JPM_26 Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 So let me give you the background on the relationship with my ex. She's 24, I'm 25. We met about 7 months ago. We made it official within several weeks after our first date. For the most part, we had a really good relationship. We were very genuine and caring for one another, we went on a ton of dates, and shared some really memorable experiences, and just really loved seeing each other every chance we got. However, the past month has been a bit rough and we've bumped heads and on Thursday night (12/9) we got into a really bad fight (over phone/text) that was my fault, so she called me the next afternoon and broke up with me while crying hysterically. I begged her to give me another chance, but she said that I need to work on myself and we need space apart. Note that this is my first legitimate breakup. After we hung up, I sent her a few texts pleading with her and asking her to stick with me, and tried calling her a couple times which of course she didn't pick up. My emotions then quickly turned to anger and sent her a nasty text in which I mentioned how many great things I did for her and to not be pissed if she ends up with a loser like her last ex was. A couple hours later, I notice that she's unfollowed me on all social media platforms. That's where reality set in for me. Started having feelings of being lonely and empty. The really dumb thing I did was while my emotions were running high, I impulsively bought flowers and brought them to her at work, apologizing for what I did and said. Her reaction was as expected, said she needs space and I'm not giving it to her... which I stupidly wasn't. My last text to her was around 6:30 that evening (12/10). I decided that I wasn't going to contact her any time soon, and I was just going to try to enjoy my weekend. Over the weekend, I made some posts on Instagram of how I was enjoying myself (at a show and then at a pub, for example) and used the ''they don't want you to be happy!'' motto. Even though she unfollowed me, that was meant to be seen by her, and this morning I saw that she blocked me on Instagram, and then twitter (even though I don't post there, she knows I still look at her tweets). So I cracked and sent her a lengthy note that I typed up over the weekend. I wanted to send it to her late in the week, but I couldn't help it. So I texted it to her first, but saw it wasn't delivered as an iMessage so I figured she might have blocked my number, so I emailed it to her. The note didn't contain any I love you's, I miss you's, or any begging to get back together. It's all just me recognizing my faults and explaining how I need to better myself. I spoke to my friend and he told me she was an irrational bitch for blocking me on social media, and said she did it to get in my head, which she did, but my posts on IG must have gotten to her as well. I also think she did it to make it seem like she's completely fine without any communication with me. We texted a lot. Like 70-100x per day. She almost always was the first to say good morning and typically initiated the conversations, and hated when I went just a few hours without texting her. The e-mail I sent will be my last bit of contact to her. I do hope that at some point we can talk and be on good terms. My buddy thinks she could come crawling back within a month or so. I could see it considering she is slightly clingy and I did take her v-card. If it happens, it happens. I'm just going to try to push her out of my mind and focus on my life. Anyone have a breakup experience similar to this?
mightycpa Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 First legitimate breakup, huh? No wonder you don't know how to act. You're acting like you're a teenager, but probably because that's when a lot of people have their first breakup. I think she'll come back, but I also think she won't come crawling back. You're trying to get her goat on social media, and she's not taking the bait. She knows what she's doing. I think she's going to come back with an agenda. You need to think long and hard about whether this relationship is it, or if it was a growing experience for you. After all, you broke up over a single quarrel, no doubt caused by some unreasonable angry emotional **** you said. At this point in your lives, she seems like she's a million miles ahead of you emotionally. She also seems strong enough to know what she wants. I kinda like her. She's not wrong. You probably could stand to work on yourself, regardless whether it helps her or some other girl you haven't met yet. I'm reminded of cultures where emotion rules the day, rather than reason.
schlieman Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 I agree with the post above me that you sound like a teenager and your first breakup. She told you twice she needs some space to think and you ignored it, no wonder she blocked you where ever she could. As well you started playing games (instagramm messages to make her see you are happy), for me a big no no, playing games is just disrespecting the other person and their feelings. You got still a lot to learn, i hope you learned allready from your actions so far. If you still want to be with her and she still wants too, you will find a way, give it time, give her space, concentrate on your life and well beeing for now and rethink why you argued in the first place and if it's something you can change in future or not.
theredpill Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 The best thing you can do right now to both move on and see whether there's any attraction on her side left is to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Any action you make other than this will delay your healing and end any chance of reconciliation, ignore this advice and you will suffer unnecessarily.
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