Lobouspo Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Say your relationship is going south, but you know an immediate breakup would still be painful. If you slowly become distant to detach yourself emotionally, will this make the eventual split easier to deal with?
marky00 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Say your relationship is going south, but you know an immediate breakup would still be painful. If you slowly become distant to detach yourself emotionally, will this make the eventual split easier to deal with? Most, if not all dumpers do this exactly. They have long checked out (can be months or even years) before the BU actually occurs. This allows them to ween themselves off the relationship and also make a few token efforts on the way out in an attempt to leave a positive impression on the dumpee that they were at least trying to make things work. If your a potential dumpee.... its probably a very risky strategy. With my last relationship.... I did sense BU looming so I did sort of prepare myself for one... but I kept contributing and being positive in the relationship till the end.
geronimo Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I don't think so, I hate playing games when you're in a relationship and if you're losing feelings for the person I think you should be straight up about it and talk it out with them. I had my ex slowly start checking out of the relationship and one day she just pulled the plug, tbh I still didn't really see it coming and it didn't make it any better, just made me doubt myself and the relationship a lot more. 1
mightycpa Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Say your relationship is going south, but you know an immediate breakup would still be painful. If you slowly become distant to detach yourself emotionally, will this make the eventual split easier to deal with?It will make it easier on one of you, but probably not both. 1
Wewon Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Say your relationship is going south, but you know an immediate breakup would still be painful. If you slowly become distant to detach yourself emotionally, will this make the eventual split easier to deal with? For the dumper it will but for the dumpee will likely feel anxiety, self-doubt and resentment. Even if its painful, most people prefer to know where they stand rather than go through a period of wondering what why their relationship is going south.
Mcnulty Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 God, no. April, I challenged her as to how I felt like a performer on a stage, that I had fleeting time to perform to my fullest whenever I was with her. She had the chance there and then to end it and be honest with me, but no, she made a good effort to see me for a few weeks and bam, back to passive aggressive behaviour, barely seeing her, basically she was unavailable, but wouldn't let me go. 6 months later, i hadn't seen her in 2 months, i was bereft, so low, self esteem and confidence were in the gutter and i actually wrote down, that it was going to end soon...and it did...October, the sick games ended, I plucked up the courage to end it. However, now, lonely as hell, no self esteem or confidence, she took it all..slowly over the last few months. I wish, in April, I'd had the courage to walk away, I didn't and i regret not leaving a relationship that was in it's embers, so my advice is, be honest/transparent and leave if it's not going to last. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Being straightforward & clear often reduces the overall resentment rather than leaving the poor person wondering. 1
Neffer Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Just be a decent person, man up and break things off cleanly. Fading away or ghosting someone is a massively sh**ty way to handle anything. It will make it easier for the dumper, but you will have to face the fact that only a coward would do such a thing. It causes the dumpee more pain, more anxiety, more self doubt, more damage to their ego than a clean breakup will....its just an awful way to do things. Breaking up, being left, is bad enough without doing them further damage. Be a compassionate person, not a selfish, cruel coward.
casey.lives Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Does a gradual fade out make breaking up easier? NO!
Amelie1980 Posted December 15, 2015 Posted December 15, 2015 Does a gradual fade out make breaking up easier? NO! It does make it easier .....for the dumper!
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