notinept Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Just wondering ... Are all of us on here, instead of actually getting out and living life, because we suffer from some form of relationship-retardation ? I ask because most of the people I know, in relatively successful relationships, have never been here or anywhere similar. Thoughts ?
mrldii Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Hmmmm...I believe the only thing every single one of us - and every single person who participates in online relating with others in any form/forum - is that we're not meeting our RDA of satisfactory human interaction whether our personal RDA is extremely high, extremely low, or anywhere in between. People who do meet their personal RDA for satisfactory human interaction in the real world, would most likely NOT log in, online. "Relationship retardation"? Nahhhh...probably only some. And those "some" are probably pretty obvious about within their posts.
Glitters Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Not retardation.Its easy to come and ask anonymously from various people than to ask someone close to you and get biased opinion. Relationships are not easy and we all need help getting by, without judgement 3
marcusdevilliers Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Im here because i never really had anyone to talk to. And the best advice i ever got came from here. Im now fully carrying out these advice and its working well. I think sometimes you just need more opinions from other people to help you in making the right decisions.
jen1447 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 About the only inference I make is that everyone who comes here likes it for some reason or other. 8
bluefeather Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Just wondering ... Are all of us on here, instead of actually getting out and living life... You make it sound like none of us here go out. Many of the posters here are "out there living life." We just come back here and talk about it. I'm not saying that's the case for everyone, but I don't see it quite that way. I ask because most of the people I know, in relatively successful relationships, have never been here or anywhere similar. As far as you know. Forums like this are all about anonymity. A lot of this information is very personal, and my participation on this forum is not something I would advertise with anyone close to me. 7
casey.lives Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm not here because of relationship retardation. If i had a relationship, i'd trust myself to deal with my situation. Im here because it's cold and im bored. 2
lana-banana Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I joined this site a long time ago when I was having relationship problems. I'm here today because I discovered I really enjoy hearing from people, reading their stories, and gaining new perspectives. 3
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 when i first came on here i must admit i was struggling......but that reason isnt the case now.....i like the people here....and even though this is an internet forum the people on here including myself have real lives......real problems...and i like to try and help as i was helped......deb 2
bluefeather Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 when i first came on here i must admit i was struggling......but that reason isnt the case now.....i like the people here....and even though this is an internet forum the people on here including myself have real lives......real problems...and i like to try and help as i was helped......deb I concur with that. I first came here because I was dealing with hard relationship issues of my own. These issues are healed and I am better off now. But I stuck around to sometimes give my own input in chance of helping others the way I was helped. I even became a paying member in a way to give thanks. I may not stay around much longer because the new year will bring new paths to my life, but it is nice to know that if I ever feel the need to post here again, there are others who will be there for me. This site is great. 2
basil67 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm here because I'm a carer and it's quite a socially isolating lifestyle. Nice to talk with people. 2
Wewon Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm 45 and been married for going on 13 years. Not having any major relationship problems. My reasons for being here are pretty simple: I get bored and sites like this have fast moving interesting subject matter.I identify with some people's experiences and like to give feedback that I wish I had been given when I was younger and feeling my way around.I like hearing different people's points of view on the same topics. We've all had our face palm moments in life, especially in romantic relationships. Most of us have beaten ourselves up pretty bad or otherwise felt kind of low because of our missteps. I would like to think that hearing from others who have been there and turned around could help others avoid the low points that I went through. I always think of how I would have fared of I had someone who could tell me that they went through the same thing and came out okay. 7
burnt Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 "Relationship retardation"? Nahhhh...probably only some. And those "some" are probably pretty obvious about within their posts. Yep--I'd fall into that category. And I like that phrase "relationship retardation"--it applies to me well. Interestingly enough, being able to openly (and anonymously) talk about my retardation, it's helping me a little on the self-acceptance front. Not to mention discovering other people who are/were residents of the same mental asylum I'm from makes me feel a little human every now and then. 2
loveflower Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 yep, retardation...and boredom thinking about someone makes you feeling very lonely.
loveflower Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I am thinking if and when the guy will come back and if and when I will leave this city... This sucks!
