lunaleone17 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 How do I keep up the No Contact Rule? Does that get an ex boyfriend back? Does anyone have any steps on how I can keep this up? Advice would be great, it sucks not talking to him. This was my first long term/serious relationship. Can someone help me?
Chronotrgr Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 No contact is what it says on the tin, no contact, in my experience it isn't all that successful as a tactic to win back an ex, no contact is more of a safeguard to protect you and help you move on from the breakup, as for help maintaining it, you need willpower, and a lot of it, your ex might come back if he's given the chance to miss you but he might not, it's down to you to determine whether or not to fight or to let things lay as they are
cupcakebunny Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 You delete their number in your phone and add it to the blocker - so you won't get any calls. You do this for your text messages as well. Take all the emails that you've gotten over the years and delete or if there is something that you may want to save for later - like pictures print them out and put them in a box and delete them OR put them in a separate folder that you don't go to. Have his email address sent to a spam/delete folder. You never take their calls You never text them back You don't slyly reach out to your mutual friends and ask how the ex is -- you need to COMPLETELY detox from them and you would be using your friends as a means of communicating and checking in If they will be at a party with mutual friends, you don't go. Talk to your friends about possibly working out a schedule -- this can be difficult. And you may need to spend more time with friends that don't have a relationship with your ex. Any gifts you have either give them away or if you don't want to do that as you feel confident you can "reclaim" the memory later then box them up and put them in the back of the closet or give them to a friend. If you need to exchange property I recommend giving it to a friend to deal with and ask them to get back any items from your ex. This way you can avoid all contact. If that's not possible - send a terse and sanitized email that you will leave it somewhere neutral where you don't have contact i.e. apt. security. To keep it up: It's hard and it will hurt. Anytime you feel the need to contact your ex you should call a friend, go workout - do anything to get your mind off of it. In time the need will lessen. Now, will it get them back: Unlikely. That's not the point. The point of no contact is to help you and your ex heal from the relationship. To learn yourself and move forward. Likely by the end of it, you won't want to see them that much. If your goal is to get them back you should really do this for yourself first and if in about 1 year of NC you feel ready to talk about it, you can try to reconcile with a clean slate. However, most of the time, most people realize that the relationship ended for a good reason and there is no need to return.
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