LookAtThisPOst Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Well my case was a little bit different in that eventually she did return to tell me that it wasn't me, she is going through some kind of traumatic event that she's not ready to talk about yet and may not ever be That's because she's unable to concoct a lie to tell you. Makes it easier for her.
katiegrl Posted December 16, 2015 Posted December 16, 2015 Yeah, "simmering" is not like ghosting...at least they are actually answering your calls, but always come up with a reason not to go out with you. "Yeah, things in my life have been pretty crazy!" Notice they use the word "things" in a sentence. lol Also called "blown off" I am not sure if I even "ghosted' persee, I was kind of feeling bad about it, but here's what I did. After our first date, I wasn't really feelin' it, and she said, "Perhaps we can do this again sometime" and I go, "Yep" and we hugged. I never did call her though. But, I thought it was one of those situations even in non-dating situations where people talk speculatively, "Hey, we should do this sometime!" and people say "Yeah" regardless as a generic response. I never led her on, but it was a knee jerk, instinctual "yep". Simmering = fading or the "fade". I hear that a lot. Lots of fading going on out there...... 1
Calypso Girl Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 (edited) He was 46 and me 48. We had a full blown relationship with friends and family involved. Last thing he told me when he boarded his flight is I love you I'll call you as soon as I land. He never did hear from him again. He ignored all my text, emails, calls. I reached to his adult daughter after a month and she told me she is upset at her father for not telling it's over he's not coming back. He told her he couldn't face me. Finally 2 months later I got an email from him saying he was sorry, I was an amazing woman and I deserved better (he was right on that one). That was 2 years ago. I went through all the mourning phases but the anger is still in me. So not a youngster then! So sorry. What a spineless, selfish wuss . I'm not surprised you're angry-I'd be livid in your situation. I have to say I find cowards a real turn-off! You sound so much stronger than him Gaeta! I was speaking to a much older co-worker (about this) yesterday, who told me about her friend's husband who ghosted after 4 years of marriage!Just disappeared one day, later to be discovered (when traced) to be living and working abroad. Apparently she had no idea anything was amiss. I've heard of other, similar stories involving other families (with children) where in virtually all the cases, the male spouse just vanished into thin air one day. Absolutely awful, given the anguish and suffering the families had to endure because one partner hadn't the guts to confront things. To handle things in this manner is complete inexcusable and cruel. I'm just wondering now how one can tell the difference between someone 'pulling back' in the relationship and ghosting etc? Though one can start off as one and 'develop' into the other, depending on how you handle things, I guess! Edited December 18, 2015 by Calypso Girl
Redhead14 Posted December 19, 2015 Posted December 19, 2015 This is confusing. Who is doing the pulling back each time? It is the man who does the pulling away. Usually the woman chases him into his "cave". Men will go into a "cave" during periods high stress, overwhelming feelings, etc. Those types of men need their space. It takes a very strong and independent woman to be "with" man like this. They do want and need the connection with a woman but it kinda has to be on their own terms. Lots of men will "cave" for short periods of time, say a couple of days, but men described above do it for a week or more at a time.
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