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 sometimes i come on here when things get really rough for me and i try and help others with their situations...offer advice..to see a bigger picture other than the trials i have......to get out of my own headspace and be a bit selfless instead of selfish.....and it works....like now...my girls arent with me this xmas they left today...so ... i have come on here because i am a bit down.....i think everyone has their own reasons for being here and every single one of them has validity....i had something wonderful happen last night though...i used to write on a poetry site and someone who i grew close too,she just found me on facebook by googling me and i though that was really special.we havent connected for over fifteen years...she remembered me which i find pretty wonderful...connections are made everywhere you go ...on the internet...on here on other sites....and sometimes you get lucky and make wonderful emotional connections......and that is all part of this life experience....its touching others hearts and having them touch yours that makes a huge difference ...and that is most certainly all real...and irreplaceable..deb...... 3
Redfisher Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I came here after my marriage of 10 years imploded... And have been doing very well on line dating so i stick around to help. And just to be a smart ass some days... 4
Gloria25 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm here sometimes out of: -Boredom -Interesting topics/opinions/viewpoints (and Loveshack has a very, very good variety and classification of topics) -Help/advice/venting -Wanting to impart my experience, opinions, advice - in hopes to help/share with others Look, IMO, we are gregarious creatures - we require contact/communication with others and we live in a technology driven world so us meeting/chatting here online may not be the same as meeting up in the Town Square in person - but it still meets our need to communicate with others in a "virtual" way I guess. As for us being "retarded" when it comes to RLs? I don't know. There are people out there "dating" and in "relationships/marriages/etc." that are f-d up to the 9th degree. So, just cuz they aren't on this message board doesn't mean they are doing fine. Reminds me of a Dane Cook joke where he was saying that 'people in relationships are like at party and when you're not in a relationship, you are the person outside of that party, in the rain/cold just wanting/wishing to be in that party cuz they look like they are having a great time...But guess what? In that party, all those people in "relationships" are screaming "get me out of here!!!!"' 2
acrosstheuniverse Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 (edited) Hmmmm...I believe the only thing every single one of us - and every single person who participates in online relating with others in any form/forum - is that we're not meeting our RDA of satisfactory human interaction whether our personal RDA is extremely high, extremely low, or anywhere in between. People who do meet their personal RDA for satisfactory human interaction in the real world, would most likely NOT log in, online. I disagree totally with this. Plenty of people must be like me and read the forum sometimes just simply out of interest in the topics discussed and not to get any kind of social interaction. It's not like most of the threads are chat threads where you make friends, it's usually a case of posting your opinion on someone's situation or asking about your own, and then moving on, maybe replying to a couple of replies but I wouldn't say this place meets any requirements for social interaction. Of which I have tonnes in real life! I'm with people, colleagues and patients all day at work talking incessantly, see my friends a lot, have a happy cohabiting relationship, if anything sometimes coming here is a relief away from social interaction as it's less intense than speaking to friends on facebook but worth reading if you're interested in interpersonal relationships. I think you're ignoring the vast vast numbers of people out there in unhappy relationships who'd never think to check into a forum for advice on their situation, which could actually help them. I started reading the forum years and years ago, probably ten years, and read from time to time for years before ever posting. It wasn't a difficult relationship situation that brought me here, just boredom and exploring the internet. And I've had my share of relationships and breakups since but I wouldn't say anything out of the ordinary or that you could describe as retardation. My current relationship is happy and problem-free, I don't come for that. It's also in my nature to want to help others, when they're seeking it. It's what I do in my day job and my voluntary job. It's nice to be able to do it casually at home whenever I feel like it. Edited December 14, 2015 by acrosstheuniverse 7
