pteromom Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 (edited) This is attention-seeking stuff. You are perfectly within your rights to say you aren't comfortable with her sharing a pic like that with the world, and that when she wants to feel sexy, to send a pic to YOU! Edited December 17, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
lolablue17 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 There is nothing wrong with her behavior, in my opinion. The only thing that might be wrong is if she sends those photos to other guys without you knowing about it. In that case the lying is the problem. Though it's Ok on her side, it doesn't mean you have to like it. If it disturbs you, you are free to go, just don't try to change her. It will not work. 1
Author GirusX Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 Nope not true. Every woman likes to feel beautiful and sexy. Taking a photo where you look beautiful and sexy makes you feel....beautiful and sexy! Look how many women post their duck lip and cleavage selfies. They feel hot - and they want to feel that way! It is entirely possible that she is taking the pics for herself. Instead of accusing her of sharing them, say "Wow, these are hot pics. Would you like for me to do a photo session for you? Maybe WITH you? " Yeah that's what I was thinking.. I still feel uncomfortable about some of the pics. Like esp that one that I posted. I mean I understand the desire to show off your beautiful body. Just like models. I'm surprised she doesn't send me these pictures more though. Like how many other pictures does she have that I haven't seen. I think the nude thing bothered me the most.
pteromom Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 ...and... when she does send you a sexy pic, gush over it and let her know you appreciate it! I disagree that only narcissists take pics of themselves for themselves. When I was in my 20s, I did it all the time. We didn't have digital cameras back then, so I didn't take provocative pics (would have had to take them somewhere to develop them! haha). But would I have if I could have done it without anyone else seeing? Possibly so. And I am not a narcissist and do not have low self-esteem. I just like to feel beautiful. 1
pteromom Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Yeah that's what I was thinking.. I still feel uncomfortable about some of the pics. Like esp that one that I posted. I mean I understand the desire to show off your beautiful body. Just like models. I'm surprised she doesn't send me these pictures more though. Like how many other pictures does she have that I haven't seen. I think the nude thing bothered me the most. Have you asked her to send you pics?
Author GirusX Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 There is nothing wrong with her behavior, in my opinion. The only thing that might be wrong is if she sends those photos to other guys without you knowing about it. In that case the lying is the problem. Though it's Ok on her side, it doesn't mean you have to like it. If it disturbs you, you are free to go, just don't try to change her. It will not work. Yeah exactly. I can't really prove that she's lying though. And I can try to say something to her about it. See how she reacts. It's OK to tell your partner that something bothers you. They might not realize and actually do something about it. Who knows. But I don't even know how to talk to her about it and where exactly I would draw the line. Like is it OK to show nipples? I don't know. In Canada it's perfectly legal to walk down the street topless. Does that mean it's fine? What is considered inappropriate? I DON'T EVEN KNOW! =\
pteromom Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 What is considered inappropriate? I DON'T EVEN KNOW! =\ The only thing that matters is what is inappropriate to YOU and to HER... because you are the ones in this relationship. Doesn't matter at all what the rest of the world believes. When it comes to the pics she takes of herself, as long as it truly is for HER and she isn't sharing them, you really should just try to accept it. It's kinda like masturbation - it belongs to the individual who is doing it. It's part of the relationship with yourself, and nobody should try to tell you what you can and can't do with yourself. But when it comes to sharing them with other people, this is where you DO have a right to an opinion. You should definitely talk about the pictures on Facebook. Ask her why she shares them there. Try to LISTEN and LEARN and not be accusatory. Share how it makes you feel - again, without being accusatory. Ask her if she would consider sending you sexy pics instead when she feels pretty and wants to share. Be kind and sweet and give her the validation she seems to be seeking. This could actually go very very well for you if you approach it in the right way.
