Tonic Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I was thinking about trying my luck with a bit of online dating. Was just after a few experiences from those who have tried. Was it worth it? Can any real relationship come from meeting someone online on sites such as plenty of fish (P.o.f)
deckard11 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Online dating didn't work for me one bit. I would message countless women and would never even get the courtesy of a reply. In my opinion it only works for the "beautiful people". But best of luck to you if you do try it. But sites like POF have the reputation for being a "hook up" site. I guess if you want to meet someone genuine who's not looking for just sex then you'll probably have to use pay sites like Match and Eharmony.
Author Tonic Posted December 13, 2015 Author Posted December 13, 2015 Yeah I have seen a few post about the free dating sites being rubbish but I might just give it a go and if nothing comes of it use something like eharmony
phineas Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Elitesingles is a pay site also but never heard of it untik recently. This time of year is rough with online if you are in a northern state. Women seem to hibernate until Feb.
van smack Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I think it's horrendous. I'm on match through mid March and it really seems like it's hard to get to know girls through there. I might take a shot at its just lunch next spring or summer.
Redfisher Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) POF worked really well for me, I had a plan. I spent time on good pics and a decent profile. Then I sent out about 100 messages with the intent to date 10 different girls and settle on the best match. I'm just a small town guy with a high-school education only and a factory worker... (Not some fancy pretty boy although the beard,tattoos and muscles do help) Anyways it was a little slow at first but then bam had dates coming in really fast. Most were educated women with great careers like cops,nurse,teachers etc. Most were divorced from jerks and looking for a good guy.I made it to number 8, a really sweet school teacher and we are in love.. My results may not be the norm but if i can do it anyone can. My advice, Just have a plan and get out on dates, When you do something wrong or it doesn't work out learn and apply to next date...Soon you will be a pro... Also if its all head shots and average listed as body type she's a fatty, I got to the point of asking for a full body pic...haha Edited December 13, 2015 by Redfisher not enough coffee 3
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 POF worked really well for me, I had a plan. I spent time on good pics and a decent profile. Then I sent out about 100 messages with the intent to date 10 different girls and settle on the best match. I'm just a small town guy with a high-school education only and a factory worker... (Not some fancy pretty boy although the beard,tattoos and muscles do help) Anyways it was a little slow at first but then bam had dates coming in really fast. Most were educated women with great careers like cops,nurse,teachers etc. Most were divorced from jerks and looking for a good guy.I made it to number 8, a really sweet school teacher and we are in love.. My results may not be the norm but if i can do it anyone can. My advice, Just have a plan and get out on dates, When you do something wrong or it doesn't work out learn and apply to next date...Soon you will be a pro... Also if its all head shots and average listed as body type she's a fatty, I got to the point of asking for a full body pic...haha Funny, your small town probably has more available, thin women than my area. Where I live it's mostly white trash heffers the size of a dump truck. A lot of them think tobacco products are part of the major food groups. lol Of course, you'll get the occasional attractive, thinner woman and usually it's because they've moved here recently due to wanting to be closer to their parents or job opportunity. But they've remained to their unrealistic standards in a man from whatever big city they moved from to live in a backwater town...and of course remain online indefinitely. They realize, "Crap, mostly rednecks and retirees around here!" and hop online. Anyone that's attractive that I see out and about in the area at LEAST has a boyfriend or married which is typical of small town living. The available attractive to me women in the area are usually spoken for. I usually head an hour away to the big city to meet those that DO have all their front teeth intact at least.
Redfisher Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Funny, your small town probably has more available, thin women than my area. Where I live it's mostly white trash heffers the size of a dump truck. A lot of them think tobacco products are part of the major food groups. lol Of course, you'll get the occasional attractive, thinner woman and usually it's because they've moved here recently due to wanting to be closer to their parents or job opportunity. But they've remained to their unrealistic standards in a man from whatever big city they moved from to live in a backwater town...and of course remain online indefinitely. They realize, "Crap, mostly rednecks and retirees around here!" and hop online. Anyone that's attractive that I see out and about in the area at LEAST has a boyfriend or married which is typical of small town living. The available attractive to me women in the area are usually spoken for. I usually head an hour away to the big city to meet those that DO have all their front teeth intact at least. I was thinking its actually a case of not very many good men in my area...As most of the woman i dated complain of not finding any good guys.... 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 I was thinking its actually a case of not very many good men in my area...As most of the woman i dated complain of not finding any good guys.... Well, that statement is uttered by single women no matter where you're located. :-)
Redfisher Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Well, that statement is uttered by single women no matter where you're located. :-) HAha very true... I can tell you this nothing compares to a 35 year old divorced single mom who has not had sex in 2 years....Omg amazing...Some used me for sex...maybe, but I'm not complaining.
