Mjm1014 Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 My girlfriend (now ex) and I broke up a few days ago because I felt like her and I are on two different paths in life. I'm planning on moving for a job and she won't leave since she's close to her family, and we rarely ever saw eachother to begin with. We dated about 7 months, and instead of it turning into a "romantic" relationship I felt like we just connected as very good friends-no sexual chemistry what so ever. I think she's an amazing person, her family has been great to me, so I feel really bad about things. She took it fine when I broke up with her, but for the past few days she's been texting me that she's sad. I bought her a few things (before I decided to break up) that I can't return for Christmas and was thinking about still giving them to her and telling her that she still means a lot to me as a friend. I've been going back and forth with it though because I also feel like it's cruel after I broke up with her and it may give her false hope, but as a friend that really cares about her I want to give it to her. I realize that the whole "friends thing" won't work over time especially when she gets into the next relationship but I truly do value her as a friend and feel like she could use the gift (gift card for a massage). The holidays are right around the corner and was also thinking maybe it will help give her a little closure and we can be on better terms. Thoughts?
lollipopspot Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 I would give them to her, but probably not everyone will agree with me. I'm also friends with exes though, so I know it can be done.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Don't give her the gifts. It will confuse her and it's too soon after your break-up. Donate them to a charity instead.
Terry8889 Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 I have been dumped by someone who said I was such an amazing person blah blah blah and said he wanted to be my friend afterwards. The being friends thing didn't really work we always ended up having sex when "hanging out as friends" so over time we distance ourselves to the point we barely talked. He still initiates contact once in a while even though he is now married. Anyways, do not give her the gift, that will only give her hope unconsciously. Use it for yourself and do her a favor never contact her again. Trust me being friends will never work if she still has feelings for you.
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Don't give her the gifts. It is cruel and won't be well received. How will she appreciate them when all they'll remind her of is the man that broke her heart? If a guy dumped me then tried to give me gifts he'd get them shoved straight back into his arms and the door shut in his face! It's so rude. Donate them to a charity shop or gift them to someone else who'll appreciate them. 1
Hopeful30 Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 (edited) I was in the exact same situation. I gave my ex his gifts. They were sized for him and non refundable anyways. Even though we were no longer together I still wanted him to have his gifts. I didn't need to be there for him to enjoy them, and he did it felt nice Edited December 15, 2015 by Hopeful30
Standard-Fare Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Can you tell us what type of gifts they are? If it's anything with any kind of romantic or emotional significance - don't do it, that's too confusing. In general, though, it might be a bad idea either way. For example, say you were getting her a new TV. Every time she switches on that TV she has to think "My ex got me this." The only type of gift I feel like might pass muster would be a gift certificate or something with a short lifespan.
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