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Is my ex still attracted to me?


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Posted

So she cheated on me after a crazily intense 6 months together, I suspect partly because she found a much better looking guy.

 

A year later, she found out that I know that she cheated, so she pleaded to meet up to apologise. We met up last night and it turned out that she had been feeling nostalgic, as a result of people mentioning me and her reading her diaries from the period. She had also started to feel very guilty as she found out that I had been really depressed following my discovery of her infidelity.

 

We met up, she apologised, we reminisced, then she began to praise me constantly and touch my leg. Inevitably, we ended up having sex. Now I'm wondering, was she doing this out of just guilt and nostalgia, or does she continue to find me attractive - throughout our reltionship she would tell me how attractive she thought I was, but this was a time ago now.

 

I know you guys will suggest it doesn't matter, and it doesn't really, but humour me on this one.

Posted

Guilt sex. Move on you have no future here with all this baggage.

Posted

I bet she was. Stay away from her and move on friend.

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Posted
I bet she was. Stay away from her and move on friend.

 

So you don't think she finds me good looking anymore?

Posted

She probably always thought you were good-looking, and I doubt that's changed.

 

But as a woman, I can tell you it's not that important. If she was willing to step out and cheat, being good-looking really doesn't mean anything.

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Posted
She probably always thought you were good-looking, and I doubt that's changed.

 

But as a woman, I can tell you it's not that important. If she was willing to step out and cheat, being good-looking really doesn't mean anything.

 

 

You don't think looks impacted upon her decision to cheat then?

Posted
You don't think looks impacted upon her decision to cheat then?

 

If she did you'll find out in due course.

Posted

Perhaps...but it's just as likely that she enjoyed the ego boost knowing that you still have feelings for her despite her betrayal.

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Posted
Perhaps...but it's just as likely that she enjoyed the ego boost knowing that you still have feelings for her despite her betrayal.

 

 

When I say attracted, I mean does she still find me good looking, rather than does she want to get back together. What do you think?

 

Also, is this a subconscious thing? I can't imagine how callous someone would have to be to consciously gain an ego boost from someone they had betrayed so badly.

Posted
When I say attracted, I mean does she still find me good looking, rather than does she want to get back together. What do you think?

 

Also, is this a subconscious thing? I can't imagine how callous someone would have to be to consciously gain an ego boost from someone they had betrayed so badly.

Clearly she likes you, or else she wouldn't dance on your pole. Does she close her eyes during sex, or does she look at you? The only way you're going to know if you're a 7 or a 9 in her eyes is to ask her. I'm curious what difference it makes to you what she thinks.

 

The more important possibility is that what you may have on your hands there is a girl who is willing to have a long term, non-exclusive relationship with you. If you've gotten over the whole "I'm in love" or "I was betrayed" thing, and you sincerely like spending time with her, then this girl could be a real gift.

 

Let's say you go through a dry spell, and the kind of girls you want to date don't seem to be coming your way... she'll be there.

 

What if you need a date to the company Christmas party, and for whatever reason you can't take whoever you're seeing? She'll be there.

 

Let's say the girl you're seeing can't go on vacation with you, or get away for the weekend. She'll be there.

 

When you just get out of a long term relationship, and you need a little batting practice to get back out on the field... she'll be there.

 

I had one of those. It was the best, and it lasted almost 10 years. We still see each other once or twice a year (not in that way), and we still like spending time with each other. Should my situation ever change.... she'll probably be there.

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