Augman Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Hi all, thanks in advance for reading this, I'll give you the shortest version possible, but i typically write novels, so I'm also sorry in advance for that. Our backstory (You can skip if you don't feel like reading): I was 18, she was 17. We had a crazy attraction for one another, things exploded, I lost my virginity to her yet I had underlying anger that she had sex once before me, even though she regretted it. things turned toxic after 6 months of my built up insecurities. I was immature for it, but she was immature and had hidden numbers in her phone so she could talk to ex's, snuck behind my back, and would even play flirt with other guys consistently. She told me she needed time to grow up, and I said I wouldn't wait for her. Around the 9 month mark she left me, and when she tried to keep talking to me I ignored her. The recent past, and present: I'm 20, she is 18. After ending a 9 month toxic relationship, months passed of me ignoring her, until she asked for a ride home one night, I felt bad and did. She begged me for hours upon hours to take her back. She had sex with a guy or two over the period of the few months I ignored her, and she said it was all the biggest mistake, that she needed me and just needed time to grow up, but that she thought she lost me forever. We talked for hours and hours. I said we could work on things, but that I wasn't ready for a relationship again and needed to be able to get over what she did. The next few months we were having sex regularly, talking, hanging out, but I treated her like garbage because of my anger from what she did over those couple months. She was perfect, changed her ways, treated me like perfection, and did anything I said for over 4 months straight all the while I didn't even give her a title of girlfriend that i knew she wanted more than anything. . She began having breakdowns consistently feeling unimportant, feeling unwanted, and generally thinking I truly hated her for everything that happened. I was childish, but things on my end were getting a little better, I asked for a little more time. She broke. She was emotionally compromised and said she can't do it anymore. That I treated her terribly while she was trying to make it up to me and just couldn't handle not getting a title. The last bit of anger I had over the past was gone, and I realized I had taken months too long to get over everything. I'm ****ty, I know it. No one here needs to tell me that. However, she has almost completely ignored me for two weeks now after she said we were done, except for a couple nights ago I promised I would go to her sister's play, so we went together, at her house, she was so exhausted and needed a nap before we could leave, she left her phone unattended and my curiosity got the best of me. I found flirty and sexy texts to a guy that liked her that she got rid of for me. I brought it up to her, as what happened a year ago in our previous toxic relationship. She said it was set up, and that she met with him and started hanging out with him, and asked if he would help her prove a point. The texts were set up and she said it's proof that I haven't changed, because I still would go through her phone without her permission, and that I never let go of the past. I've realized how wrong I have been and am ready for true change out of this toxicity, but I don't want to let her go. I would hate to lose my chance at happiness with her because of immaturity, when we could finally have a shot to work on things in a fair and equal relationship. I've let go, and I want a relationship again, but to her, I took too long, and she's says she doesn't believe we could ever work, or that I would ever truly change, even after she has. Thoughts? Do I let go once again? I loved that night I just got with her. She wouldn't let me kiss her when I asked, and she really is pissed. I just wonder if we have a chance at happiness.
Omei Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 This sounds done you guys dont work together you're both toxic to each other. I dont believe the "it was a set up" for the phone text I think she said that to cover her butt, and if it was a set up that is evil. There's already been a first chance together and a second chance, her mistake was telling you about the guys she slept with yall were broken up you didnt need to know the details of her single hood at that time she was silly to think you wouldnt be hurt by it or would need time. And you were silly to hold it against her like it was something she did to you when yall break up you let go of any rights to each other. Anyway the same problems are there the second time around. It sounds like you just want to settle, don't the future may hold a very happy relationship for you if you let go of this dead one.
VeveCakes Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 You held her at a distance until she found attention elsewhere, are you surprised? This is why you have to appreciate and nourish what you have in front of you while it's there.
Author Augman Posted December 15, 2015 Author Posted December 15, 2015 This sounds done you guys dont work together you're both toxic to each other. I dont believe the "it was a set up" for the phone text I think she said that to cover her butt, and if it was a set up that is evil. There's already been a first chance together and a second chance, her mistake was telling you about the guys she slept with yall were broken up you didnt need to know the details of her single hood at that time she was silly to think you wouldnt be hurt by it or would need time. And you were silly to hold it against her like it was something she did to you when yall break up you let go of any rights to each other. Anyway the same problems are there the second time around. It sounds like you just want to settle, don't the future may hold a very happy relationship for you if you let go of this dead one. I know we've both had some screw ups, and we've both been pretty immature. I do want to settle, it's all I ever wanted. I would also feel your suspicion with lying about the texts being set up, but everything did seem weird about the situation. non of the pictures were actually anything other than fully clothes pictures, and all the cutsy texts were just silly sounding. something along the lines of "I'd love to be with you, but I'm not sure how you feel" "I feel the same, sounds good". I do believe it was a setup, and she likes to show off that she can be clever in evil ways. You held her at a distance until she found attention elsewhere, are you surprised? This is why you have to appreciate and nourish what you have in front of you while it's there. Very true, and clearly I've realized these things.
Toodaloo Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 You don't love her you love drama... No you do not have a future unless you want to appear on Jeremy Kyle sometime soon..
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