How to break up with emotionally vulnerable right after sex

[olyoun]

Alright I'll try and keep this short.

 

I've been dating a girl for 4 months, until recently we had no sex, oral or touching. She wanted to wait until at least 6 months. I'm physically attracted to her and like her as a person but I don't see us working out for the long term. She has a kid and it's more work than I want to deal with. It's hard to make plans and she is always tired. She has what some people call "baggage". She was raped in high school she is 23 now. She dated a guy for a few years and he randomly dumped her for another girl that he had been secretly talking to for a couple years. He said it was because there was no sexual intimacy.

 

Anyway, I told her how I was feeling and she got really upset. A couple days later she called me to come over and we had sex, we had never advanced past making out before. It wasn't good for her, it hurt and she couldn't get off and overall didn't enjoy it or really want it (looking back). I told her it was fine and the first time with a new partner is always rough. It felt good for me but wasn't the best sex ever. She said she'd try anything to make it better for me. The next day we had sex again, no change. Did it again a couple days later and she said it was good but it clearly wasn't. She just didn't want to be having sex, just wanted me to stay. And we had sex again tonight, condom broke which has never happened in my life and I've used plenty. I didn't notice until I pulled out after she said it felt weird when I came. Made me realize that I really don't want to be with her. She can't take plan b because she's allergic to one of the ingredients. Which I knew long before this happened.

 

I'm done. But I don't know how to properly end it without her thinking I used her for sex or a "f*ck n' chuck" as people around here say. I left right after sex tonight, but she wanted me to stay and was upset.

Edited December 16, 2015 by olyoun

[MidwestUSA]

Why did you go ahead and have sex when you saw no future with her? Did you think getting laid would make everything else better?

 

Of course she'll view you as a pump and dump.

 

First you had sex when she was upset and vulnerable, now you're going to dump her while she's in the same condition. I hope she feels relieved, I really do. Smh.

[Ami1uwant]

You are going yo get blasted on here.

 

You shouldn't have had sex with her.

 

She was anti sex , likely from the sexual assult she went through. She had sex because she didn't want to lose you. Now you breaking up with her basically says to her she wasn't good with sex ehich will affect her even further in not having sex again.

[olyoun]

Why did you go ahead and have sex when you saw no future with her? Did you think getting laid would make everything else better?

 

Of course she'll view you as a pump and dump.

 

First you had sex when she was upset and vulnerable, now you're going to dump her while she's in the same condition. I hope she feels relieved, I really do. Smh.

 

I didn't know it was going to happen when I went over the first time. She initiated it hard and part of me was just thinking with my lower head, the other part thought maybe I'd feel more strongly of being with her. The other times I thought it would get better or she'd get into it but obviously not. When sex is involved I don't always make the best judgement calls, clearly.

 

I don't want her to view me that way. That wasn't the intention. Maybe I should wait it out longer and try to cut off sex.

 

You are going yo get blasted on here.

 

You shouldn't have had sex with her.

 

She was anti sex , likely from the sexual assult she went through. She had sex because she didn't want to lose you. Now you breaking up with her basically says to her she wasn't good with sex ehich will affect her even further in not having sex again.

 

So I tell her the sex was good... I'm aware I shouldn't of had sex with her. But I didn't realize that until after it was already done a few times.

Edited December 16, 2015 by olyoun