katiegrl Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 (edited) How is this a selfie? I don't see that she is holding any camera/phone.... her hands are by her side. Someone else took it. Edited December 17, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 4
Author GirusX Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 How is this a selfie? I don't see that she is holding any camera/phone.... her hands are by her side. Someone else took it. You can put the cam on timer. 2
katiegrl Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 You can put the cam on timer. Oh okay.... 1
Space Ritual Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 OP, Just like the millions of other girls who do this or the guys who post pics of their abs on FB , they are a dime a dozen. And your girl is no different. People do it the same reason they post statuses about what they are doing or feeling in FB. To get attention and to convince everyone else that will give them a second of their time to look that they less mundane and boring than they really are. Social Media is a Lobotomy Circus. Every guy wants to flex his muscles and every chick wants to show off a poorly drawn tattoo. It's cliche now. It's all an attempt to convince themselves they are not boring. Its really quite simple actually. Since you are not comfortable with it, either you accept it or dump her. Because she is not going to stop just because you want her to. So if you can live with it, fine, if you can't get rid of her. BTW..she isn't all that impressive. Anyone can look like a broke down stripper farting on a coffee table. And you can tell her I said that. 5
Author GirusX Posted December 16, 2015 Author Posted December 16, 2015 The only thing that matters is what is inappropriate to YOU and to HER... because you are the ones in this relationship. Doesn't matter at all what the rest of the world believes. When it comes to the pics she takes of herself, as long as it truly is for HER and she isn't sharing them, you really should just try to accept it. It's kinda like masturbation - it belongs to the individual who is doing it. It's part of the relationship with yourself, and nobody should try to tell you what you can and can't do with yourself. But when it comes to sharing them with other people, this is where you DO have a right to an opinion. You should definitely talk about the pictures on Facebook. Ask her why she shares them there. Try to LISTEN and LEARN and not be accusatory. Share how it makes you feel - again, without being accusatory. Ask her if she would consider sending you sexy pics instead when she feels pretty and wants to share. Be kind and sweet and give her the validation she seems to be seeking. This could actually go very very well for you if you approach it in the right way. I really like this response. You do make very good points. I'm still trying to figure out what I find acceptable. But I do know that that picture for example made me feel a little uncomfortable. I'm just worried that when she asks me what I find appropriate, I wont know what to say. One thing I could do is ask her, if she would feel comfortable I took pictures of myself the same way how would she feel about it? She has sent me a couple pictures before, but they were kinda blurry and not even as sexy as that one I posted earlier. When she did send them, I made sure to make a big deal and show how much I liked it. I really do wish she would send me more. It bothers me that other people online see some of these pictures before even me. I also suggested doing a photoshoot, which she wants to do. I am a photographer as well which I forgot to mention. And I do know girls that love having their pictures taken. What they do with said pictures though is beyond my knowledge. I'm gonna try to bring it up this weekend maybe. I just need to make sure I know what I want exactly. 1
lolablue17 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 And I do know girls that love having their pictures taken. What they do with said pictures though is beyond my knowledge Just ask her "With whom do you share those photos?"
Natalie8 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 What you have to realize is that your gf is a h0ee I think it is not right to call someone else's gf a hoe. ( or anyone for that matter) There is no proof that she sends them to other people. I honestly dont know what to make of this situation but just because it never occured to me to take a close up of my p###y it doesnt mean that if other girls do it it must be for someone else. I am not into selfies or posting constant new photos on fb but i have friends who do it. Maybe they also take sexy ones. Either way, i think you need to sit down and talk
Versacehottie Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 OP, BTW..she isn't all that impressive. Anyone can look like a broke down stripper farting on a coffee table. And you can tell her I said that. Funniest thing I've read all day. Instagram modeling The number of people trying their hand at same amateur modeling embarrassing stuff is astounding. It does look quite stripper-esque. I hate over-controlling but as the boyfriend, and that this not her profession or how she makes her living at nor the type of stuff she was doing prior to you guys becoming bf/gf, I think you have a right to ask her "why the change in her behavior" and 'what her intentions" are with posting this publicly. If you don't like the answer or feel it's not truthful, time to walk. Well I probably would anyway (pretty rare to get multiple unsolicited d*ck pics) but do your due diligence. Good luck 3
jen1447 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I have many friends who have had boudoir sessions done for themselves. And to bring it full circle, I've actually done that w/my lady bits. And not for public distribution lol ....I just wanted a tasteful record of how she looked in her heyday for when I'm an old granny looking back fondly on my fast-lane youth. 1
