mariacarnie Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 YTwo months ago, I started to realize I had developed feelings for my guy friend Jack. Jack and I have been friends for 10 years but I had just gotten out of a year long relationship so I didn't want to act on it or do anything to ruin our friendship so I kept it quiet. I also wanted to make sure that I wasn't seeking a rebound. A few weeks ago without my prompting, Jack expressed that he had developed feelings for me. He said they weren't out of control but could be if given enough air. He kissed me and we talked about how I felt. He told me he was nervous because he didn't want to be a rebound and couldn't understand why it took us so long to feel this way. He said it made him not trust the validity of these feelings. Up until a week ago however, whenever we hung out he would hold my hand or hold me and tell me how we fit together and how comfortable he was with me. He would show me with compliments and tell me how he needs to be with someone like me and how he hopes it is me. He said he hopes he isn't confusing me but he wants to be honest with me all the time. Since late last week, however, he suddenly was growing distant. He hasn't responded to my texts and while I am certain there is no other girl (his room mate and our mutual friend confirmed it) I am not sure what is going on. His room mate and I were chatting last night and he told me without my asking that he knows he likes me but we need to take it slow. What I don't understand is why he is suddenly being distant. Jack and I hung out this weekend and he was extremely nervous and shy - although he was kind to me he wasn't overly affectionate like he normally is. It would hurt a lot if he lost interest but right now he isn't even treating me like the friend that he has had for 10 years. Could i have done something wrong to scare him away? Why do guys do this and what does it mean?
Versacehottie Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 my guess without more details is that you've been taking it a bit too slow for him. I bet he feels he has already done the tentative period and that you should "know" by now. Needs more reassurance. The other possibility (but I doubt it since you've known each other for 10 years) is that he thinks dating you isn't living up to what he had in his head all this time. While I don't think that is the case, there are similar problems from dragging it out too long without giving the other person assurance that it is going to be "something". The romantic momentum can get lost. Good luck
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