Michelle ma Belle Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 I disagree totally with this. Plenty of people must be like me and read the forum sometimes just simply out of interest in the topics discussed and not to get any kind of social interaction. It's not like most of the threads are chat threads where you make friends, it's usually a case of posting your opinion on someone's situation or asking about your own, and then moving on, maybe replying to a couple of replies but I wouldn't say this place meets any requirements for social interaction. Of which I have tonnes in real life! I'm with people, colleagues and patients all day at work talking incessantly, see my friends a lot, have a happy cohabiting relationship, if anything sometimes coming here is a relief away from social interaction as it's less intense than speaking to friends on facebook but worth reading if you're interested in interpersonal relationships. I think you're ignoring the vast vast numbers of people out there in unhappy relationships who'd never think to check into a forum for advice on their situation, which could actually help them. I started reading the forum years and years ago, probably ten years, and read from time to time for years before ever posting. It wasn't a difficult relationship situation that brought me here, just boredom and exploring the internet. And I've had my share of relationships and breakups since but I wouldn't say anything out of the ordinary or that you could describe as retardation. My current relationship is happy and problem-free, I don't come for that. It's also in my nature to want to help others, when they're seeking it. It's what I do in my day job and my voluntary job. It's nice to be able to do it casually at home whenever I feel like it. I second this. 1
MissBee Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 Just wondering ... Are all of us on here, instead of actually getting out and living life, because we suffer from some form of relationship-retardation ? I ask because most of the people I know, in relatively successful relationships, have never been here or anywhere similar. Thoughts ? Nope. It's nonsense to believe that people only use online forums because they have no life and relationship "retardation." Although we're all here, we all come here for different reasons and participate in different ways. Yes, some people here probably have no life or suffer from "relationship retardation" and it may come across in the types of threads they make or their constant lament of never dating, having no friends etc. Others, clearly date a lot and have a social life, hence they have stuff to ask about on LS based on their encounters during their dating and social life. I think the clue may be more in the kinds of posts or problems people seem to have versus simply the fact that they post here at all. I have always liked forums. LS is the only relationship-based forum I'm on, well it's the only forum I post on now, I read other forums like food and lifestyle forums but don't post. I came here because of a break up initially. I was sick of bothering my real life friends about it so took to bothering anonymous strangers . I posted on and off and then probably left for a year or two before returning. Even these days, life has gotten busier, so I'm not on as much. But when I do come on, it has nothing to do with having no life or relationship retardation...that premise really makes no sense. The time I spend on LS is a very small chunk of my day, my week, my month, my whole year. Even while on LS, I am usually muti-tasking (or procrastinating usually ), I have several tabs open with other things I am reading or looking at for my "real life," my phone is beside me and I sometimes have friends, love interests etc messaging me....and once I get off LS I go and live my life. It is silly to think participating on LS means that something is automatically wrong with you or that you are glued to LS 24 hours a day and don't have a job, career, friends, family, relationship or anything. Like that makes zero sense lol
MissBee Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 You make it sound like none of us here go out. Many of the posters here are "out there living life." We just come back here and talk about it. I'm not saying that's the case for everyone, but I don't see it quite that way. As far as you know. Forums like this are all about anonymity. A lot of this information is very personal, and my participation on this forum is not something I would advertise with anyone close to me. Funny you should say this. Once I logged on to LS in my school's library and was like omg, let me log out, as truth is, it is anonymous and you have NO IDEA who is posting! People around me could very well be LS users too but it's never come up as a point of conversation and that day in the library I didn't want anyone to see me on LS and find out they used it too and then they're like MissBee! That's you?? LMAO!
sambolini Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 About the only inference I make is that everyone who comes here likes it for some reason or other. Pretty much this. I find it entertaining! I mean, "relationship retardation" gave me a good belly laugh.
bluefeather Posted December 17, 2015 Posted December 17, 2015 Funny you should say this. Once I logged on to LS in my school's library and was like omg, let me log out, as truth is, it is anonymous and you have NO IDEA who is posting! People around me could very well be LS users too but it's never come up as a point of conversation and that day in the library I didn't want anyone to see me on LS and find out they used it too and then they're like MissBee! That's you?? LMAO! I think if two random LS members ever accidently discover each other irl, and are both single, they should go out on one date just for the heck of it.
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