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 ..Some used me for sex...maybe, but I'm not complaining. Meh, not my style.
Gaeta Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Considering 75% of single people have an online profile somewhere it would be counter productive for you to not try it. You need patience and a good dosage of 'I don't care'. Once you understand very little people on there are serious and you'll have to skim through a lot of profile you'll be ok. I have been doing online for close to 4 years and met 100s of men and still single. On the other hand I have family members and friends who have found quite quickly and are now in happy relationships. Each experience is different. You have to make your own.
hippychick3 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Many, many people have had success with it. I met my boyfriend on Match, and we've been together 2 1/2 years. It's the best relationship he and I have ever had. People who use online dating as their medium to meet others are no different than people you would meet out in public or through friends. It's just a tool.
Redfisher Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Meh, not my style. And hows that working for you? Sometimes if you step out of your style you'll find what may work....Not saying just go out and bang sluts but its all practice that can be learned from.
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 And hows that working for you? Sometimes if you step out of your style you'll find what may work....Not saying just go out and bang sluts but its all practice that can be learned from. How's NOT letting women using for me working for me? It's working, so far I haven't had let women use me for sex. So kudos to me. ;-) 1
oberkeat Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 (edited) I was thinking about trying my luck with a bit of online dating. Was just after a few experiences from those who have tried. Was it worth it? Can any real relationship come from meeting someone online on sites such as plenty of fish (P.o.f) In my opinion, no. Much of this I've said before. But it's worth repeating so you don't venture into the cesspool of the online dating world thinking it's actually a good way to find a relationship: In many ways getting a relationship online is even harder than finding one offline. Online, women can't really get a sense of a man's game. All they have to go on is what they write in their profile. Also, its such a sausage fest; the ratio of men to women on those sites is like 3:1. The result is that the average woman is getting messages from every dude with access to a computer, so it's easy for girls to get ADD and move on to the next guy's profile at the drop of a hat, even if the conversation is going great. And no matter how many quality men they meet, they will always think there's a better option out there. A lot of gals become serial daters before they even realize it, basically screwing themselves out of actually forming relationships because they can't pick from the endless options. Either that, or they bow out completely because they're overwhelmed by all the messages. Additionally, the majority of folks who do online dating, men and women, do online so they don't have to compete with men and women of higher value in the real world. Consequently, the majority of people you meet online will have some type of issue that's keeping them single and are undatable. I met girls with low self esteem, no personality, stds, passive aggressivity, serial daters, college dropouts, anxiety issues, divorcees, women on the rebound from long term relationships, workaholics. And of course tons of overweight women. Looking back, none of the women I met online was relationship material. Women who are truly relationship material have no need to go online to find a quality man. They have no trouble attracting men in the real world. The OLD format is just too flawed. You might hear anecdotes here and there about folks for whom it worked, but in reality, the percentage of couples who met online is in the single digits. My advice is to OP is to ditch online dating altogether and focus on what you can do to meet the opposite sex in the real world. Edited December 13, 2015 by oberkeat 2
Redfisher Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 How's NOT letting women using for me working for me? It's working, so far I haven't had let women use me for sex. So kudos to me. ;-) I wish you well, Enjoy your Sunday.
hippychick3 Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 in the real world. Consequently, the majority of people you meet online will have some type of issue that's keeping them single and are undatable. I met girls with low self esteem, no personality, stds, passive aggressivity, serial daters, college dropouts, anxiety issues, divorcees, women on the rebound from long term relationships, workaholics. And of course tons of overweight women. Looking back, none of the women I met online was relationship material. Women who are truly relationship material have no need to go online to find a quality man. They have no trouble attracting men in the real world. Sounds like you have had some pretty bad experiences and are using those anecdotal experiences to make sweeping generalizations. I am educated, attractive, and very confident. I chose to use online in addition to real life because I don't like dating anyone in my work environment, don't pick up men in bars, and my friends are either married, single women, or single men who I wouldn't want to date. I've been approached often in the real world in bars, coffee shops, and my kids' events...but haven't been interested enough in those men. I've met many successful, good-looking, and normal men through online dating. There are a lot of "bad seeds" out there, but there are definitely great catches out there if you can weed through all the rest. It's just like real life with a wider net.
