Emmarose1396 Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 It is a weird question I know - but I am trying to sort out what is going on. I have been friends with this guy for over 5 years and recently he told me he was interested in me. I am too - so I told him as well. Since we had this conversation he has kissed me many times and always wants to hold me and be close to me when we hang out. He was always telling me how pretty he thinks i am and how he loves spending time with me and is comfortable with me but wants to take things slow. He said since we have been friends for so long he doesn't want to ruin that by rushing things and I also recently came out of a relationship so he wants to make sure my feelings are genuine. He said how he things I am a gorgeous person inside and out and that is something that will make some guy happy forever - and maybe it could be him. His best friend told me he likes me. Others have told me he likes me. I want to believe that he does (especially because of how he has acted towards me) but he rarely gets back to me when I text and this past weekend when we hung out - he seemed a little stand offish and made comments to me about how I have my life together and that is something that is way beyond him (even though he does too). I don't know why he all of a sudden is ghosting me via text - especially since we have an established friendship. The only thing I can think is that he thinks I am out of his league becuase of those comments but even that I don't see as true. I don't know - what do you think? Is he being genuine? And why would he stop communicating? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Stop texting and call him or even better go see him in person. Talk to him. Reassure him, tell him what you posted here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Why would you think you are out of his league when he's already told you he thinks you're pretty? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emmarose1396 Posted December 15, 2015 Author Share Posted December 15, 2015 I guess I am just trying to figure out why all of a sudden someone I am friends with would all of a sudden not respond to my texts. And I do want to talk to him in person about it - tonight we are meeting up with a few people. I was thinking of trying to talk to him tonight but I am wondering if sending an e-mail about my feelings (nothing dramatic just right to the point) and then offering him to chat with me tonight about it if he wants may be the way to go. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
brokengirl85 Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 It is a weird question I know - but I am trying to sort out what is going on. I have been friends with this guy for over 5 years and recently he told me he was interested in me. I am too - so I told him as well. Since we had this conversation he has kissed me many times and always wants to hold me and be close to me when we hang out. He was always telling me how pretty he thinks i am and how he loves spending time with me and is comfortable with me but wants to take things slow. He said since we have been friends for so long he doesn't want to ruin that by rushing things and I also recently came out of a relationship so he wants to make sure my feelings are genuine. He said how he things I am a gorgeous person inside and out and that is something that will make some guy happy forever - and maybe it could be him. His best friend told me he likes me. Others have told me he likes me. I want to believe that he does (especially because of how he has acted towards me) but he rarely gets back to me when I text and this past weekend when we hung out - he seemed a little stand offish and made comments to me about how I have my life together and that is something that is way beyond him (even though he does too). I don't know why he all of a sudden is ghosting me via text - especially since we have an established friendship. The only thing I can think is that he thinks I am out of his league becuase of those comments but even that I don't see as true. I don't know - what do you think? Is he being genuine? And why would he stop communicating? He's just not into you, but he doesn't want to tell you because he's scared you'll get hurt. He's just told you excuses for not pursuing you. when a man is into you, he doesn't care about ruin friendships or being with someone out of their league. This guy is just not into you. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
brokengirl85 Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 I guess I am just trying to figure out why all of a sudden someone I am friends with would all of a sudden not respond to my texts. And I do want to talk to him in person about it - tonight we are meeting up with a few people. I was thinking of trying to talk to him tonight but I am wondering if sending an e-mail about my feelings (nothing dramatic just right to the point) and then offering him to chat with me tonight about it if he wants may be the way to go. Thoughts? My thoughts are stop being a doormat and move on. what else you need to understand he doesn't want or talk or see or date you? If you continue to insist, you'll only get more hurt. He was polite enough to tell you he's not interested, yet you continue to be deaf and blind. A man will never tell you he doesn't like you. they will tell you the excuses this guy told you. It's your job to figure this out and move on with dignity. I'm really, really sorry Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 He's lost interest. Maybe someone else came along? Who knows? Frankly it's irrelevant why he's not interested. The point is he no longer wants to date you and is using the classic, "it's not you, it's me" approach to fade off into the sunset. If someone won't date you, they don't want to date you. Recognize that and move on instead of trying to rationalize why you should continue trying. If you have to convince someone to date you, you're headed to Nowheresville with that person, even if you do somehow finagle a date. Stop wasting your time and energy on this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 The only thing I can think is that he thinks I am out of his league becuase of those comments but even that I don't see as true. I don't know - what do you think? Is he being genuine? And why would he stop communicating? I don't think it's that since you're already there, ready to commit if he is too. I think he's actually regretting coming out with it, because the fantasy and the reality are two entirely different things. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings or lose your friendships so he's slowing drawing back, pulling away hoping your expectations will die and things can return to where they were. I did exactly that with a friend that I had crushed on for years, finally he made a move, and yet in the moment it happened I was somehow disappointed and did not reciprocate. The reality of it kind of crushed my long held dream and I just wanted to keep things as they were. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 (edited) Why would you think you are out of his league when he's already told you he thinks you're pretty? I read her post as she thinks he's ghosting her.... because he believes he is out of her league? Like she's too beautiful and together for him or something....and he's intimidated. I could be wrong. Which IS a possibility if he has low self-esteem and doesn't think he's "good enough" for her.... or that she will eventually leave him for someone "better." Or he could have lost interest, since you reciprocated his interest....he may be one of those guys who like the "chase." Hard to know for sure though. Edited December 15, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Redfisher Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 My money is on another woman....But its not 100% so he's kinda keeping you in the picture... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eighty_nine Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 My money is on another woman....But its not 100% so he's kinda keeping you in the picture... Yes, this. Or he just wants a sexual relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 No emails, no text...TALK like Smackie said. It seems to be a lost art these days. People spend an hour texting in place of a 10 minute phone call. Link to post Share on other sites
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