io2iio Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Iam 32, she is 28. I have little experience with Long term relationships. I have been dating her for about 5 months. In the beginning everything was all luvy duvy. She would come to my place and i would go to her place and we would spend time together. I asked her to be my girl friend about a month ago and she agreed. Suddenly she has lacked interested in sex and her texting has become sporadic. She no longer puts an effort and the sex has gone from twice a week to once every 2 weeks. Is this a natural progression of relationships or is she backing off and showing less interest. Any thoughts ??
Redfisher Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Once every 2 weeks at 5 months??? no that's bad dude. Could be she just upped her game to get her hooks into you and now 2 times a month is her normal...I dunno.
Buddhist Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Once a fortnight is a pretty low level of intimacy in a relationship so new. If this isn't satisfying to you, let her know. If she's uninterested in being intimate more often then you might need to find a new girlfriend.
Gaeta Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Iam 32, she is 28. I have little experience with Long term relationships. I have been dating her for about 5 months. In the beginning everything was all luvy duvy. She would come to my place and i would go to her place and we would spend time together. I asked her to be my girl friend about a month ago and she agreed. Suddenly she has lacked interested in sex and her texting has become sporadic. She no longer puts an effort and the sex has gone from twice a week to once every 2 weeks. Is this a natural progression of relationships or is she backing off and showing less interest. Any thoughts ?? Is there anything going on in her life that would be over stressing her? You've only been dating 5 months maybe there are things you don't know about her like maybe she suffers from seasonal depression (we're December) maybe Xmas is over stressing her, about work? school? Why assume right away she is losing interest?
Space Ritual Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Iam 32, she is 28. I have little experience with Long term relationships. I have been dating her for about 5 months. In the beginning everything was all luvy duvy. She would come to my place and i would go to her place and we would spend time together. I asked her to be my girl friend about a month ago and she agreed. Suddenly she has lacked interested in sex and her texting has become sporadic. She no longer puts an effort and the sex has gone from twice a week to once every 2 weeks. Is this a natural progression of relationships or is she backing off and showing less interest. Any thoughts ?? It's called a relationship. When you two were just starting out you were going at it like bunnies because it was like the Love Boat...Exciting and New. Now she is a little more familiar with you, she smelled your burrito farts a few times and saw your skid marked drawers and the fact you don't always lift the seat when you pee so she is settling into relationship mode. She is getting comfortable with you. It's not always going to be unicorns and rainbows. Even at Five or 6 months. Don't sweat it unless she gets drunk at a Christmas party and disappears with one of your friends for an hour. 1
Versacehottie Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 To me, it sounds like she is having doubts. Sorry
Akashsingh Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 It's normal. Varies from couple to couple. She may not be that into you.
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I wouldn't really use the number of instances of sex as your barometer for whether or not she's into you, although it can be an indicator. There can be many reasons why she doesn't want sex as often but feels uncomfortable discussing with you. Maybe she's started a new birth control and is constantly bleeding, or perhaps she's got health problems, some kind of pain issue that causes problems during sex. What I would worry about is your gut feeling. From what you've said, she's pulling away, contacting you less frequently, that's not normal in such a new relationship. Four - six months is quite a key time in a relationship I've found from my experience and those of my friends, it tends to be the time for infatuation to wear off, and it's a risky time for either party to feel the shine wear off and get bored. You can feel it happening. Unless you're incredibly clingy and your version of her pulling away is that she's only texting you twenty times per day and seeing you four times per week rather than fifty messages and daily hangouts, I'd say follow your gut and prepare for the worst. Why not ask her outright? 'I notice you've been kinda distant lately, is there something I should know? If you're having second thoughts about us I'd rather know'. And see what she says. It could be that she's just crazy busy with her life or work but honestly I think in your gut you tend to know when things aren't going well. At about two months into my relationship I thought my boyfriend had lost interest, his texting went way down, and one day despite me messaging him in the morning, he didn't reply until the evening with just a one word kinda reply, not something I could really reply too. It might seem daft but in my gut I just felt like he was losing interest and I'd been feeling like that for a few days as his texting dwindled. I simply said to him outright if you think this isn't going anywhere it's totally fine, it's only been a few weeks, just tell me so we can both move on and he was horrified, said it was just that he wasn't used to having a girlfriend and wasn't used to kinda being in touch with someone every day and needed to get used to it again. He made more effort and everything was great, he started staying at mine every night about a month or two later and then we moved in officially at six months and have been happy together for the past two years. The only way you'll know for sure is to talk to her.
4blossoms Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 It sounds like one of two possibilities to me (1) she wanted to please you until she reached her goal--that you two are officially going "steady" and now that the two of you are official she has slacked off in effort. Or (2) she is mentally like a player and was in it for the thrill of the chase, but now that she's "caught" you the thrill is gone. The latter is more traditionally ascribed to men but we live in changing times and many women don't follow traditional patterns of behavior anymore. 2
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