GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I'm back. New username, same problems. When on a first date the other day and it went better than I could have imagined. No awkwardness, lots of laughter, flirting and generally we just both had a fun time. I kept catching her gazing into my eyes with a big smile on her face and then she'd look away giggling. We made out a few times during the date and then a long make out at the end of the date. She even stayed after her last transport home when I offered to give her a lift if she wanted to stay out longer. Great, I thought. But now she seems to have gone rather quiet on me. What the hell is going on? I could understand if she wasn't into me but surely her behaviour during the date was a pretty sound indicator of her interest, no? Women are as confusing as ever it seems. This is definitely becoming a recurring theme.
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 You messaged her that you had a great time? There is always a possibility that she is married or has a BF.
Author GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 Yep, did that. We exchanged a couple of messages but now silence for 24 hours. I'm not one to make small talk and text a lot and neither is she I think. I'd rather use the phone to arrange a date. I've no reason to believe she is in a relationship. She could be though, I guess.
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 There is nothing wrong with no contact for a couple of days. You just went on one date...that doesn't constitute a commitment to have continuous daily communication.
Author GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 I agree and I actually quite like not texting daily. But if I asked a question and someone takes days to reply or doesn't reply at all it doesn't bode well for me.
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Women are as confusing as ever it seems. This is definitely becoming a recurring theme. I'm not one to make small talk and text a lot Maybe the in between conversations you have are not keeping up with the feel of your date and is turning them off.
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Patience is a virtue. It's only been 24 hours. Calm down. It's also the holidays. Despite the kisses you are still a relative stranger. If she's like most people, she's being pulled in multiple directions. Call her -- use the voice feature of the phone & set up another date. Stop worrying about trivial stuff like how often she texts you. 1
Author GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 Maybe the in between conversations you have are not keeping up with the feel of your date and is turning them off. But should that really be enough to lose all interest? I assumed after our date that a second date was definely on the cards, how could it not be!
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 So you asked her for another date? like called her?
Author GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 So you asked her for another date? like called her? Yep, tried to get her out but she couldn't and she suggested possibly Monday next week if she is free. That in itself doesn't fill me with confidence.
Diezel Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Try for Monday, if not, just delete her number. Be done with it.
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Yep, tried to get her out but she couldn't and she suggested possibly Monday next week if she is free. That in itself doesn't fill me with confidence. This is the worst time of year to date someone. People are so busy with the holiday season with shopping, dinners, visiting family, etc. It's too difficult to expect people to be available.
TheTraveler Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I'm back. New username, same problems. When on a first date the other day and it went better than I could have imagined. No awkwardness, lots of laughter, flirting and generally we just both had a fun time. I kept catching her gazing into my eyes with a big smile on her face and then she'd look away giggling. We made out a few times during the date and then a long make out at the end of the date. She even stayed after her last transport home when I offered to give her a lift if she wanted to stay out longer. Great, I thought. But now she seems to have gone rather quiet on me. What the hell is going on? I could understand if she wasn't into me but surely her behaviour during the date was a pretty sound indicator of her interest, no? Women are as confusing as ever it seems. This is definitely becoming a recurring theme. When the date was over. What have you done in regards to text/email/phone calls?
TheTraveler Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Try for Monday, if not, just delete her number. Be done with it. No, don't do this. It's a busy time of the year and you only went on one date. What worries me about you OP is that you're freaking out 24 hours in. 2
Author GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 I can understand being busy this time of year, that's true. I'm confused because there is so much conflicting information about what to do between dates. Some say keep contact down to a minimum and only use the phone to plan dates. I'd tend to agree with this. In the past I blew things by texting too much and I think that removes a lot of the excitement and mystery of meeting in person. I think it's best to touch base every so often, get a date sorted and then enjoy being with your date in person. I'll try and get Monday sorted closer to the date (if it's happening that is). I'm so used to being ghosted by girls that I almost expect it now which is why I'm thinking (possibly overthinking) about it now. It always seems to follow the same familiar path and this is no exception so far.
truth_seeker Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 It possible all that making out has caused her to be distant? Women sometimes need that intimacy at that specific moment. You gave it to her. Now she's fine and could do with out you until she needs that intimacy again. Just a possibility. It could be the holidays like everyone else is suggesting.
Author GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 I guess I'll wait it out and see when/if she replies. There must be attraction there on her part though surely? I don't understand how that can just seemingly vanish...
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 You need to let go. if anything you should be out having other dates with other women.
GemmaUK Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Do what I do. I ask about texting and what expectations are. Makes life a lot more simple.
Author GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 Do what I do. I ask about texting and what expectations are. Makes life a lot more simple. That's not a bad idea. She did mention that she isn't into small talk and pointless texting. Nor am I but it's hard to touch base from time to time without small talk.
insert_name Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 From a guy's point of view I have learnt from very bitter experience that what happens on the date with a woman is almost immaterial. So many times you will come away thinking it went really well and so did she and then you never hear from them again which is why I think the amount of text contact between dates and the time taken to reply is significant because it shows you how often you are in her thoughts when you aren't around. She might say shes not a great texter to you but you can bet she is on whatsapp when she is not on a date with you texting the **** out of whoever. You have to (unfortunately) keep an open mind and be prepared for her to disappear at the drop of a hat and be okay with it. Text her once to say you had a great time and want to arrange another date and then leave it at that, if she replies she replies, if she doesn't don't chase because its unlikely to work. It may work in the very short term to get things going again for a short while, but it won't change the fact that you had to prod her to want to take an interest in you and very rarely do you hear stories about successful relationships where the guy had to keep letting the girl know he was there in the early stages. Far better to begin the process of moving on nice and early. 1
Leucine Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 This is the worst time of the year. I am in a very similar situation with a girl right now, and it sucks but you have to give it time and try to focus on other things, then contact her without appearing clingy. She will either come around or you will find someone more reliable.
SwordofFlame Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 From a guy's point of view I have learnt from very bitter experience that what happens on the date with a woman is almost immaterial. So many times you will come away thinking it went really well and so did she and then you never hear from them again which is why I think the amount of text contact between dates and the time taken to reply is significant because it shows you how often you are in her thoughts when you aren't around. She might say shes not a great texter to you but you can bet she is on whatsapp when she is not on a date with you texting the **** out of whoever. You have to (unfortunately) keep an open mind and be prepared for her to disappear at the drop of a hat and be okay with it. Text her once to say you had a great time and want to arrange another date and then leave it at that, if she replies she replies, if she doesn't don't chase because its unlikely to work. It may work in the very short term to get things going again for a short while, but it won't change the fact that you had to prod her to want to take an interest in you and very rarely do you hear stories about successful relationships where the guy had to keep letting the girl know he was there in the early stages. Far better to begin the process of moving on nice and early. I've found the same thing to be true in my online dating experiences. Sometimes the date will go well and she seems like a nice person, but she may still only view you as a friend and nothing more.
Author GR4 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 Thanks for the replies. On reflection, although it probably isn't a great sign, it has only been a day, I know she's busy up until Christmas and it could be a whole host of reasons. I'll give it until the weekend and if I've still not heard anything I might just be blunt and ask her out one last time. I'll either get a reply or not. Either way I'll get my answer.
smackie9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 wow relax....if you don't hear from her wait til after Christmas to contact her. Like I said keep asking women out. Never invest so much over one date. 1
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