TheArtist Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I would love to know how you all feel about approaching potential dates during the day, away from the usual pub/club context in places such as coffee shops, libraries, museums, or just walking around town. It might sound silly to ask but since everyone is dating online (and seemingly not having much luck) I was thinking of going more traditional again, but I hate those nightclub things! Has anyone tried this? Did you have any success? How did the ladies feel about being approached during the day? Tell your stories!
LoveRefreshed Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I would love to know how you all feel about approaching potential dates during the day, away from the usual pub/club context in places such as coffee shops, libraries, museums, or just walking around town. It might sound silly to ask but since everyone is dating online (and seemingly not having much luck) I was thinking of going more traditional again, but I hate those nightclub things! Has anyone tried this? Did you have any success? How did the ladies feel about being approached during the day? Tell your stories! Try not nightclubs. I flirt with girls and get dates at all times of the day. Stores, coffee shops, gas stations....
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I think it's fine but realize with the advent of OLD, many people are afraid of other people who talk to them in public. People feel safer hiding behind their devices. I do think that if you have seen the person more then once -- they are always in the shop where you get your morning coffee -- that routine makes it easier to approach. 3
Toodaloo Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I would love to know how you all feel about approaching potential dates during the day, away from the usual pub/club context in places such as coffee shops, libraries, museums, or just walking around town. It might sound silly to ask but since everyone is dating online (and seemingly not having much luck) I was thinking of going more traditional again, but I hate those nightclub things! Has anyone tried this? Did you have any success? How did the ladies feel about being approached during the day? Tell your stories! I talk to men while out and about all the time. Rarely get asked out (by single men for some reason the married ones are happy to oblige) so for goodness sake if you are chatting to a woman you like the look of ask! I swear there would be less heart break if more men did this. I doubt they would be rejected quite so often either as they can gauge interest in that first 5 minute conversation. 7
Toodaloo Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I think it's fine but realize with the advent of OLD, many people are afraid of other people who talk to them in public. People feel safer hiding behind their devices. I do think that if you have seen the person more then once -- they are always in the shop where you get your morning coffee -- that routine makes it easier to approach. Bolded. This is so true. People see OLD as the one stop shop to dating. Its not. 2
Snakechammah Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 After having 4 Long-Distance boyfriends, I am finally dating people IN PERSON. Gosh, what have I been missing out in life! There is MAGIC in human interactions, it's so memorable, the first glance, the shy look, the scent of his cologne as he walks by, the moment when you realized "Holy Batman, the guy is cute and omg he is looking at me too!".. all these things I never realized because I was looking for love in all the wrong places... on my computer. So yes, cherish every waking moment you have and keep looking for love - because it's out there! 3
truth_seeker Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 What a great topic for discussion! OLD you fall in love with a picture, meet the person in IRL and realize there's no chemistry. I am the biggest believer it's supposed to happen (meeting the one) by chance and circumstance. Same place, same time, eyes lock, heart beats faster, get a little or a lot nervous, go crazy hoping to break the ice, ice gets broken, the rest is history... sigh... 4
truth_seeker Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 After having 4 Long-Distance boyfriends, I am finally dating people IN PERSON. Gosh, what have I been missing out in life! There is MAGIC in human interactions, it's so memorable, the first glance, the shy look, the scent of his cologne as he walks by, the moment when you realized "Holy Batman, the guy is cute and omg he is looking at me too!".. all these things I never realized because I was looking for love in all the wrong places... on my computer. So yes, cherish every waking moment you have and keep looking for love - because it's out there! I really like what you wrote. Keeps hope alive for us single people. 2
truth_seeker Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I think it's fine but realize with the advent of OLD, many people are afraid of other people who talk to them in public. People feel safer hiding behind their devices. I agree. It makes life easier for those who are afraid to approach in public. Also, it allows the creeps and jerks to practice their twisted games. So much easier for players to spit game behind a screen than to someone's face. 1
jen1447 Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I would love to know how you all feel about approaching potential dates during the day, away from the usual pub/club context in places such as coffee shops, libraries, museums, or just walking around town. It might sound silly to ask but since everyone is dating online (and seemingly not having much luck) I was thinking of going more traditional again, but I hate those nightclub things! Has anyone tried this? Did you have any success? How did the ladies feel about being approached during the day? Tell your stories! I do it all the time and have a lot of success. A lot depends on who you are and how you conduct yourself obvs but it can be done, sure. 1
Toodaloo Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I agree. It makes life easier for those who are afraid to approach in public. Also, it allows the creeps and jerks to practice their twisted games. So much easier for players to spit game behind a screen than to someone's face. In real life you can have a short conversation and chat. You can gauge more from a persons body language and how they conduct themselves etc. You can figure out how interested they are by the way they interact with you. If a woman is a bit flirty, smiling etc and not wearing a wedding ring there is no harm in asking. Yes you may be turned down but I figure that is better than being constantly ignored, wound up and rejected on line. At least face to face if you ask you get a reply. You also have the chance to make her day. Even if she is already taken at least she can giggle to her girlfriends that she got asked out today and isn't it great to still have "it". So you have still made another person smile. Where is the down side? 3
