Kpm1118 Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 (edited) My wife and I have been married for 18 years. This past year has been a little crazy to say the least. I developed a medical condition (seizures due to a car accident) which forced us to relocate back to our original state to be closer with family. My wife started a new job in the meantime which requires extensive travel. Upon moving back, my mother passed away and overall life has been stressful. There has never been any problems in our marriage and we have three wonderful soon-to-be teenagers. Anyway, through my wife's new job she has met a female co-worker who is divorced. The two have become very close friends. They travel quite a bit together. Recently, my wife has been very focused on this friendship and has scheduled her travel to coincide with her friend's schedule. I really didn't think anything of it at first. In fact, I was happy for her that she had a friend to travel with since I know it's not easy. However, due to my seizures I was left unable to drive and had to rely on other people to help with the kids when my wife was away. In fact, she began to schedule travel at the most inopportune time for me as there were several times I was left with no way to get the kids around to their activities. She did this to ensure she would be traveling with her friend. Again, it's not the biggest deal in the world but it did start to bug me a little. Now, the company has squashed travel for an extensive period due to budgetary reasons. So, there are constant calls, texts and emails going back and forth between the two now. Again, not all that bad but then I happened to read some of them. They are saying things like "I love you friend", "I miss you friend" , "I love you sister", "I can't wait to see you"......My wife has always been very open about saying I love you to her family and a few close friends she's had for life and it never bothered me before. But this is. My wife has started a new diet which was encouraged by this woman and followed the one this woman started. She has become forgetful of some routine household things she has always done, and I think (not sure) she has deleted some texts from this woman. I did try to recover them using a 3rd party app but only recovered portions that can'r say one way or another. Now, not being able to drive and all that for the past year has worn on me and stressed me out quite a bit. Am I being insecure about this relationship my wife has with this woman? Am I making it out to be more than it's not? At times I think I am. I have never doubted my wife's fidelity in the past. But when I read those texts and messages, I am uncomfortable with it and I have never been with any of her friends before. I can't fully explain why I am uncomfortable with it. I do know overall, my wife does seem different and much more dependent on this friendship than any other she has ever had. Edited December 15, 2015 by Kpm1118
pondhawk Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Have you ever met this "female" co-worker? If not tell her to invite her over for dinner. If you never met her, it is possible this is a male "friend" and things are inappropriate. I have close friends, but I would never put them in front of my family needs. I'm not saying she's cheating, but get this "friend" over to your house and observe.
Mr Mind of Shazam Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Ask to invite her good friend over to dinner, it's about time you met her. Continue from there.
Bufo Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 It is difficult many times to determine whether a female,relationship with another woman is an emotional affair or just a normal friendship. Sorry for stereotyping, but women do tend to tell everything to their best friends, hug and kiss each other, and keep the secrets of the other woman. Pond hawk has a brilliant idea. Affairs thrive in secrecy. Make this relationship not so secret. If your wife hems and haws, you'll have your answer for better or worse.
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