notinept Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I've dated a lot of women in my life but I've only had one long-lasting female 'just friends' and I quite like being no more than just friends with women (I love women - what can I say) ! What can I do to stop women from either wanting to date me or hate me because I don't want them for more than a 'friend' ? Oh and just so you know, I had another female 'friend' or two but their husband's put an end to it because we were getting 'too friendly'. Oh and just so you know, I've tried to be friends with older women but then they eventually end up 'liking me too much', and I already have a mom and two Grandma's so I can't look for a friend too much older without it getting weird. I can only date so many women at one time (I do have to work, eat, etc.), so have you Any tips/hints ?
Glitters Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I've dated a lot of women in my life but I've only had one long-lasting female 'just friends' and I quite like being no more than just friends with women (I love women - what can I say) ! What can I do to stop women from either wanting to date me or hate me because I don't want them for more than a 'friend' ? Oh and just so you know, I had another female 'friend' or two but their husband's put an end to it because we were getting 'too friendly'. Oh and just so you know, I've tried to be friends with older women but then they eventually end up 'liking me too much', and I already have a mom and two Grandma's so I can't look for a friend too much older without it getting weird. I can only date so many women at one time (I do have to work, eat, etc.), so have you Any tips/hints ? Its not going to sit well with your lady love. I now understand why she backed off
Author notinept Posted December 14, 2015 Author Posted December 14, 2015 I know but what can I do about it ?
Glitters Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I know but what can I do about it ? What would you want a girl to do if in your OP, it was her and not you? You wouldnt even consider her dating seriously.Probably label her s@ut even. You clearly have unresolved issues from needing plenty of female attention. I'm not your lady love ( thankfully ! ) but please do a favour to her and let her go.She doesnt need to go through this s@it. I feel for her !
ravfour4 Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Find one that you can have sex with and who will be your best friend. Why do you want random female friends? So you can turn them into girlfriends? So they can help you find a girlfriend? To get their perspective on other women? Just find some women you don't find attractive, chat with them, tell them you don't want a relationship and appreciate their friendship. Done. Who cares if they fall in love with you as long as you're honest and don't lead them on.
Glitters Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Find one that you can have sex with and who will be your best friend. Why do you want random female friends? So you can turn them into girlfriends? So they can help you find a girlfriend? To get their perspective on other women? Just find some women you don't find attractive, chat with them, tell them you don't want a relationship and appreciate their friendship. Done. Who cares if they fall in love with you as long as you're honest and don't lead them on. Read his OP again he says " he loves women ". He " wants" to be surrounded by women to feel good about himself or whatever.He is now in love with a woman ( other forum on LS ) who has backed off and he wonders why ! The writing is on the wall but he still says " he loves women " ! The change will happen when he finds a woman whom he really falls for and wont feel the need for other women. Apparently the current love is not that woman and is just another date for him which she has realized sooner ( good for her ! ) OP, you might outgrow it or end up alone with no close connection to anyone.
Author notinept Posted December 14, 2015 Author Posted December 14, 2015 I made most of that up you know !? Sometimes you have to exaggerate truths in order to see how warped someone elses perception can be. And in the area of dating, like a lot of things, perception is reality ! My issue with not being able to make 'just friends' with women is because of their perception of me, and as ridiculous as may seem to anyone who really knows me (I've only been out with 3-different women in the last 3 years, not once did they overlap), it doesn't matter, because they witness me interacting with ease and skill with a particular attractive woman and conclude that the only way I would be that good with women like that is if I'm that 'practiced' ! I am naturally good with women, not because I'm a player just jerking women around but because I strive for perfection in everything I do. I believe the female gender is, on a whole, much much much better at communicating than men are, so yes I do look to women, enjoy being with women, not for some underhanded, deceitful reason but because you've all got so much to teach us guys in the art of communication. Glitters; My current 'lady love' is why I need to find these answers, and I'm sure at her recent post-divorce level of self-esteem, she's (wrongly) perceiving me as something I'm not. Thanks - I think I'm one step closer to solving a hugely important puzzle, of which my reward might just be the company of an amazing woman.
Robratory Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I've dated a lot of women in my life but I've only had one long-lasting female 'just friends' and I quite like being no more than just friends with women (I love women - what can I say) ! What can I do to stop women from either wanting to date me or hate me because I don't want them for more than a 'friend' ? This opinion may not be popular, but I don't believe close friendships between heterosexual men and women can work or are even healthy. The fact is that most of us feel the need to have someone central in our lives, someone who meets not all but most of our social, romantic, sexual, and emotional needs. Most of us. And when we're with that person, we don't want to share them with others. Most people just won't accept that their significant other is closely involved with someone else. So that limits our opportunities to single people and only while they remain single. And what are you supposed to do when they stop being single and enter into a relationship? Now we've lost a friend. That sucks. And I think it's not very healthy because, perhaps not in your case, but many times we use our platonic friend to fill some emotional need in us, but that then keeps us from seeking a complete partner, someone who is more than a confidant. 1
Glitters Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Glitters; My current 'lady love' is why I need to find these answers, and I'm sure at her recent post-divorce level of self-esteem, she's (wrongly) perceiving me as something Once again you are trying to cover up your behavior by labeling her! Good luck with that!
mrldii Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 OP, arrange a double-date with any one of the 1,438 men who've posted in the past month on LS how "every woman I go out with 'friend-zones' me" and then do everything he does to his date, to yours. You're welcome...and good luck!!!
kitty12345 Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Dude, you've got it all wrong. I've been there, done that and got my T-shirt. You can keep justifying till you are red in the face and your heart stops beating BUT truth of the matter is there is no justification and a woman whom you would ultimately want forever to be yours, will not accept any of these justifications or philosophical thinking or whatever you want to name it.There is no working around it. Its a dealbreaker for most. My post is not going to make any difference as well. Many people told me as well but I learned the hard way , a bit too late.
kitty12345 Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 I want to say more , man! I read your other posts also. Even though my post won't make any difference but I'll try ' if ' you really are in love. Your girl will never be able to trust you, irrespective of how you coat it. You are naturally good with women ? Who cares ? You need to be good to the woman you are with. If you are having a good time with other women and your woman is left to watch how you are good with women, does it make any sense ? You learn a lot of communication from women ? Who cares if the woman you are with doesn't want to talk to you as you are busy mastering the skill with others? If you are with an attractive woman , and other women perceive you great or whatever because you have practiced etc , dude , you've got it all wrong ! No intention to slam you but trying to help you salvage if you want a quality woman to stick around. A quality woman will call you on this and since you have explanations for your behavior, she will leave. Those who will stay , have no better options. Trust me , I've learnt the very hard way. I can't change my past but giving it up was the most difficult thing to do but best thing. Can you give up women attention to become a trustworthy guy for a woman who doesn't has to compete for your attention and not think twice what you are up to once she is not around ? I did that. Too little too late
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