Well well well.. Ex messages now wants to meet.

[Edi]

Good day ladies and gentleman.. Hope everyone is doing well. Im new to this page and looks like the legit place to help me iron out the wrinkles im having.

So i will go straight into it.

 

I met a girl a few years ago, high school chic. we started off in 2012 and almost made like 2 years and a few months. We grew apart since the beginning of this year and well she fell out of love with me. So me having 0 relationship experience had no idea how to handle it just did everything wrong.

 

Always trying to talk to her, begging her, giving her letters and trying to change her mind. Ultimately just lead to me giving 0 crap and going no contact. May i also mention she never made time for us to see each other and spent time together.

 

Unfortunately I was a very weak guy and i was such a loser. Apologising for things i never did and just trying to hold on to her. But i did great and the pain stopped and i was doing better.

 

Now messages start coming in, 1st one asking me how i was doing, 2nd saying how she was sorry, i just said it was ok. a week after message 3 came in. This involved a phone call, she said she wants to meet up whenever she has time. i said what for, she said just to talk. I dont really know the purpose of it but im willing to see what its about.

 

If we have a decent meet up i was thinking of asking her out or something, or even trying again with her you know. I did love her very much and we got along great. I made this thread because Ive been reading some posts and meeting up worked out well for some people while it didnt for others.

 

Im a man whos been through alot so meeting her up isnt really a problem for me. Im just chilling lol so i dont want to over think this situation.

 

You think she wants to try again tho? The way she speaked over the phone kind of gave that vibe, at the same time though she has not directly said anything. So guys what you say.??

[pizzaro]

She will suck you back in and wreck even bigger havoc on you. Ignore her messages and move on. Block her.

[phineas]

Me personally would ask the woman what she wants with me.

If she says "talk" I ask her about what.

 

Basically when a woman goes cold on me, flakes, fades, ends it, ect they better give me a damn good reason to want to see them.

[Popsicle]

I would never get back with someone who dumped me. Remember they dumped you for a reason, something that was compelling to them, and whatever it is that they want now with you can't be good (for you).

 

I also think it's a bad idea to be entertainment for attention whores.

[Edi]

I wont hide nothing i did come here for help. Its been feeding my ego a bit to get the messages and her feeling bad and sorry and what not. The times we had were really good and its the reason that placed me in the direction of asking her for another shot.

 

If she doesnt say she wants that well f*** her lol.. I'll move on and burn that bridge so there will be no crossing back.

 

I really dont know what to expect from this. I would like to give it another go maybe start over but only if she feels the same. if not...

 

Im gone! lol chucking up my deuces .

[Popsicle]

I wont hide nothing i did come here for help. Its been feeding my ego a bit to get the messages and her feeling bad and sorry and what not. The times we had were really good and its the reason that placed me in the direction of asking her for another shot.

 

If she doesnt say she wants that well f*** her lol.. I'll move on and burn that bridge so there will be no crossing back.

 

I really dont know what to expect from this. I would like to give it another go maybe start over but only if she feels the same. if not...

 

Im gone! lol chucking up my deuces .

 

Why would you ask her? She should be asking YOU. She's already here so she should be approaching you about it, not the other way around.

 

You gotta stop this begging thing...

[Popsicle]

If you feel that you have to ask her, or else the topic will never get broached, then she is only back for attention and to feed her ego.

 

I'm sorry I know it hurts to hear that but it's more beneficial for you to work with the truth.

[Edi]

So i definitely should not be bringing up trying again..?

[Edi]

If you feel that you have to ask her, or else the topic will never get broached, then she is only back for attention and to feed her ego.

 

I'm sorry I know it hurts to hear that but it's more beneficial for you to work with the truth.

 

Thats ok i would prefer the bruth truth anyday. I Really have no relationship experince other than this so im a complete fool when it comes to handling these things.

[Popsicle]

So i definitely should not be bringing up trying again..?

 

No.

 

And don't initiate anything with her first.

 

She dumped you and made you feel unwanted, so that is something SHE has to address if she wants back.

 

But of course, she may not want back, she may just want you to keep feeding her ego. That is to be determined and there are few ways for you to do that, except letting her ask for you back.

[Edi]

Whats the best thing you think i should do then? For me i was just gonna meet her and see what the deal was, if things were going well maybe go out again. But i really dont know what to do. And like you said she dumped me. So i am not gonna ask her to get back together. The fact is if i have to do that well it shows her mind set.

[Popsicle]

Whats the best thing you think i should do then? For me i was just gonna meet her and see what the deal was, if things were going well maybe go out again. But i really dont know what to do. And like you said she dumped me. So i am not gonna ask her to get back together. The fact is if i have to do that well it shows her mind set.

 

The best thing for you to do is- Stop thinking about her so much. Stop making plans and thinking about what the next step is. Think about other girls. Put your focus elsewhere. Let her do all the thinking and planning and contact you. (but don't count on it)

[Edi]

Its hard to not think about. Frustrates me alot.But at the end if she wants me she'll fight for me. If not. well thats the end of that.

 

Thank you very much Popsicle

[shyguy3543]

If I were in that position, I'd meet up if she suggested it. I'd hang out, just be myself, but not even hint at anything romantic. I'd kind of expect something to be said about the past and what led to the breakup or what she wants now. If she didn't bring it up by the end of the meetup, I still wouldn't bring it up.

 

If she suggested meeting up a second time, or even a third time, and STILL didn't bring up a conversation about why she reconnected with me, I'd ask her. If I were to like what she said, I'd probably be open to things. But this is her battle to win. If she wants you back, she has to chase you. Don't chase her!

[Haydn]

Turn up with a `bevvy` of blondes on each arm...

 

Or maybe not...

 

I don`t think you should meet her.

[kendahke]

Is she really feeling bad and sorry, or is it because it's the Christmas season and she got dumped by whomever she dumped you for and she doesn't want to be alone on NYE?

 

I'd tell her I was busy until the middle of March (to get past both Christmas and Valentine's Day), perhaps then she can call you back if she really needs to talk.

 

I'm suspicious of any ex popping up at this point in time--it's usually not about you, it's about them not wanting to be alone for the holidays and they think if they feed you enough hooey, they can lull you back into a stupor. Then once the holidays are over, they suddenly remember that things didn't work, they're confused (which is code for "there's someone else whose attention they want more, but they don't want to turn you loose in case it doesn't work out"), "it's not you, it's them", blah blah effin' blah.

Edited December 14, 2015 by kendahke