Eini Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 So, about 2 months ago I met this new girl in the social church group for youths I'm attending. I'm 21 and she is 16 (that's completely legal in my country). We established a great connection almost at once. It started when we both were lead singers on a church gathering, where I found she is attending the same singers school as I do. The next meeting after that she began tickling me and I her, and the flirting was on. There was a lot of physical flirting every time we met at the group gathering, which is once or twice a week. We gave each other nicknames pretty soon, which we use often. Last week she even wrote our two nicknames on my arm with hearts around (so cute!). This last weekend I texted her I could possibly come see her when she was going to sing on a Christmas concert with the singers school. To her surprise I actually did come to the concert and she was SO happy to see me (when she spotted me in the audience she looked to happily surprised and even had to tell her friend on the stage. I haven't complimented much about her except her singing voice, but I have been quite obviously flirting with her the whole time. Some friends we have in common have even shouted "Stop flirting you two!" with a smile. One sign that was concerning me quite a lot is that we have yet to hug each other properly. Only two teasing goodbye hugs. The first time we were almost alone, only me, her and her best friend who is a girl (who is actually quite obviously attracted to me). I stretched my arms out and said something like "come give me a hug!", she came running and just crashed into me and started boxing me in my stomach. Then her friend happily gave me a real hug. After that the girl said she would "do it for real this time" and did pretty much the same again. Followed by the girl going over to her friend giving her a tight hug while looking at me smiling. So much teasing! Now to the point! Yesterday we were both attending the last group meeting before Christmas. This time she surprisingly had a guy(at her age) with her. I assumed he was her boyfriend as they several times kissed each other. This broke my heart right on the spot. While sitting around the table socialising she openly complained about me being more silent than usual and not being myself. I couldn't tell her exactly why so I just raised my shoulders and said something like "I don't know". She complained a few more times afterwards. A bit later she began physically flirting with me again by ticking and touching me several time, and I just flirted back to satisfy her enough to not complain about me any more. When we were going to say goodbye, the girl, her boyfriend and her best friend started walking home. Since it was the last time before Christmas I had to shout "goodbye" to them. They turned and she wanted me to come over and just fist on fist- punch her goodbye. Then her friend wanted a hug from me and that she got. Then the girl asked if I wanted a hug from her too, while her boyfriend was standing right behind her. After some flirtatious talk I agreed and just before we hugged, her boyfriend said "No no!", but we did hug for real a second or two before she started beating me in the stomach again, not too hard. And so that is my story until now. I got so disappointed that she had a boyfriend. And after what I overheard they had only been together for about 2 weeks. So I'm confused and feeling a bit angry about her being so flirtatious and then suddenly out of nowhere comes her boyfriend being so clingy with her. What can I do? I have considered texting her something like "Hey, sorry. Didn't know you had a boyfriend. That's why I didn't feel like being how you are used to me being around you, in respect for your boyfriend. Is that why you just hit me when about to hug me?" I want to give her an answer to why I was not myself without directly telling her I thought we had something together. I don't think I want to reveal my intentions about a relationship.
BrocasHelm Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Better not say anything and just go on with your life. She's 16 man, even if it's legal in your place, yours is a big age difference, as you're an adult and she's still a teenager, and teenagers don't know what they want, so she's fooling around. Who knows, maybe that boyfriend has only been around for a few days and they'll break up in two weeks. Teens are like that. You, on the other hand, seem like you're more serious about your feelings for her, so you two have different expectations. I'd advise to go for a girl closer to your age. A five years age difference is not much, but when it's 16 and 21 it's two worlds apart, the way you see things and your levels of maturity are vastly different.
TheTraveler Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Better not say anything and just go on with your life. Agree. No texting, nothing. Go on with your life over the holidays and find someone else to flirt with/make a date.
d0nnivain Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 You can be the mature adult & be happy that this child found somebody her own age. Then you can go off & do the same. Even if it's legal in your country for a grown man to date a 16 year old child, that does not make it a good idea.
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