Gaeta Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 And of course tons of overweight women. Looking back, none of the women I met online was relationship material. Women who are truly relationship material have no need to go online to find a quality man. They have no trouble attracting men in the real world. What you find online is only the representation of real life. If you are Americans than you know 68% of your population is overweight so it's normal 68% of people online are overweight. Did you expect online dating was like shopping in a Victoria's Secret magazine? 5
hasaquestion Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 Sounds like you have had some pretty bad experiences and are using those anecdotal experiences to make sweeping generalizations. I am educated, attractive, and very confident. I chose to use online in addition to real life because I don't like dating anyone in my work environment, don't pick up men in bars, and my friends are either married, single women, or single men who I wouldn't want to date. I've been approached often in the real world in bars, coffee shops, and my kids' events...but haven't been interested enough in those men. I've met many successful, good-looking, and normal men through online dating. There are a lot of "bad seeds" out there, but there are definitely great catches out there if you can weed through all the rest. It's just like real life with a wider net. But its nothing like real life. To use a cards analogy, in Texas Hold 'em, the player gets a chance to check or fold each time a card is revealed. If card A is revealed before card B, you might make a very different decision about whether to check/call/fold/raise than if card B is revealed before card A. The people are the same ones you see in real life but the process is so different. OP, think of it as a résumé versus an interview. Some people have great résumés but are a shoddy interview. Some people have plain résumés but stand out in an interview setting. Some people have a bad résumé and don't interview well on top of that. Some people are great at both. Which are you? If being charming, confident, well-dressed, gregarious, quick-witted, or bright is what makes you stand out in the world.... you're not going to stand out on a dating website. You want people to see that first, not some cropped iphone photo of you at a bar. On the other hand, if you're a shy person or inexperienced with women but nervous, but look good and are good "on paper", a profile on a dating site might actually help you out - in the proverbial game of poker, the first card that is revealed is your best card. 1
Snakechammah Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 What you find online is only the representation of real life. If you are Americans than you know 68% of your population is overweight so it's normal 68% of people online are overweight. Did you expect online dating was like shopping in a Victoria's Secret magazine? Hehe Gaeta, you always have the best quotes! 1
phineas Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 POF worked really well for me, I had a plan. I spent time on good pics and a decent profile. Then I sent out about 100 messages with the intent to date 10 different girls and settle on the best match. I'm just a small town guy with a high-school education only and a factory worker... (Not some fancy pretty boy although the beard,tattoos and muscles do help) Anyways it was a little slow at first but then bam had dates coming in really fast. Most were educated women with great careers like cops,nurse,teachers etc. Most were divorced from jerks and looking for a good guy.I made it to number 8, a really sweet school teacher and we are in love.. My results may not be the norm but if i can do it anyone can. My advice, Just have a plan and get out on dates, When you do something wrong or it doesn't work out learn and apply to next date...Soon you will be a pro... Also if its all head shots and average listed as body type she's a fatty, I got to the point of asking for a full body pic...haha The fact you found 100 women worth messaging on POF tells me your town isn't quite as small as you think it is. I can't find 50 women aged 35 to 45 in my area that list a real profession on POF or don't have "YOLO" plastered all over their profile. OK cupid is worse. I think they are all on Tinder now which is useless if you arn't in decent shape.
oberkeat Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 What you find online is only the representation of real life. If you are Americans than you know 68% of your population is overweight so it's normal 68% of people online are overweight. Did you expect online dating was like shopping in a Victoria's Secret magazine? Like a lot of folks, I turned to online dating expecting to find some women who are datable and maybe have their sh*t together. Sadly, I encountered none. We disagree. Part of my point is that online dating is not a representation of real life. It has an over sampling of people who are undatable for various reasons.
phineas Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 HAha very true... I can tell you this nothing compares to a 35 year old divorced single mom who has not had sex in 2 years....Omg amazing...Some used me for sex...maybe, but I'm not complaining. For every yr they claim they havn't had sex they really mean a month. For every month they really mean week. LOL!
Redfisher Posted December 13, 2015 Posted December 13, 2015 The fact you found 100 women worth messaging on POF tells me your town isn't quite as small as you think it is. I can't find 50 women aged 35 to 45 in my area that list a real profession on POF or don't have "YOLO" plastered all over their profile. OK cupid is worse. I think they are all on Tinder now which is useless if you arn't in decent shape. My town is under 2000 people, but the area is made up of 100's of small towns within a 30 minute drive so I look in a 50 km radius.
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