Space Ritual Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 If I had a dime for every chick that posted a pic of themselves in a suggestive pose or a guy lifting his shirt to show his abs on FB I would own FB...lol. I feel bad for the OP because when he approaches this subject with his GF he is not going to like the answer he is going to get. It will not go anywhere near how he hopes and although she may agree to a photoshoot I am sure she will be more than happy to make sure she puts THAT up on FB or Instagram too...much to the delight of her fans and the chagrin of the OP....that idea will blow up in his face. The sad thing about Social media is that even negative attention is still attention that is desirable for most people because at least someone is taking the time to address them in their eyes...or undress them with their eyes as the case may be. That attention is a powerful thing. 2
GunslingerRoland Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 She is clearly sending these to other men. In fact how much do you know about her lifestyle? I wouldn't be surprised if she's a cam girl on the side or something. 1
katiegrl Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 If she's not lying, why then did she get defensive and change the subject when you wanted to discuss it? People who have nothing to hide or fear will discuss it with you...NOT change the subject or become defensive. You need to learn what the signs of a liar are. Becoming defensive and/or diverting the subject when you want to discuss are two of them.... 1
Gaeta Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I got a question OP. Aren't you embarassed that you 33YO girlfriend acts like a 14 yo in heat? Surely she is your friend on FB which means your family, friends and colleagues see this. How old are you? What is your dating goal ? 5
LostOnes05 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 OP don't end up in de Nile (play on words) like me, use you loveshack life jacket...haha. Know when to call a spade a spade and get outta there. Have you tried Google imaging these pictures to see if they are popping up on other websites? Such as those craigslist casual encounter ads. 2
pteromom Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 And to bring it full circle, I've actually done that w/my lady bits. And not for public distribution lol ....I just wanted a tasteful record of how she looked in her heyday for when I'm an old granny looking back fondly on my fast-lane youth. LOL! Nothing wrong with that. You can put it in a memory book for your grandchildren. :D 1
pteromom Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I really like this response. You do make very good points. I'm still trying to figure out what I find acceptable. But I do know that that picture for example made me feel a little uncomfortable. I'm just worried that when she asks me what I find appropriate, I wont know what to say. One thing I could do is ask her, if she would feel comfortable I took pictures of myself the same way how would she feel about it? She has sent me a couple pictures before, but they were kinda blurry and not even as sexy as that one I posted earlier. When she did send them, I made sure to make a big deal and show how much I liked it. I really do wish she would send me more. It bothers me that other people online see some of these pictures before even me. I also suggested doing a photoshoot, which she wants to do. I am a photographer as well which I forgot to mention. And I do know girls that love having their pictures taken. What they do with said pictures though is beyond my knowledge. I'm gonna try to bring it up this weekend maybe. I just need to make sure I know what I want exactly. Thank you. A photographer? Yes, she would probably love you making her feel beautiful. Go for it! You are smart to put a lot of thought into WHY you feel uncomfortable so you can articulate your feelings well. Keep thinking about that until you come to an answer. And it doesn't have to be in line with any of the other responses here. Your gf isn't a ho for wanting to feel sexy, and she isn't necessarily cheating or sharing the pics with guys. She isn't necessarily a narcissist or dealing with crippling self-esteem issues. YOU know her. The people here do not. So take all opinions with a grain of salt. 2
katiegrl Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Thank you. A photographer? Yes, she would probably love you making her feel beautiful. Go for it! You are smart to put a lot of thought into WHY you feel uncomfortable so you can articulate your feelings well. Keep thinking about that until you come to an answer. And it doesn't have to be in line with any of the other responses here. Your gf isn't a ho for wanting to feel sexy, and she isn't necessarily cheating or sharing the pics with guys. She isn't necessarily a narcissist or dealing with crippling self-esteem issues. YOU know her. The people here do not. So take all opinions with a grain of salt. Perhaps he feels uncomfortable because she was so evasive and dismissive when he attempted to discuss it. Becoming defensive and then changing the subject. Her reaction speaks volumes here, and it would be a huge mistake to ignore that.... If she had nothing to hide and it was all innocent....she would have happily explained that she took them for herself and to feel beautiful... she certainly would NOT have gotten defensive saying "do I need a reason"? Then changing the subject. Come on now.... 2
No_Go Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 (edited) Sorry but she's out of her mind. At 33???? And I call my BF immature but that is ... Out of this world. Is she employed?? I can imagine the reaction an employer / future employer checking her social network pages ... And if her affinity is towards modeling, photography or adult industry - based on the pic she needs a loooot of effort to meet standards. Sorry for being judgemental, just doesn't click in my mind how someone at 33 can think of spending time collecting "likes" on FB, even if I close my eyes for the nudity... Edited December 17, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
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