sgsoccrstud9 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Hey guys. I recently got out of my first serious relationship. It was 4 years with a beautiful woman. I'm currently 24 years old. Her reason was she didn't feel the same anymore and we've transformed to more of a friendship. It's been 3 months since, and I still feel heartbroken. It seems like I love her more than I did when we were dating. I constantly think about her, literally every 5 minutes. Whether it be her with another guy, her having sex with someone new, old pictures of us, old memories, and much more. It seems like something new comes everyday. I've reached out to her and she's made it clear we're not getting back together. I can't concentrate on work and it feels like I'll never move on. I try and convince myself to stop thinking about her, but it just keeps coming back. I dream about her usually every night. Is this normal? What should I do? Thank you.
Cappycorny Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 (edited) Don't know if I can be of much help im New here too and heartbroken for needing to end something that's probably not good for me. Thinking of past break ups, I don't think 3 months is to long to be feeling the way you are. Sometimes it's takes a long while to get past stuff. Matters of the heart are never easy. Edited December 16, 2015 by Cappycorny
Thatmixedotaku Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 It is normal...you were deep in love and it takes time to get out of it . Give yourself time,wounds heal eventually. Don't get back into talking to her because you will backslide . Just heal for now bro. I am in a similar situation . We just need time .
Author sgsoccrstud9 Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 How do you deal with the constant thoughts of her? That's the worst for me.
Cappycorny Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 How do you deal with the constant thoughts of her? That's the worst for me. In my situation it's constant thoughts of him. And I know what you mean. I'm trying to keep busy and not think about the intimate stuff because that drives me nuts. We had been meeting for the past 5 months with the exception of about a month abd just exchanging messssges and a phone call here abd there. Keep busy. I know how you feel.
DontBreakEven Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Yes, it's normal. Typically for me when I was deep in love at the end, I have those feelings for a good 6 months, pull court press. Then they slowly start to dissapate.
mightycpa Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 You need to start by getting down to the why of it. Why do you love this woman? Is it her looks? Some characteristic? Even if you can identify that, there must be a deeper reason... how do you see a future with her? Are you sure you want that? Why do you want it? What if she doesn't want it? Do you want it then? Examine it to death, and the answers will come. Don't forget to grieve for the end of the relationship too. You need to do that. Don't try to ignore it, or pretend you don't feel bad.
greatsauce1 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I've been through this, more times than what i'd like (and sort of currently still am) but what's my experience so far is that, you eventually ALWAYS end up ok, after some time, and then you'll find someone new and have even stronger feelings for them. It just sucks right now but it will get better man, and if you have to think about her so much I'm sure there is something slightly negative about her to think about too, yes? Take care of yourself, learn to love yourself again the way you did before you met her, happily single(i assume), give it some time. Pain makes you stronger and remember it's always the darkest before dawn. You'll be ok bro
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