ConfusedInOC Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn CIOC, you are taking it in a different perspective, let me put my point This thread is about NC, the commandents of NC or in other words how to do NC. Now since you don't believe in NC, so there is no question of agreeing to its Commandents so this thread was not for you per se. You also know that there are several threads in forums like Parents, of marriage or other man/woman but we don't go to it. We can't go there and start discussing something of our own and say that no we are allowed to hijack or diver the thread. For the 100th time, I DO believe in NC.....but under WHAT context are you using it? It is not something as asking you not to post or air your views, but on the subject of NC, anything which is not related to following NC is off-topic. There are many ppl like me who believe in No Contact we like discussion on it. My comments ARE on topic. That's what irks me. This post is ONE PERSON's view of what NC should be, as if their opinion of how NC should be implemented is the ONLY way it should go. I merely voiced my opinion. I don't care whether it's well received or not. It's my opinion only. Take it or leave it. There is no thread hijacking as far as I can tell. Just some egos bent out of shape.
Author RoxStar Posted June 1, 2005 Author Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I don't see your post as highly aberrant, but it's not your thread and if Roxystar prefers things to revolve around her and her topic as it's her thread you will have to accept her request. (RoxStar having a tempertantrum) ITS MY THREAD and I WANT THINGS TO REVOLVE AROUND ME. HMMMMMPH. (RoxStar is now picking her self up off the ground and is going to stop acting like a 5 year old) Anywho... its all good. I know some people have a difference of opinion regarding NC and LC. I started this as a Homage to NC but it got off topic. Its all good in the hood - YO!
alphamale Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 every poster's idea or definition of "on topic" and "off topic" will be different. Is a tangental topic "off" or "on"? Who is to say? I shall start a new thread about this and we'll see where it goes.
greenhorn Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC My comments ARE on topic. That's what irks me. This post is ONE PERSON's view of what NC should be, as if their opinion of how NC should be implemented is the ONLY way it should go. I merely voiced my opinion. I don't care whether it's well received or not. It's my opinion only. Take it or leave it. There is no thread hijacking as far as I can tell. Just some egos bent out of shape. CIOC, dude chill out, you are getting worked up. See the logical steps in NC are 1. you decide whether to do NC or not, the motive for doing it and also assessing the alternatives like LC or FC. 2.If answer to step 1 is NC you do NC and then you find ways how to do it in a better way 3.You find some props for maintaining NC. The points that you are putting are all valid and meaningful, but this is on step 1 whereas this thread started on step 2 and further. Now you see why Rox was saying that your views are off topic.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn CIOC, dude chill out, you are getting worked up. Hardly. You've not seem me even remotely worked up yet See the logical steps in NC are I'm quite aware of what they are. The question is under what circumstances are you using NC and are you doing it for the right reasons? You see, if you start implementing NC and have no clue why or what you want to achieve by using it, in some cases you can cause more harm than good. Understand? Good. The points that you are putting are all valid and meaningful, but this is on step 1 whereas this thread started on step 2 and further. Now you see why Rox was saying that your views are off topic. They are well on topic. Thanks.
greenhorn Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC The question is under what circumstances are you using NC and are you doing it for the right reasons? You see, if you start implementing NC and have no clue why or what you want to achieve by using it, in some cases you can cause more harm than good This question was not discussed here, there was no discussion on the legitmacy or usefulness or suitability or comfortability of NC. It was how to do NC and now WHY to do NC.
ConfusedInOC Posted June 1, 2005 Posted June 1, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn This question was not discussed here, there was no discussion on the legitmacy or usefulness or suitability or comfortability of NC. It was how to do NC and now WHY to do NC. Right. WHY to do NC or WHY NOT to do NC. Glad we agree.
fundamental Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 7 - If you think its not for you thats fine but keep this one thing in mind in terms or breaking up... MAINTAIN YOUR DIGNITY. Usually with NC its a lot easier to maintain your dignity because you dont ever give your ex the gratification of letting them know you are still affected by the break up. The number one break up rule should always be MAINTAIN YOUR DIGNITY! Dont beg for them to come back, dont say things you dont mean or dont want to come back and bite you in the arse, dont let them see you sweat! Calm, Cool, Collected... But doesn't NC show that you are still affected?!?!? Especially using NC on an ex with mutual friends. I am not saying that someone should beg for an ex, but to act like nothing has ever happened, to attempt to erase it from mind can work as well. I think this rule is good if there are no mutual friends involved. Because if you have to see this man/woman say with a group of friends, there is no way to avoid the situation. Plus, avoiding doesnt always lead healing. The other 9 Commandments are pretty good.
alphamale Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental But doesn't NC show that you are still affected?!?!? Nope! Especially using NC on an ex with mutual friends. So what...drop the whole group. Anytime u see the "mutual friends" it will remind you of the ex anyways. And also remember, FUNDAMENTAL, that these "mutual friends" have already chosen sides and have an allegiance to either you or your ex. Because if you have to see this man/woman say with a group of friends, there is no way to avoid the situation. The only things you HAVE to do are die and pay taxes. Plus, avoiding doesnt always lead healing. Bull-f***king shyt it doesn't.
fundamental Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Alpha, I see your point. However, dropping longtime mutual friends is not easy and probably should not have to be done. (rambling) Oh, but the dumper does know that NC affects the dumpee... LS has made this NC stuff so common, anyone on here who has been dumped will use NC and will probably dump someone else and that person will use NC and then the dumper who used NC will know the dumpee is using NC to heal so the dumper will continously contact the dumpee to keep them close and the dumpee is still weak breaks NC...hahahahahahaha!!!!
alphamale Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 Originally posted by fundamental Alpha, I see your point. However, dropping longtime mutual friends is not easy and probably should not have to be done. You don't have to drop the mutual friends completely, FUNDAMENTAL. You just see them when the ex is not around. Get it??? For example, u have a great blow out bash at your crib and invite all your friends but not the ex!!
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 The only things you HAVE to do are die and pay taxes. And have a dump, pee, have sex, eat, breathe...
withdrawal Posted June 2, 2005 Posted June 2, 2005 my stomach hurts from the stress. God someone out there please reinforce the nc. this man is driving me crazy with the silent treatment but I refuse to give.. Please inspirations anyone???
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