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How often should you message a girl you like without sounding clingy?

notsointerested

By notsointerested
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notsointerested Member

notsointerested

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I like a girl and I enjoy messaging her but I don't want to keep pestering her with messages and looking like someone who is clingy.

 

How often should I talk to her without sounding needy?

 

Is it bad that she doesn't initiate conversations with me but is willing to respond to everything I send to her?

hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

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Everyone is different, but I would say most girls who are dating someone would want to hear from the guy on a daily basis.

 

As long as she is responding well to your texts, I would not interpret her lack of initiation as a lack of interest. Many girls are told not to initiate no matter how much they like the guy.

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notsointerested Member

notsointerested

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Everyone is different, but I would say most girls who are dating someone would want to hear from the guy on a daily basis.

 

As long as she is responding well to your texts, I would not interpret her lack of initiation as a lack of interest. Many girls are told not to initiate no matter how much they like the guy.

 

We're not dating though. We're just friends through university at the moment, though I'd like it to be more

Amelie1980 Established Member

Amelie1980

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If youre not dating concentrate more on face to face? How often do you see her?

 

Hard to build up a relationship via text.

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I like Amelie's comment. I'd work on getting away from messaging and into face to face.

SerenityNoww Member

SerenityNoww

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Hard to build up a relationship via text.

 

Try getting most women on dating sites to believe that ;)

Snakechammah Established Member

Snakechammah

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If you have a chance of frequently meeting her face-to-face (at work or in school), consider yourself lucky!

 

I always find real presence magical and memory imprinting than mere texts.

 

In my moments of peace, I'll always recall the first kiss, the first touch, the way his eyes gaze on my face, the sound of his voice... and all the sickeningly-sweet disney feels LOL... so make yourself memorable and TALK to her in person. It's much better than texting rapidly.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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If she is someone you know IRL from school but is not initiating, she only sees you as a friend. She doesn't initiate because she doesn't want to lead you on but she responds because she is polite.

 

 

You made a fatal mistake by not engaging with her IRL so now you are friend-zoned. Fortune favors the bold.

 

 

Next time you see her in person, probably next semester, you can judge her level of interest & then decide to ask her on a date. Until then, put down your phone & do not contact her again.

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Erik30 Established Member

Erik30

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Texting daily is too much, unless she is initiating most of it.

I would keep it to once or twice a week, since you're still just friends. Ask her out instead of sending messages.

PaperCrane Established Member

PaperCrane

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Fortune favors the bold.

 

Bolded...for emphasis.

 

Turn texts into phone calls. Exchanging through text can be lifeless, give it some oopmh with talking.

 

Set up to see her in person and MAKE A MOVE.

normal person Established Member

normal person

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If your plan is just "text her until she likes me somehow," I'd suggest getting a new strategy.

 

I'd say stop texting her for anything but practical/logistical purposes. If she wants to talk to you, she'll text you. There's not much to gain by texting her a lot (especially if it's just meaningless chit-chat) and if you keep doing it you seem eager and clingy, it's unattractive. You're showing all your cards. Make her want you. See what happens when you stop texting. She might have a reaction or she might not. If she doesn't, you can probably cut your loss right there.

 

Or you could just ask her out in person instead of just texting her for no reason.

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jonwashington Member

jonwashington

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i woould talk face to face and make her like you more..then she will text you more and it willl become easier and you wont feel the need to ask this question to yourself( i know ho you feel)..dont feel like you need to text her because your getting restless or anything

ZA Dater Established Member

ZA Dater

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This is like asking how long is a piece of string. Its totally subjective.

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normal person Established Member

normal person

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This is like asking how long is a piece of string. Its totally subjective.

 

You miss the point. This guy is making a typical mistake -- no one is telling that him he needs to find the right measurement for his string, 10cm, 15 cm, whatever. Do you really think the "length" (amount of texting) even matters with this girl in this situation? The consensus seems to be "stop measuring." The guy isn't helping himself.

MGX Established Member

MGX

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I think the girl isn't into the OP because she isn't starting conversations with him or otherwise seeking him out on her own. She's just being polite and humoring him.

 

OP, I think you're wasting your time.

normal person Established Member

normal person

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You should message her more than she messages you.

 

I honestly can't tell if this is a serious post or not.

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angel.eyes Established Member

angel.eyes

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If your plan is just "text her until she likes me somehow," I'd suggest getting a new strategy.

 

So true!!

 

If your goal is a date, ask her out on a date. Otherwise be prepared to watch her date others while you continue with the pointless texting.

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notsointerested Member

notsointerested

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So this is kinda what happened. Me being a pussy just didn't take control of things. The opportunities were there for the taking but I just never acted. She was being super helpful to me in class and we went out for drinks, clubbing etc... but I just never acted on those opportunities because I feared the rejection. This is pretty much me in a nutshell.

 

It has happened before to me and that rejection went horribly wrong and it affected me for weeks. That's why it's hurt my confidence.

 

If she is someone you know IRL from school but is not initiating, she only sees you as a friend. She doesn't initiate because she doesn't want to lead you on but she responds because she is polite.

 

You made a fatal mistake by not engaging with her IRL so now you are friend-zoned. Fortune favors the bold.

 

Next time you see her in person, probably next semester, you can judge her level of interest & then decide to ask her on a date. Until then, put down your phone & do not contact her again.

 

I screwed up. It's too late. She's from my class and we meet up in public but I was too scared to make the first move and now she friend-zoned me. I realised this. I mean we went on night outs together, just both of us.. But I never really took full control and yeah, my fault.

 

If your plan is just "text her until she likes me somehow," I'd suggest getting a new strategy.

 

I'd say stop texting her for anything but practical/logistical purposes. If she wants to talk to you, she'll text you. There's not much to gain by texting her a lot (especially if it's just meaningless chit-chat) and if you keep doing it you seem eager and clingy, it's unattractive. You're showing all your cards. Make her want you. See what happens when you stop texting. She might have a reaction or she might not. If she doesn't, you can probably cut your loss right there.

 

Or you could just ask her out in person instead of just texting her for no reason.

 

I've stopped texting her for now so I guess I'll see if she really is a friend. Nothing much I can scrape at the end of the barrel now. I know I screwed up and I have to try again on a different girl.

 

I think the girl isn't into the OP because she isn't starting conversations with him or otherwise seeking him out on her own. She's just being polite and humoring him.

 

OP, I think you're wasting your time.

 

Thank you. It's easier for me to just move on from this girl now. I messed up big time, i should have been more assertive from the beginning but instead let us become friends.. close friends :o

newt Established Member

newt

Posted
Posted
I like a girl and I enjoy messaging her but I don't want to keep pestering her with messages and looking like someone who is clingy.

 

How often should I talk to her without sounding needy?

 

Is it bad that she doesn't initiate conversations with me but is willing to respond to everything I send to her?

 

 

I guess it's not since she responds to all texts and is open to seeing you face to face. I have the same experience with a girl I met off OKC.

  • 2 weeks later...
NewPerspective93 Established Member

NewPerspective93

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You should've showed your interest directly and a long time ago. Just waiting and beating around the bush instead of being direct about it comes off as not having confidence, and frankly, doesn't help you out.

 

How long have to been talking to this girl?

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