gogobob1 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) I met a girl in high school, but we never really talked. Then we texted for a while near the end of the year. We ended up going to the same college, neither of is met other people that we really connected with, and we became really good friends and did everything together. First semester just ended, I asked her to be my girlfriend and told her how I felt, she said yes, but now I'm confused. I'm in love with her and have been for a while. She said she has liked me for a while. However, it seems like she really doesn't care much and she doesn't seem to miss me when I'm gone. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Is she unsure of our relationship? This is how she responds to my text messages: Me: Hope you had a great first day back home, I'd love to hear about it. Aaron and Kat want to do a double date eventually, but I also want to find some time for us to hangout. I'll text you tomorrow and we can talk about it. Good night Jenn. Her: Okay sounds good, goodnight But that's just one example. She never seems to care that much. And she does text other people. She is obviously not enthralled like I am. What do I do? Edited December 13, 2015 by gogobob1
Samhain Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Hard to tell from such little information. Maybe you should stop coming across as so eager, be more distant, less consistently open.. Let her think you have other options. College age is the age of options and regrets. If you don't want to be either one, let her think she might be one. Absolutely do not sound "enthralled" when the other person clearly is not. 3
yourownchicken Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 She is obviously not enthralled like I am. What do I do? Well now... There is a big part of the issue there. I don't have a lot to go off of but does she like you? like now? Don't put too much stock into it, but keep it in mind for things you are looking for in a relationship. But idk... is she like happy? Like how are we doin? Kissing? Like... Is she doing anything to show that she likes you? And is it a big deal to you? I'd start by figuring out those questions first. Sorry youre havin trouble, yourownchicken
Author gogobob1 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 I'm not trying to play some weird relationship game where I have to pretend I don't care about her. I want to be honest and if she doesn't like me, then why would she say yes to being my girlfriend after all this time? She seems happy when we hangout, yes. It's just that I put so much effort into showing her that I love her and that she is worth my time, and she does nothing. If she isn't crazy about me, then I need to know so that I can put my guard up.
Gaeta Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm not trying to play some weird relationship game where I have to pretend I don't care about her. I want to be honest and if she doesn't like me, then why would she say yes to being my girlfriend after all this time? She seems happy when we hangout, yes. It's just that I put so much effort into showing her that I love her and that she is worth my time, and she does nothing. If she isn't crazy about me, then I need to know so that I can put my guard up. How old are you 2? Is it your and hers first relationship? People all have different dating style. Some people are very attentive and others are very independent. Dating is about finding someone that you mesh well with. If her style of dating leaves you always craving for more than that is not the girl for you. You need someone that is more demonstrative and is more connected and intimate.
d0nnivain Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Try spending more time with her. She may not want to text you because she'd rather be with you in person.
angel.eyes Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Let's go back and look at the exchange that you use as an example: She said she has liked me for a while. However, it seems like she really doesn't care much and she doesn't seem to miss me when I'm gone. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Is she unsure of our relationship? This is how she responds to my text messages: Me: ...I'll text you tomorrow and we can talk about it. Good night Jenn. Her: Okay sounds good, goodnight What is she supposed to respond to? You tell her you want to continue the conversation tomorrow and tell her goodnight. Is she supposed to insist on dragging out communication when you are clearly done for the night? If you want communication to flow, then don't shut it down become it even starts. Encourage it to continue instead. For example: Aaron and Kat want to double date. What do you think?
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 You have been in love with her for awhile.....she isn't in love with you....this relationship is out of balance and this will cause problems. Already you want to push this issue and if you do she will feel pressured and back out. You are going to have to be patient for her to have her feelings catch up. It is way more difficult to get the chemistry started when you have been friends, due to the fact you already know each other well so there is not mystery, no discovering who they are, nothing is new. It's that newness that sparks the romance. You want things to heat up sexually first. She needs to feel sexually desired not loved. Throw in a sexy comment, tease her, etc. This has to build up in order for that spark to happen. As of now you are treating her the way you always have.....like friends.
Versacehottie Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I'm not trying to play some weird relationship game where I have to pretend I don't care about her. I want to be honest and if she doesn't like me, then why would she say yes to being my girlfriend after all this time? She seems happy when we hangout, yes. It's just that I put so much effort into showing her that I love her and that she is worth my time, and she does nothing. If she isn't crazy about me, then I need to know so that I can put my guard up. Well, for some people especially at the beginning it can be "too much" so it's not a game to temper yourself and set a pace that works for both of you. I didn't happen to think your text example was too much though. But also while very brief, maybe you shouldn't read too much into her response. She may not be a big texter, may be more of a blunt person in general. Plus so much gets misconstrued via text, it would be bad to make a relationship decision based solely on your text interactions. Ok, but here's the bottom line, two people can want in their hearts and minds to date but once they start dating it becomes very apparent that their dating styles and needs are very different and they are not a match. This might just be one of those. The process of dating IS the process of figuring this out. Not saying you should pull the plug but keep your eye on it, make sure your expectations are reasonable and maybe talk to her about some of it and see if she can put some more effort into what you need. Expecting the other person to be perfect and meet all of our needs perfectly just isn't reasonable--but you have to make sure it falls within a range that makes you feel happy and cared for--otherwise you just aren't right for each other. Good luck
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