Seneya Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 He broke up with me two weeks ago. Since then it has been very hard for me to move on. No matter what I do I can't seem to forget him. Recently I have been chatting with an old friend and we flirt a bit. It's fun and harmless but I still love my ex a lot. So, I feel I'm betraying him and myself.
mightycpa Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 I'm curious to know if you feel like he's betrayed you by breaking up with you. Do you feel that too?
Author Seneya Posted December 15, 2015 Author Posted December 15, 2015 I'm curious to know if you feel like he's betrayed you by breaking up with you. Do you feel that too? You mean if he's cheating on me? I don't think he did but I can't believe in anything he says now. There's a long story behind this. But he has definitely hurt me for sure.
mightycpa Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 You mean if he's cheating on me? I don't think he did but I can't believe in anything he says now. There's a long story behind this. But he has definitely hurt me for sure.No. I mean, do you feel like he broke trust with you simply by breaking up? I don't want to know what you think, clearly, he has every right to move on without you. I want to know if you feel that same irrational sense of betrayal because he left you.
Author Seneya Posted December 15, 2015 Author Posted December 15, 2015 No. I mean, do you feel like he broke trust with you simply by breaking up? I don't want to know what you think, clearly, he has every right to move on without you. I want to know if you feel that same irrational sense of betrayal because he left you. Yup he broke my trust by breaking up with me. If you want I can tell you my story.
mightycpa Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 No, that's ok. While I don't know all of your particular details, who did what and why, and how everybody felt about it, I'm pretty familiar with the plotline. You're the one who got left behind. The reason I asked that is to get a sense of your mental state. Betrayal is one of the core emotions you feel right after a breakup. It takes a while for that to go away, and what you first described can take even longer. So, first of all, your goal now is not to forget him. Clearly you care about him, so you need to accept the fact that forgetting him is not going to happen. The breakup brain chemicals are swirling around in your system, and you probably need to obsess for a little while. Eventually, you need to embrace the pain, and understand how you feel, and scratch below the surface of love and betrayal and sadness. You have to let those feelings out, to give them their full voice. Once you do that, they will subside. It might take a long time or a little time. But you shouldn't try to escape these feelings, or to try to find someone else so that you can transfer them. That ain't gunna work. It's good that you're talking to your friend, and I understand the need for some flirtation. It helps the ego, and probably provides an outlet for the deadly buildup of unexpressed affection. Just don't let it get too far. The females here can probably help you more than me. I recommend a decidedly male approach to getting over your ex. But in the end, I think it is all about the desiring the future more than the past. That takes time. People will chime in. Good luck. 1
Author Seneya Posted December 15, 2015 Author Posted December 15, 2015 Thank you for your precious advice
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