Xiomn Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) Basically I got this girls number and she agreed to go out for a drink with me but she said she's going home tomorrow for Christmas (which everybody here is doing at the moment since last day of term has just finished) and has lots of packing to do today, so we agreed it will have to be after New Years when term starts up again and everybody moves back to university. That's in about 3 weeks or so time, so my question is Do I continue to text her over this period so she doesn't forget me so to speak or should I just leave it at "Have a good Christmas, I'll see you in the New year'. or something to that effect? Meanwhile continue to date other girls in the meantime. I'm wary of texting people before going out on a date because I want to save the opportunity to talk and get to now each other on the date itself because it'll make it less awkward if there's more stuff for us to talk about on it. Opinions? Edited December 13, 2015 by Xiomn
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You can text her a bit. Maybe Merry Christmas on Christmas Eve & Happy New Year on NYE then perhaps a safe travels back to school. Don't overwhelm her. If she gives more contact go with it. 4
hasaquestion Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You can text her a bit. Maybe Merry Christmas on Christmas Eve & Happy New Year on NYE then perhaps a safe travels back to school. Don't overwhelm her. If she gives more contact go with it. Agreed. Don't have conversation. That's what the date is for. 2
Unsuretrying Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I agree. Send her A FEW texts throughout the course of the few weeks. If a guy texts me a lot for weeks before we go on a date, even if we have good convo, I tend to lose interest. Not sure why it's just kinda how it goes. 3
Author Xiomn Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 She told me to text her sometime after her giving me her number so I texted her just saying it was me from blah blah so she has my number too. Now she's texting me all like "now we can get to know each other" Looks like am going to have to play along, even though i'd rather get to know her in person.
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 If she's blowing up your phone, that's a good sign There's a concept in sales that the buyer sets the terms. Right now you are "selling" you to her. If she wants lots of texts, then give them to her. Keep it light. Hope ur having a good date emojiis etc 2
Versacehottie Posted December 14, 2015 Posted December 14, 2015 If she's blowing up your phone, that's a good sign There's a concept in sales that the buyer sets the terms. Right now you are "selling" you to her. If she wants lots of texts, then give them to her. Keep it light. Hope ur having a good date emojiis etc Another genius statement from you!!! Yes, OP, keep it light but do respond. Try to leave space by letting her know in one of your initial texts how busy your holiday is--that way she won't attribute the level of contact to how much you like her. Here's my thought on how you should handle the 'content' of the texts because I agree with you wholeheartedly, it's dumb to get to know someone in advance of the date, kinda takes the wind out of the sails, makes the date lackluster typically and agree it is smarter to put the "getting-to-know" you on ice in order to preserve the chance of a good date/relationship. So for the content: don't talk about you in the past, people you know in common, your overall deep thoughts or general insight into your personality, things you like, your goals etc. Keep the text conversation firmly in the present. Things you are doing during your vacation. IF because of discussing those things that are in your present, you end up going a bit deeper, that's ok. Try to do the same with whatever she is talking about. Keep it on current activities. "I just got back from snowboarding." etc. That way any connection you are developing over text is set in the now and is a "real" connection because it is based in the now and unfolding of your current life. Also it keeps things in perspective and more neutral, saving the emotionally charged stuff for the in-person date. 1
Author Xiomn Posted December 17, 2015 Author Posted December 17, 2015 I haven't even contacted her in almost 4 days now. She sent the last message, we were flirting and she was very receptive. Might text her again to gauge her interest level. Not sure what to say though, maybe just ask what she's up to now that she is home for the holidays or some boring small talk rubbish?
newt Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 Basically I got this girls number and she agreed to go out for a drink with me but she said she's going home tomorrow for Christmas (which everybody here is doing at the moment since last day of term has just finished) and has lots of packing to do today, so we agreed it will have to be after New Years when term starts up again and everybody moves back to university. That's in about 3 weeks or so time, so my question is Do I continue to text her over this period so she doesn't forget me so to speak or should I just leave it at "Have a good Christmas, I'll see you in the New year'. or something to that effect? Meanwhile continue to date other girls in the meantime. I'm wary of texting people before going out on a date because I want to save the opportunity to talk and get to now each other on the date itself because it'll make it less awkward if there's more stuff for us to talk about on it. Opinions? I'm in the same situation and expressed to this girl that I want to see her after the holidays and she was like......"sure" So now I am trying to figure out how do I interact with her between now and the 1st week of January.
