationship. I know its wrong to think like that but after months of routine i felt bored i saw my friends having all these girls and idk i used to be so self confident before her and i didnt feel like myself so after basically not trying i decided to break up with her. At the beginning of september i broke up with her and told her for us to be friends. She agreed and it still felt like we were together during this time i started talking to a couple people and she did not she begged me to take her back and we had casual sex here and there. I soon noticed that what i though i wanted wasnt what i wanted either. Before i could even react my ex posts a picture of a guy on snapchat. This guy had been trying to win her over for months and to the point were she told me a crazy guy keeps telling her shes the one for him. I lost it but i didnt tell her a thing until we talked in person. i grabbed her arm and she pulled away and was extremely defensive I asked her what was up with that guy and she said she wanted for us to stop seeing eachother and for me to leave her alone. She explained that this guy made her feel things i didnt but she had only spoken to the guy for a week i did some stalking and was sure about that. She then told me she didnt love me and although she cared for me it was to late to fix anything i couldnt even get a second chance. I left with that but saw her a couple days later. i told her how immature i was being and to forgive me for one last chance she refused and told me that he did everything i hadnt done already, like let her meet my parents and bring her flowers and roses stuff like that. She then said that he had gotten in an accident and the first person he called was her she said it was meant to be and that god had put him in her life for her to support so she couldnt talk or see me again. Again i was at a loss for words the girl who stuck with me through everything the one i picked up when she was down found someone else and left me there. I know it seems pointless to keep hope after that trust me all my friends have told me. But i dont get it as of now she claims she is in love all over her social media were not friends but i have friends who have showed me. There saying i love you everywhere and shes doing things that dont even seem like her at all. I dont know why i have hope that this is a rebound i really want to believe that it is since it progressed so fast but i really dont know. Everyone on her has been so helpful in the past and ive taken the advice of everyone and tried to move on ive been with other girls i work out i stay busy i go with friends andi even talk to some girls although i really am not interested but the fact of the matter is i wake and fall asleep with her on my mind. its been almost three months shes been with this guy and about one since ive talked to my ex. Idk how to give up all this hope i even turned to my religion to ease my pain and calm my thoughts but nothing works how can i find out how shes actually feeling is she confused or is she really in love and last but not least how do i know when to give up complete hope? will she ever come back. The only feeling i get is regret even though i try not to i know if i had one more shot at it id make it work i just dont know what im doing please help the more words and responses will help...
d0nnivain Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 Your relationship was on life support for a while but change is a stark reality. You really don't want her back. You are just lonely & you are a bit shocked that she moved on. Let her go. Concentrate on your own healing & move forward in your life. Onward & upward.
greatsauce1 Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 Your relationship was on life support for a while but change is a stark reality. You really don't want her back. You are just lonely & you are a bit shocked that she moved on. Let her go. Concentrate on your own healing & move forward in your life. Onward & upward. I can approve of this. I was dumped myself after a 3 year relationship pretty recently, and while in the relationship you could say I've burned some bridges over the years. I myself didnt really want to be in the relationship after a while, and i got complacent with the comfort of always having her, and always treated her good and with respect etc but I knew something wasnt right. However I've felt like I've been missing her a lot after the breakup and it's tempting to contact, but I realise that I'm just being lonely because I dont have that same emotional connection with someone else as of now, but she definately is replaceable, it can just be hard sometimes to get back on that horse and start seeing new people because you will be vulnerable for some time, and that's ok, take your time. It's ok to be sad and lonely at times, no big deal, you'll have good days too that will make things easier. I know everyone is saying this but i'll reiterate it, it just takes time man, be patient and like this guy said, try to focus on yourself and your own healing. Block her on everything because seeing her "having a good time" or pretending to be, and possibly with other guys can really screw with your head so do yourself a favour on that one. It helps to talk about things, the community is here for you
ExpatInItaly Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 Your relationship was on life support for a while but change is a stark reality. You really don't want her back. You are just lonely & you are a bit shocked that she moved on. Let her go. Concentrate on your own healing & move forward in your life. Onward & upward. Sound advice here, OP. Ask your friends to not show you or otherwise share with you what she does on social media. Remind yourself of the reasons you broke up with her. I'm sure you had valid reasons for doing so. You are naturally feeling some sting, but keep in mind this is what you chose. And that choice likely didn't come out of haste. Don't make it a mission to find out if she's really in love. That will only hurt you and be detrimental to your healing. I'd say if she's been with him for three months, it's best you give up hope now. Anything is possible, of course, but it sounds like she is happy and moving on. Also, don't force yourself to go out with other girls just yet. If you're not ready for it at the moment, it's fine. You will be.
mightycpa Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 Yes, you're just reeling from all the sudden change. It isn't easy to look up one day and see that the sky is actually green. You're not inclined to actually believe it at first, you'll naturally think that something is wrong. You need time to soak it all in. Perfectly normal.
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