Ami1uwant Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 How old are u ??? I'm 8n my mid 40s so I do recall how dating happened the old fashioned way. Usually it would happen through normal social nteractions like meeting people through friends or date through college or through a job ( like retail). Meeting randomly for some like myself was very hard. For others it's really easy. If you know you are very attractive it can be alot easier. Then ir was rare to not get married by 25. After 25 it would get really hard to meet people unless you lived in a city like nyc or DC or SF that had a young mid to late 20s single pooulation. There were bars where you could meet someone. The other places were pure random meetings like at supetmarkets..but these meetings it's hard to tell there 8s 8nterest. 2
hasaquestion Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I think it's fine but realize with the advent of OLD, many people are afraid of other people who talk to them in public. People feel safer hiding behind their devices. I do think that if you have seen the person more then once -- they are always in the shop where you get your morning coffee -- that routine makes it easier to approach. The emphasized is true. I think the implication that it is bad for the person doing the approaching is wrong. From what I've seen, the bar to impress someone in a public setting is lower than it is at a bar or a club. It's about power. At the end of the day women are attracted to men who "make them feel safe" in an animalistic, primal sense. Approaching someone in a setting where people don't normally - and doing it well - highlights your charm in a way that you don't get at a place where people aren't nervous and vulnerable. It leaves a strong impression you can't leave in a place where she already has her barriers up. Of course you have to have the skills to pull it off. But if you do its definitely easier than a bar or a club, not harder. 2
truth_seeker Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 In real life you can have a short conversation and chat. You can gauge more from a persons body language and how they conduct themselves etc. You can figure out how interested they are by the way they interact with you. If a woman is a bit flirty, smiling etc and not wearing a wedding ring there is no harm in asking. Yes you may be turned down but I figure that is better than being constantly ignored, wound up and rejected on line. At least face to face if you ask you get a reply. You also have the chance to make her day. Even if she is already taken at least she can giggle to her girlfriends that she got asked out today and isn't it great to still have "it". So you have still made another person smile. Where is the down side? She gets the glory (being asked out) the man gets his ego bruised (if rejected). IRL you can tell if someone is into you. It's the look they give you.
truth_seeker Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 At the end of the day women are attracted to men who "make them feel safe" You think Justin Beiber and Justin Timberlake make women feel safe?
SwordofFlame Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 In real life you can have a short conversation and chat. You can gauge more from a persons body language and how they conduct themselves etc. You can figure out how interested they are by the way they interact with you. If a woman is a bit flirty, smiling etc and not wearing a wedding ring there is no harm in asking. Yes you may be turned down but I figure that is better than being constantly ignored, wound up and rejected on line. At least face to face if you ask you get a reply. You also have the chance to make her day. Even if she is already taken at least she can giggle to her girlfriends that she got asked out today and isn't it great to still have "it". So you have still made another person smile. Where is the down side? Also may be labelled a creep if she is with her friends.
hasaquestion Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 You think Justin Beiber and Justin Timberlake make women feel safe? They're rich and famous and powerful and admired around the world. Of course they do.
truth_seeker Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Also may be labelled a creep if she is with her friends. Guys are only creeps to women who find them unattractive... if the guy is good-looking, she'll be swooning...
Author TheArtist Posted December 14, 2015 Author Posted December 14, 2015 I do it all the time and have a lot of success. A lot depends on who you are and how you conduct yourself obvs but it can be done, sure. I think women asking men are much more likely to get a yes than a man asking a woman, although as you say, it has a lot to do with how you approach them and how you connect.
truth_seeker Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 They're rich and famous and powerful and admired around the world. Of course they do. You lost me on admired around the world
jen1447 Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I think women asking men are much more likely to get a yes than a man asking a woman, although as you say, it has a lot to do with how you approach them and how you connect. Well I mostly do it w/women. Which is also easier than guys asking women, tho the popular opinion is that it would be much harder. 1
mrldii Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 Sometimes I wonder how the human species was ever able to get off the ground before the advent of computers. And porn, of course. *Seriously*, though...a first-meet that actually occurs in the real world, without 10-year-old pics, featuring 20 less pounds, 30% more hair and texting back-and-forth for 4 weeks 'to get to know someone' before we meet and actually get to know someone?!? Yanno, it's soooo crazy, it just might work. Imma gonna ask my 81-YO mother how it was done. 5
TheTraveler Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 *Seriously*, though...a first-meet that actually occurs in the real world, without 10-year-old pics, featuring 20 less pounds, 30% more hair and texting back-and-forth for 4 weeks 'to get to know someone' before we meet and actually get to know someone?!? I like asking someone out in person. It's a lot easier. OLD feels like work. 2
Hopeful30 Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 I've only ever dated in real life, I would say it's much easier for the simple fact you can sense the persons presence, and that to me gives me all the information I need. I'm good at reading people, and I've yet to be wrong. 2
Toodaloo Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 She gets the glory (being asked out) the man gets his ego bruised (if rejected). IRL you can tell if someone is into you. It's the look they give you. Oh for goodness sake. So she isn't wanting to date you its not as if you are asking for marriage just a flipping drink. Why not turn it on its head that you have made someone happy which is a positive thing rather than have all these bitter negative feelings. I have asked guys out and been rejected - do I then think that my ego is bruised? No, I think they don't fancy me and move on. And that is from a girl whos' traditional role is to sit giggling in the corner... Its nice when people smile after you ask them out. It flattering to know that you are attractive. Or are we living in a day and age where we have to be mean and nasty to everyone? I really wish people would get over themselves when they have an attitude like this. Not only does it prevent then actually getting dates but it also makes them very unattractive... 4
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