Lola2609 Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Hi everyone. My situation is a little hard to describe. So basically, we worked together and he was in a relationship and has kids with his gf. Then I stopped working for that company but we kept in touch. One day he asked me out and also told me that his gf cheated on him and he moved out. We went on a date and he was really nice (though I was aware of being a rebound girl, just I didn't mind as I wasn't interested in anyone with that much baggage). We kept seeing each other and were intimate. His behavior was incredible. He called me everyday, texted the whole day long and even was helping me with my finals (I am back in school). He introduced me to his brother and even invited me over to his mom's house but I didn't go. One day he told me that he talked to his ex gf and let her know that he was never going back to her and that she got upset. Now I panicked as I wasn't sure I wanted anything serious with him (I sort of had some feelings for him at this point but still didnt want anything serious). One day I texted him that I feel weird about us. He got hurt, I guess, and texted me that it is ok as he was going back to his family anyway. The next day he apologized, told me that he was talking from a hurt place and jumped to conclusions. We were cool again for few days. He asked me what I was looking for in terms of relationship. I said I was not sure and that I always thought of him "as a guy who has a gf" and set the limits for myself. He replied that he was in a world of confusion too but he would take whatever I was ready to give him. He also asked f the limits have changed now that he is single. Only a week after this conversation, after not saying usual good night he texted me at 3.30am to let me know that he was with someone else and that he was sorry. I replied that I was not mad but I was done with him. His reply was that he got really wrapped up in feelings for me at the beginning and never thought I would like him as much as he liked me. But by the time he started to doubt his feelings he realized I liked him too, so he was sorry to lead me on. My question is, why did he go from hot to cold? Was I a rebound girl only?
Author Lola2609 Posted December 14, 2015 Author Posted December 14, 2015 You rejected him, he moved on. But he keeps texting me, after I told him that I was not mad. I explained that I was not sure what I wanted but after he did what he did I decided I def dont want anything serious with him. He seemed ok with it, and just keeps texting me.
angel.eyes Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Well, he's moved on. He told you he's with woman #3 now. You should move on too. Oh, and he cheats...he cheated on you! All the more reason to keep it moving. Please stop fighting to be his rebound!
Author Lola2609 Posted December 14, 2015 Author Posted December 14, 2015 Well, he's moved on. He told you he's with woman #3 now. You should move on too. Oh, and he cheats...he cheated on you! All the more reason to keep it moving. Please stop fighting to be his rebound! I thnk it was only one night stand. Not that I am saying it was ok to do but I dont think he is with her now.
angel.eyes Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Sorry, let's say this was indeed just a one night stand, why would you want to get back with a "confused" guy who had a one night stand while dating you??? Why are you bargaining with him to take you back for just casual sex after he CHEATS on you with, according to you, some random hookup? You are way more emotionally invested than he is. That's why you're willing to settle for whatever crumbs he might be willing to let you have. Work on your self-esteem. I don't care how little you think you have to offer, I know you can do better than this. He's going back to his family...He's calling you while with some random woman at 3:30 am...He's confused, unsure, playing the field, and on the rebound... There are 3 billion guys out there. Throw this stinker back in the pond and keep fishing.
kendahke Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I don't consider what he did as cheating, since you two never had any exclusive agreement with one another. He was out of his relationship, you didn't want a relationship and he found someone else who probably is more inclined for a relationship and has no problem with his "baggage". This is past its shelf life now. Best to move on and not invest any more time in it.
Author Lola2609 Posted December 14, 2015 Author Posted December 14, 2015 You should stay away from my thread. I was clear I am not invested. I just can't get over the fact he has small kids. I need different type of guy in my life. I kind of liked his sense of humor and thought he was a smart guy. My confusion is: why would he act so interested and then just text me out of the blue he hooked up with someone? Why even let me know? We were not in an official relationship. And why does he keep texting me every two hours pretty much. Still good night and good morning texts. He just texted me this morning that he was waiting long enough and it is time to say "good m9rning". I do reply bc I am really not mad. I just lost all the interest I had (not that much anyway).
Author Lola2609 Posted December 14, 2015 Author Posted December 14, 2015 I don't consider what he did as cheating, since you two never had any exclusive agreement with one another. He was out of his relationship, you didn't want a relationship and he found someone else who probably is more inclined for a relationship and has no problem with his "baggage". This is past its shelf life now. Best to move on and not invest any more time in it. Thanks for your reply. I agree. I dont think he is with that girl though. It was pretty much one night stand.
angel.eyes Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 If he's not the type of guy you want in your life, and you're not really interested, then just move on to someone else. If his texts are unwanted, then block them. If you truly aren't interested in him, then don't concern yourself with why he does what he does. It's irrelevant.
Author Lola2609 Posted December 14, 2015 Author Posted December 14, 2015 If he's not the type of guy you want in your life, and you're not really interested, then just move on to someone else. If his texts are unwanted, then block them. If you truly aren't interested in him, then don't concern yourself with why he does what he does. It's irrelevant. Well, I did spend some time with him and I am aware I was wishy-washy about the relationship but I still believe he should't do it the way he did. I am also confused why he let me know. The girl was probably still with him, when he decided to pick up the phone to let me know.
Author Lola2609 Posted December 15, 2015 Author Posted December 15, 2015 If he's not the type of guy you want in your life, and you're not really interested, then just move on to someone else. If his texts are unwanted, then block them. If you truly aren't interested in him, then don't concern yourself with why he does what he does. It's irrelevant. Well, I did spend some time with him and I am aware I was wishy-washy about the relationship but I still believe he should't do it the way he did. I am also confused why he let me know. The girl was probably still with him, when he decided to pick up the phone to let me know.
angel.eyes Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 I agree. To me that was the worst part. If some guy woke me up at 3:30 in the morning from some other woman's bed to tell me he's with her, I would have told him to knock himself out and hung up. That would have been it. I don't care how enthralled I might have been with him, he would be "dead" to me emotionally after that stunt. It's totally disrespectful on all levels. No one needs someone who treats them like that in their life. My advice, is focus on finding someone else. Let him carry on with his baby mamas, games, and whatever else it is he's doing. You don't need to deal with his crap or worry about it. Focus on finding men who treat you well.
Author Lola2609 Posted December 15, 2015 Author Posted December 15, 2015 I agree. To me that was the worst part. If some guy woke me up at 3:30 in the morning from some other woman's bed to tell me he's with her, I would have told him to knock himself out and hung up. That would have been it. I don't care how enthralled I might have been with him, he would be "dead" to me emotionally after that stunt. It's totally disrespectful on all levels. No one needs someone who treats them like that in their life. My advice, is focus on finding someone else. Let him carry on with his baby mamas, games, and whatever else it is he's doing. You don't need to deal with his crap or worry about it. Focus on finding men who treat you well. He actually texted me and I saw the text in the morning and just replied "thank you for letting me know". And then he gave me the explanation how he started to doubt his feelings towards me. I mean was this the way to tell me that?
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