newt Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 You can text her a bit. Maybe Merry Christmas on Christmas Eve & Happy New Year on NYE then perhaps a safe travels back to school. Don't overwhelm her. If she gives more contact go with it. I am in the same situation as the OP and I was thinking the same, a text on christmas eve or day and a happy new year I made a promise not to talk on the phone long with a woman I am interested in starting in 2016.
newt Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 I haven't even contacted her in almost 4 days now. She sent the last message, we were flirting and she was very receptive. Might text her again to gauge her interest level. Not sure what to say though, maybe just ask what she's up to now that she is home for the holidays or some boring small talk rubbish? Think about something relevant you can text her about before Christmas. Like what I plan to do with the girl I am seeing after the holiday is text her tomorrow afternoon and mention how it's her last day of work before she goes on vacation and to enjoy her vacation. After that she won't hear from me until Christmas Day
beloved1985 Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 Basically I got this girls number and she agreed to go out for a drink with me but she said she's going home tomorrow for Christmas (which everybody here is doing at the moment since last day of term has just finished) and has lots of packing to do today, so we agreed it will have to be after New Years when term starts up again and everybody moves back to university. That's in about 3 weeks or so time, so my question is Do I continue to text her over this period so she doesn't forget me so to speak or should I just leave it at "Have a good Christmas, I'll see you in the New year'. or something to that effect? Meanwhile continue to date other girls in the meantime. I'm wary of texting people before going out on a date because I want to save the opportunity to talk and get to now each other on the date itself because it'll make it less awkward if there's more stuff for us to talk about on it. Opinions? Don't text her too much if you are not sure. Let conversation for a date.
Zippy2000 Posted December 18, 2015 Posted December 18, 2015 Well, its good to invest in this period. I know 3 weeks sound slike a long time but keep busy and do other things during this time. You have to give her the benefit of the doubt and beleive she is going away for Christmas and at this time of year it is totally valid. Some people or some girls want to give it a bit of time to see how consistent you are with texts or how you react with her. Remember for girls its different and she needs to filter you out as not being a sex pest, rapist or worst still a serial killer. So some women need time to get to know you. Invest in her if you think shes worth it. If by New Year she flakes then you`ll know.
Author Xiomn Posted January 7, 2016 Author Posted January 7, 2016 Dear diary: Been waiting 3 weeks (concentrating on other girls in the meantime) Our date was supposed to be today after I got back in contact and discussed details etc earlier on the previous week, she agreed eagerly. She messaged me the day prior to see if we were still on for our date (I'll be damned, a girl initiated) Woke up this morning nervous as hell to the point I was a bit nauseous, went out and brushed myself up, got a nice haircut. 1.5 hours before the date I get a text at 12:30 saying she woke up with a headache and is feeling horrible, asked to postpone it (nothing specific) Told her no problem and hope she feels better. Going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully she'll get back in touch in a day or two time. Still seems a bit weird though, been waiting all this time then comes the day of action finally and just so happens 1.5 hours before the date something happens.
Versacehottie Posted January 8, 2016 Posted January 8, 2016 Dear diary: Been waiting 3 weeks (concentrating on other girls in the meantime) Our date was supposed to be today after I got back in contact and discussed details etc earlier on the previous week, she agreed eagerly. She messaged me the day prior to see if we were still on for our date (I'll be damned, a girl initiated) Woke up this morning nervous as hell to the point I was a bit nauseous, went out and brushed myself up, got a nice haircut. 1.5 hours before the date I get a text at 12:30 saying she woke up with a headache and is feeling horrible, asked to postpone it (nothing specific) Told her no problem and hope she feels better. Going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully she'll get back in touch in a day or two time. Still seems a bit weird though, been waiting all this time then comes the day of action finally and just so happens 1.5 hours before the date something happens. Yeah, yuck. Not cool. I call bullsh*t. Let her make the next move.
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